Now that COVID restrictions have eased, many of us feel safer to get out there and have fun at BDSM events. But have you ever thought about what it's like to volunteer at one? We asked kinky writer Caitlin to talk about her experiences of what she gets up to at her local kink event.
I'm privileged enough to know the organizers of one particular local BDSM kink event, which certainly helped me get a foot in the door. And while all kink events have different challenges and goals, volunteering at one has given me a unique insight into their organization.
Where I volunteer, there's a registration area, a littles’ space, an aftercare room full of comfy couches, and a newbie room where demos of everything from electro to fire play all happen. Most of the action happens in the main ballroom, which hosts the dungeon, boasting numerous St. Andrew's Crosses and hardpoints for rigging, alongside first-aid and the DJ. There's also another room known as the 'mat room,' where people engage in mixed wrestling and the like.
While no complete nudity or penetrative play is allowed, attendees still have a great time – often wear interesting outfits, from chainmail bikinis to adult-sized baby onesies, especially created for bondage.
What do volunteers do at a BDSM kink event?
A lot of time and effort goes into organizing kink events of this kind, with multiple people involved. Alongside five other host volunteers, we have greeters and dungeon monitors (who ensure no one engages in dangerous play or anything against the rules) and people hosting demos in the newbie room. Then there's the door people, managers, etc.
Ensuring nothing goes wrong from a health and safety standpoint and making sure nothing non-consensual happens in a very crowded space isn't easy. It's especially challenging when rooms are loud and full of people hitting, scratching, electrocuting, and setting one another on fire, among other activities.
There is plenty to get your teeth into when becoming a BDSM event volunteer!
A kinky learning experience
The benefits of volunteering are many, and I really feel it has helped me connect more to my kinky community, as well as building my self-confidence and skills.
Furthermore, volunteering at BDSM kink events can give you a great way to experiment. As in my case, getting zapped with a violet wand or having a flaming torch glide across your forearm! It was also interesting to see different people's outfits and witness various fetish subcultures happening before me, from the Dominants smoking cigars outside, to the littles having a tea party and coloring.
The great thing about public events like this is that as long as you're not intruding on people's play space, you can stand and watch what they're getting up to. But being in a sexual area doesn't give you a pass to touch people or say sexual things if you don't have permission or know the person.
“Volunteering at BDSM kink events can give you a great way to experiment. As in my case, getting zapped with a violet wand or having a flaming torch glide across your forearm!”
One thing that made me somewhat uncomfortable during the night was people I didn't know trying to approach me for play. While the space is inherently sexual, it doesn't mean that volunteers want to interact sexually with people they don't know. I've spoken with a few people about this, and the consensus is that it's better to form bonds with people before trying to play.
Volunteering at a fetish event could open your eyes to new kinks
In my experience, there is potential for meeting someone at a kink event and engaging in play with them that night, but you shouldn't necessarily approach someone with that expectation. This can be hard for people new to an event or scene who don't know many people or don't have a partner. I've encountered this sort of mentality in other sexual spaces, like working in adult retail.
Since sexuality is so repressed for most people, it can be stimulating to be in a space where they feel like they can express their sexual self and go a little overboard. While understandable, it can also be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end.
Unleash your kink through volunteering
Ultimately, kink events allow people to express themselves and explore their sexuality in a safe and supportive space. As an educator and volunteer, I'm glad to be a part of this one and will continue to be.
Witnessing people exploring their sexuality and kinks in a welcoming environment is not something you get to participate in every day. I'd definitely recommend it if that's something you get the opportunity to do! •
Caitlin is a writer, sex educator, consultant, and product reviewer who focuses primarily on sex toys, accessory safety, pleasure, sexuality, gender, and more.
Are you a fan of kink events? Has this inspired you to volunteer at one in your area? Share in the Fetish.com forum.
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Images shutterstock/Khomenko Maryna / shutterstock/Razoomanet
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