Sex with Strangers

Why is sex with strangers such a popular kink and how do you make it a fantasy come true? Let FET's own Victoria Blisse tell you all about it. 

In 2022, Sinful ran a survey to find out the top ten fantasies of British people. 16% of women and 21% of men reported a desire for sex with strangers. Sadly, the report was simply binary but I am sure that several people of all genders would like to get busy with someone they’ve just met. So let’s dive into this strange mystery…

Why do some people like sex with strangers? 

It’s a hot fantasy for some and a hotter reality for others but some folks just don’t get the attraction at all, why is that? 

• Danger  – The fear of discovery, the unpredictability of what could happen is attractive to some and well, scary AF for others. 
• Empowerment – Taking control of your pleasure and getting it in any way you can is a strong move. Just being a sexual being and using your body autonomy to make you happy is powerful whether that’s in a one-night stand or long-term relationship. 
• Naughtiness – Sex with a stranger is a big taboo and is stereotypically frowned upon. An emotional connection is what is expected before sex, and just having sex for the sake of sex is seen as slutty. Not to slut shame, we’re pro-slut here at FET but heteronormative society really isn’t. 
• Chemicals – Dopamine flows when you engage in exciting behaviours and getting to live out a fantasy is a big jolt of happy brain chemicals before you even get to any orgasms. 
• Good for your health – If you are a fan of NSA sex and one-night stands, indulging in sex with strangers is actually good for you as proved by a study of 371 students.

There are so many hot reasons to get it on with someone you barely know. 

Fetish Scene: Sex with Strangers

Do kinky people have more sex with strangers? It depends on your definition of both ‘sex’ and ‘stranger.’  People at fetish clubs and kink clubs may indulge in play with people they’ve only just met. That might involve sex of some kind but not all kink play is sexual. Are they strangers? Possibly. But they may have met online or been in the same club for many different events.  

However, kinksters are more likely to try all kinds of different kinks and fetishes as they’re less judgemental and more open-minded and also have more opportunities to indulge in sex with a stranger.  Swingers clubs, kink dungeons, dogging sites and cruising areas: There are many ways to hook up and with a Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) at the fore, the experience is more likely to be informed and therefore more fun. 

Safety: Sex with Strangers 

Is having sex with strangers more dangerous? It certainly has a number of risk factors you don’t need to think about with established partners or more conventional dates. 

Who’s place? Be mindful of where you’re going to have sex. A hotel would be the safest option, but if you’re going back to yours or theirs, make sure someone you trust knows exactly where you’ll be.  

Arrange safety calls: Get a friend to call you at a certain time or send a text message to let them know everything is okay. This way if you don’t contact them at a certain time you can be chased up. 

Safewords: It’s a given for most kinky interactions but a safeword should be in place for stranger sex too, so if it’s not going as you want you have a way to stop it. 

How’s your mental health? You might think that having sex with someone you don’t know is the perfect way to get over a bad breakup or to give you a self-confidence boost. Think about how you will feel afterwards. Make sure you’re not doing something risky that will really hurt you in the future. 

Stay safe: Safer sex is always worth consideration. Be prepared to go to a safer sex clinic for STI testing. Even if you use protection it’s a good idea to get checked a little while after you had sex with a new person for the first (or only) time. 

If you’re not totally comfortable with your behaviour or feel like you’re addicted to sex with strangers, contact a medical professional to talk about it. Our kinks and fetishes should be a source of happiness and confidence. 

The Final FET: Stranger Sex 

Sex with strangers is a good way to boost happy brain chemicals, a naughty and sexy way to make a fantasy come true, or a positive way to boost your confidence. If you want to find someone into it as much as you are, add it to your kinks and fetishes list! •

Victoria Blisse was an erotic author and sex-positive Reverend. She helped shape fetish.com and FET from the very beginning and we're eternally grateful for her passion and creativity. Sadly, she passed away in January 2024. We hope that whenever her articles are read, she'll be honored.

Write all about your stranger sex fantasy in the FET forum or in the comments down below. Don’t be a stranger to your kinks and fantasies!

Images: Shutterstock/Roman Samborskyi ; shutterstock/Antonio Guillem