Masters of the Shadowlands by Cherise Sinclair. Opened my eyes on BDSM. Bought the whole series. Well worth the read

Your Sir. I’m so pleased you understood my journey. Tonight I’ve been whipped. Never used the safe word but I did use Amber a couple of times. Man it hurt, however it was the dragons tail and single tail that hurt. The floggers I could handle. However. The best thing is he used knives on me. The Read more… sensation, as by law you’re not allowed to cut but I shuddered. Do that to me enough times and I’m surely to cum but as this top of mine is non sexual and my protector and helping me on my journey, now as a newbie who’s never had a Dom sexually, I want knife play. It’s not as bad as people think. It’s all in the mind. To shudder like that when I’ve not had sex in 3 years taught me things about myself. I like pleasure and ***. I hope to meet a monogamous Dom/daddy Dom. Still not sure which one yet but I know right need a loving Dom only for me. I don’t share. Never. No disrespect but no cock is that great I’d share it. I’m being true to me.
💋

As a new sub myself, and having had thoughts about being dominated for many years I’ve not yet found a loving Dom as of yet but I’m prepared to wait as I’ve only just started on my journey. I have however been fortunate enough to have a mentor who I met through here.
One of my biggest struggles is Read more… talking about what I want sexually as well as not having much confidence but he’s taught me that it’s okay and to go at my own pace. He encouraged me to take pictures of myself which I’ve now found quite liberating but I’m still shy so I’m not able to do the full nudity thing yet but I know I will. I’ve struggled wondering if I’m normal.
I mean why do I fantasise about being hurt then being held and loved after. Why do I have dirty thoughts in my head about being taken roughly but my mentor has ensured me it’s all normal. You just want kink. It made me want to explore more about me and I got on a different site where I met a guy who is now showing me the ropes. He’s not my Dom but I needed to get out and meet people so I went to his rope class.
Fantasised about that and the people were so nice. Not only did I get roped I got suspended. Loved it. The people were normal. Not sure what I was expecting but all ages and sizes. I then got invited to a club event. Him and his girlfriend also do fireplay. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Got dressed up in thigh length boots and a black dress and how I didn’t fall as I was shaking so much was beyond me.
I was driving up thinking what are you doing woman? Once I got there I met all types of people from TV’s to couples all with different fetishes. I did do fireplay and loved it. Tomorrow I’m doing a whip scene for the first time ever and I will have the aftercare from him. I’m now exploring my masochistic side as this will help me when I eventually meet a Dom what I can handle. It also takes the pressure off me in having to jump in to a D/s relationship as it’s scary but exciting.
What I’ve found helpful is to stop hiding behind my phone and get out there. Meet people as they have made me feel so welcome and what I love about these events is there is no pressure to do anything and just meet like minded people who have given me some great advice and taken me under their wings. I couldn’t ask for more. I’m so scared for tomorrow and the whip scene but excited.
I want to cry when it’s going on and thought I was abnormal but it’s not. It’s normal to want that. Of course I’d much prefer my own Dom doing it but I’m thankful I’ve met a Master in rope, fireplay and the whip. That helps. I’ve had meltdowns thinking I can’t do this but the support I’ve had is amazing. I am just starting on this journey and super proud how far I’ve come. When I do meet my own Dom I’ve no doubt I will have other struggles to deal with but I’m prepared for it a little better now. Hope that helps a bit and not sure if I’ve gone on too much so I apologise in advance. Your own journey sounds amazing. X