YouTube. Dr.Doe she keeps it pretty basic on YouTube but if you decide to follow her to her site she goes more into detail. I have gained many resources from her.

Safe word alternative: I tap out like the wresters do. I haven't figured out yet what to do if I'm also bound but thankfully it hasn't come to that.

I'm not sure I'm the right perso to give advice but I can tell you what I did. I baught BDSM instruction videos (adameve.com, bettersex by the siclair institute, extremrestraints.com) . Then I asked him if he trusted me to pick the video for the evening. and that' s what we wached. As we wacted, I Read more… pointed to the screen and said "I want to try that." I'm suprized it worked.

Walking into a dungeon for the first time can be daunting whether you’re completely new to the scene or just new to that particular dungeon or club. You might feel reluctant to ask what a particular piece of dungeon bondage furniture is used for, so we introduce you to one of the typical pieces of Read more… BDSM equipment that you’ll find in your local dungeon and explain how to use them.
This article explains how to use a St Andrew's Cross, a popular piece of dungeon bondage furniture because it tends to only take up only a small amount of space but has lots of different uses.
What does a St Andrew’s Cross look like?
The Scottish Flag has a St Andrew’s cross on it. That’s because St Andrew, the Patron Saint of Scotland, is said to have been crucified on a cross placed on the diagonal and has since lent his name to crosses of this nature. So unlike the classic Christian Crucifix, the St Andrew’s cross is a large ‘X’ like a kiss on the end of a text message.
BDSM dungeon Saint Andrews's cross and impact play gear walls.
So in a BDSM dungeon what are you looking for? An X shaped piece of equipment, often made of wood, sometimes metal and occasionally with padded leather. It is likely to be up against a wall or in a corner but occasionally can be horizontal.
Some bondage crosses will have built in restraints, either for wrists or ankles or for both. In general, this piece of equipment is one of the easiest to understand and use. There may also be blocks, steps, slots or rests for standing on and lifting the sub up from the floor, making them feel a little more ***.
How to use a St Andrew’s Cross
The person who will be on the receiving end of the play simply stands in front of the bondage cross. Either facing it or with their back to it. From there you can add restraints, either those provided or add rope or chains of your own or maybe a blindfold for sensory deprivation.
The top then can choose the area of the body they want to focus impact on. This item of furniture is especially good for play centred on the back and shoulders or breasts but also can be used for impact on buttocks, crotch and thighs.
The St Andrew’s Cross can be a good base for other play too. It can provide an anchor for rope or chain, could be used for wax play (be sure to cover the floor with suitable protective sheeting) so you don’t have to stick to just impact play.
The Cross is a very versatile piece of dungeon bondage furniture, and is good for all kinds of crucifixion bondage scenes using many varied implements. It’s also good for longer scenes of bondage crucifixion as the person is usually stood up, not restricted and doesn’t necessarily need to be restrained.
What Implements can you use?
You can utilise all kinds of implements during play sessions on the St Andrew’s Cross. It is especially well suited to the use of whips and floggers. This is because someone stands to play and isn’t bent over. The item also tends to have plenty of space around it.
It also allows the bottom to move around in response to the *** and gives them something to hold on to/lean on if needed. There is nothing on the bondage cross itself to impede the use of whips which can easily snag if the area isn’t clear.
Of course you can use paddles, crops, canes and other more close quarter implements too. As well as Wartenburg wheels, claws and other spikey items. If you’ve got it in your kit bag you can more than likely use it in a scene on a St Andrew’s Cross. It’s that versatile!
A word on safety when using dungeon bondage furniture
Before a bondage crucifixion scene starts make sure the cross is well secured to the wall or is standing securely, check any attached restraints and if you use them be sure that they’re not too tight. Make sure the bottom is able to move at least a little bit to prevent muscle strains and tearing.
If you are planning to use long implements such as whips or floggers be sure there is plenty of room around you. Keep an eye on other people in the dungeon space so that you don’t accidentally hit someone who doesn’t want to be. Communication is key in any BDSM scene, be sure that you have your prearranged signals in place before a crucifixion bondage scene starts. As a bottom be aware that if you are facing the cross your top might not be able to hear you if you speak quietly. They won’t be able to lip read or take keys from your facial movements. So if you need them to stop, speak up! This is especially important if you are playing with a partner for the first time.
If any of your play produces *** be sure to clean all your implements, the Cross and any areas which might have come into contact with it. Tend the wound and if it continues to bleed be sure to cover it with a plaster. And be sure to cleanse your implements accordingly, including changing crackers on your whips.
After use, wipe down any areas that have come into contact with the body with disinfectant. This leaves the item squeaky clean for the next user.
Victoria Blisse is an erotic author, a sex-positive Reverend and part of Smut.UK who arranges events for curious and kinky people with a literary bent.
All images (unless otherwise stated) via Shutterstock

