What is a Dominant?
Dominants like to be in control. Unlike BDSM tops or sadists, their need is not particularly to inflict pain but to be domineering and have control over another person. Some Doms/Dommes expect to be obeyed immediately and without questions. Others enjoy being tested, and having to show their dominance over the submissive who’s being bratty.
There is no one way to be a Dominant. Dom/Dommes can also be sadists, tops, masters or riggers. Dominant is a huge category of BDSM made up of many very different people who all have one thing in common, their need to be in control.
The D in the term BDSM stands for Dominance, therefore Dominants are an instrumental part of BDSM.
Which BDSM archetype matches well with a Dominant?
Dominants are turned on by people being submissive towards them be that by using an honorific such as ‘Sir’ or ‘Miss’ when talking to them or by obeying them without question. Every Dominant has his/her own way of being Dominant. Some may be monogamous and want a full time submissive others will only want submissive play partners. Some will only take on one submissive, others will have several depending on their preference.
How to be a Dominant
To be a Dom or a Domme is to be the one who is responsible for the other partner(s) during BDSM scenes and play situations. Some will take their control further, into different aspects of their submissives lives. They may take control of what their sub wears, who should complete domestic chores or where to go on dates. Some Dominants will go as far as to have a list of rules for the sub to comply to, with relevant punishments for misdemeanours.
What's the difference between Dom and Domme?
Some female identifying Dominants choose to be called Domme whereas male identifying Dominants are always Doms. There is no difference in how these words are said, just in their spelling. Also there is no difference between a female or male Dominant. They both take the lead in situations and the responsibilities that come with that.