Do you know your shibari from your kinbaku? Or does the idea of tying up your lover leave you tongue-tied? Well don’t panic, sit back and read our guide by Victoria Blisse and you’ll soon be ready to enjoy the erotic art of Japanese rope bondage..
Rope bondage is a much-loved BDSM discipline as it doesn’t need lots of fancy equipment. It can be done just about anywhere and can be as kind or as sadistic as you like it to be. It’s enjoying a lot of popularity at the moment with the focus being on the Japanese rope bondage styles, like shibari and kinbaku.
A brief intro to shibari and kinbaku
Shibari bondage is a term that you’ll hear used a lot, but the word ‘shibari’ literally means ‘to tie.’ It is often seen as the term for aesthetic art of tying a person. Kinbaku, however, is erotic Japanese rope bondage and describes the sensual connection that comes from the act. Both words can be used to describe Japanese rope bondage and often are interchangeable.
Kinbaku comes from Hojojutsu, an ancient method of torturing criminals. During the 17th-19th centuries, the ties were symbolic to the crimes committed. In the early 20th century this was adapted into highly stylized performances for kinbaku theatre, the ties became safer and more visually pleasing for those watching to enjoy. Since then, kinbaku has gone from strength to strength and is popular now in fetish circles all over the world.
Knowing her shibari from her kinbaku. Image: our very own Victoria Blisse.
Getting tied up in (kinbaku) knots
Your first decision is what kind of rope to use. From soft cotton to scratchy jute you can pick whatever you like but bear in mind that the thinner the bondage rope is, the more pressure is put on one spot, which can lead to nerve damage and circulation problems. 8 mm is a good width to start with, but it isn’t recommended to go thinner than 5 mm. The length you need is again a personal decision but 8 metres is a good length, and you can always tie on another piece if needed.
Bondage rope needn’t cost an arm and a leg; you can pick some up at your local DIY store. At the other end of the scale, you can buy very expensive, beautifully dyed and treated rope for play. Start with the cheap stuff and if (or should I say when) you get hooked then you can look to invest in the prettier stuff if you want to.
Anyone thinking about indulging in rope bondage needs to have a pair of paramedic scissors. These are to cut the rope if the bunny (the person being tied) is in any distress. These two items, rope, and medical emergency scissors are all you need to get started.
Into kinbaku or other types of rope bondage? Add rigger or rope bunny to your profile and discover kinksters into the same 
Common risks practicing shibari and kinbaku
Before starting, you need to do a little research in anatomy. One of the most severe risks in shibari and kinbaku bondage is nerve damage. You need to know where the nerves and pressure points are in the human body so you can avoid resting ropes and knots over these areas. When you are involved in a rope scene, be sure to keep communicating. As a bottom (aka rope bunny) any shooting/sharp pain, tingling or numbness you experience must be reported immediately to the rigger (the person tying). As a top, you should frequently be asking for feedback on pain.
Next, you need to get to grips with knots. The best way to do this is to learn from an experienced rigger. Look for rope events (sometimes called bondage jams) at your local dungeon, most places hold them regularly. If you can’t get to an event, you can find all the knots online too. Youtube will show you how to tie square/reef knots, Lark’s Heads, half hitches and other basic knots and more complex ones too.
Once you have the basic knowledge, the world of rope is your playground. There are many ways to tie, but there is no one right way to do it. As with anything in the world of BDSM as long as it’s Safe, Sane, and Consensual, you can be as creative as you like.
Western methods of Japanese rope bondage
There are also western methods of tying, such as suspension which involves hanging your bunny with rope from a suspension point (or several). It requires a whole lot of trust and skill to be done without causing any harm and is best learned from an established rigger at your local dungeon/rope event..png.967480dd696138c8c7ded90a9474ec66.png)
Suspension bondage
You don’t have to stick to just one type of tying, and you don’t even have to think about suspension if you don’t want to. You can mix and match knots and skills to make the ties that make you happy. Rope bondage can be relaxing and peaceful as well as being sadistic and painful, and its adaptability is a key to its popularity. So why not give kinbaku or shibari a go?
Victoria Blisse was an erotic author and sex-positive Reverend. She helped shape fetish.com and FET from the very beginning and we're eternally grateful for her passion and creativity. Sadly, she passed away in January 2024. We hope that whenever her articles are read, she'll be honored.
Got questions about Japanese rope bondage? Get answers from experienced riggers and rope bunnies in the forum or chat rooms. Plus, try our free BDSM quiz to find out more about your role and kinky personality.
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Images: model released from Shutterstock.com
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