You've met the perfect person - the Dominant to your submissive. But they live in another time zone, across the country, or on another continent. We take a look at how you can make long-distance BDSM work.
Thanks to the online world, we can connect with people from across the world. We can find our Read more… kinky soulmate, and they live so far away you wonder if you'll ever meet them in real life. Purely online hookups to deep, meaningful long distance relationships are made from these circumstances every day.
My relationship began after a few blog comments turned to emails. Thankfully, we lived in the same state, but distance is distance. If you can't get to the other person without spending a lot of time or ***, it's a long-distance relationship. Add a need for Dominance and submission (D/s) or kink, and a difficult relationship is that much harder.
Things to consider in long-distance BDSM
When you care about the person enough, sacrifices of time, sleep, and *** are easy to make. The same is true in kink relationships. Don't let anyone tell you long-distance BDSM isn't possible. You just have to know a few tricks, workarounds, and absolute truths.
A willingness to communicate
Any long-distance BDSM arrangement is going to require a willingness to communicate. But long-distance BDSM requires even more communication than you may realise. You're not just learning each other's likes, dislikes, and habits. You're discovering the most intimate details of each other to make your kink work. Phone calls, text messages, emails, instant messenger, snail mail, and hell, maybe even smoke signals might be required. Get used to talking all the time.
Trust and honesty is crucial in long-distance BDSM
You earn trust by being honest and having integrity. That's just a rule of life. In kink, and especially when navigating long- distance BDSM it's even more important. The wrong information, a white lie, or even a big fat whopper of a lie could lead to someone getting physically hurt.
Additionally, when you can't see each other to watch facial expressions and body language, you only have words to build a trusting relationship. Trust is crucial to being willing to get your kink on with another person.
Doing what you say you'll do
Long-distance BDSM, especially D/s, only works because one person believes the other person is doing what they said they would. If your Dominant tells you to get naked and touch yourself, do it. In my relationship, as a submissive, there were times I got in trouble for a missed task or bad attitude.
My Dominant told me to kneel in the corner for a certain amount of time as punishment. Yes, I could have said I did it and watched TV instead, but that's not how kink should work. I took photos documenting the punishment - the corner, my knees after they were pressed against the carpet, whatever I could to show I'd done what I was told.
Ideas for kink in long distance BDSM relationships
Okay, so maybe you've already got the communication, trust, and integrity part down. You're waiting for me to give you concrete ideas on how to make long-distance BDSM work, practically. Here are some kink ideas straight from my own relationship:
Masturbate for your partner over the phone. Let them deny or *** the orgasms. You might be edged - stopping just before your orgasm. You might have to beg for permission. You may have to keep making yourself orgasm until it's ***ful.
Indulge in some outdoor or public masturbation. Not completely public – the bathroom at work, a supply closet, sitting in your car. Either way, you may have your partner send pictures of their body or their wet, sticky hand.
Wearing an anal plug in public. Picture proof may be needed. Nipple clamps or rope harnesses are possible ideas, too. Anything that can be worn under clothing, so only you and your partner know.
Bedtime rituals. While my Dominant and I were still in long-distance BDSM, we spoke on the phone every night. Before hanging up, I asked permission to go to bed. Sometimes I was granted an orgasm or several - and sometimes not.
Spanking yourself, pinching nipples, clothespins on the skin. If you're into *** (giving or receiving), it can be done long distance. Sure, the receiver of the *** has to do it for themselves, but pictures, phone calls, or Skype can make sure the giver gets to revel in it, too.
Lots and lots of sexting. My Dominant and I played out many a kinky sexual fantasy through text message while we were apart. Dick pics and pussy shots were also common messages we sent back and forth, too.
For those in power exchanges, you can get your kink on by creating/following non-sexual tasks like clothing choices, underwear options (to wear or not to wear, that is the question), what to eat, when to sleep.
If your kink is power and control, you can agree between the two of you where your partner will have/give up control over daily life. With trust and integrity, you don't have to be together to make that work.
Long-distance relationships aren't easy. Long-distance BDSM is even harder. But with a lot of trust and communication and some creative thinking, you can make it work until you're able to be together again.
Kayla Lords is a freelance writer, sex blogger, and a masochistic babygirl living the 24/7 D/s life. Follow her on Fetish.com and get in touch!
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Images by torbakhopper and Jonathan Rolande via Flickr with CC BY 2.0 license