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I’m a new sub that’s been interested in kink for quite some time and decided to take the leap. I’m looking to meet other subs and doms that can offer advice from different perspectives
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**TW** Unsure what to do
**Trigger Warning - Reason: *** references**
I’m gonna try to cut a long story short but still include enough information to get legitimate advice.
I was molested for a long period of time at a young age and didn’t seek help until I was in my early 20’s which is still ongoing.(I’m 28 now). As a Read more…***ager I suffered all the mental health related problems associated with ***. I was late to the sex game, not losing my virginity until I was 20ish. I’ve managed to have several meaningful sexual relationships since then without any major problems or triggers. I’ve always been into the bdsm side of sex and have had partners spank, *** and tie me up, but most of them did it because I wanted them too, they didn’t have any passion for it themselves. After being single for a couple years I was looking to fulfill a need. I did about 6 months worth of research and reading and decided I wanted to find myself a dom. So I went looking in my area. I found one and we started chatting and I told him about my ***. We got to know each other as people, talked about our d/s wants and needs, limits ect. We had a couple meetings just as people to get to know one another and spent months over text communicating, doing tasks and setting expectations. We did that for a few months and I decided I was finally ready to meet for a d/s session. I was ready, I was excited, and a little nervous. However the session did not go how either of us had hoped. I couldn’t settle into the process and had trouble relaxing, and I ended up using our “slow down” safe word more than once. I just got so overwhelmed by it and afterwards I dropped pretty hard. We both agreed that perhaps I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was and we needed to slow it down and take more time. (We chatted extensively about this and he assured me that I was in no rush to make a decision) I'm questioning whether I should be trying again or whether I just walk away having tried it and struggled. Has any other sub been in my position? Has any other Dom had a sub who was ***ed? I'm just looking for some other perspectives. Thankyou
I’m gonna try to cut a long story short but still include enough information to get legitimate advice.
I was molested for a long period of time at a young age and didn’t seek help until I was in my early 20’s which is still ongoing.(I’m 28 now). As a Read more…***ager I suffered all the mental health related problems associated with ***. I was late to the sex game, not losing my virginity until I was 20ish. I’ve managed to have several meaningful sexual relationships since then without any major problems or triggers. I’ve always been into the bdsm side of sex and have had partners spank, *** and tie me up, but most of them did it because I wanted them too, they didn’t have any passion for it themselves. After being single for a couple years I was looking to fulfill a need. I did about 6 months worth of research and reading and decided I wanted to find myself a dom. So I went looking in my area. I found one and we started chatting and I told him about my ***. We got to know each other as people, talked about our d/s wants and needs, limits ect. We had a couple meetings just as people to get to know one another and spent months over text communicating, doing tasks and setting expectations. We did that for a few months and I decided I was finally ready to meet for a d/s session. I was ready, I was excited, and a little nervous. However the session did not go how either of us had hoped. I couldn’t settle into the process and had trouble relaxing, and I ended up using our “slow down” safe word more than once. I just got so overwhelmed by it and afterwards I dropped pretty hard. We both agreed that perhaps I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was and we needed to slow it down and take more time. (We chatted extensively about this and he assured me that I was in no rush to make a decision) I'm questioning whether I should be trying again or whether I just walk away having tried it and struggled. Has any other sub been in my position? Has any other Dom had a sub who was ***ed? I'm just looking for some other perspectives. Thankyou
BarbieGirl70 There are trauma resolution specialist who treat your type of issues that are stored in the central nervous system (flight, fight, fawn, freeze) You body is programmed to put up warning systems when triggered ( similar senses are triggered like a tone of voice, taste, touch etc…). Your body is Read more… trying to protect you so please be kind to it.
Waking the Tiger by Perter Levine is a good book to read to get a baseline understanding of the treatment protocol.
Good luck in your healing journey!! Care & love toward your body & self will help you as you heal.
I hope this helps 🙏🏽
Waking the Tiger by Perter Levine is a good book to read to get a baseline understanding of the treatment protocol.
Good luck in your healing journey!! Care & love toward your body & self will help you as you heal.
I hope this helps 🙏🏽
LikeSallySkellington, ThumperG
· 01.04.2022 20:03:17
Sassybrat55 Well none of started where we are. We all had to learn grow and experience things.and part of what a good Dom does is teach and help you grow in whatever area you need. If your serious then find a mentor or a teaching Dom to help you. Also it takes time to build trust. Talking is one thing actually handing over that power is a whole new beast. Best of luck Well none of started where we are. We all had to learn grow and experience things.and part of what a good Dom does is teach and help you grow in whatever area you need. If your serious then find a mentor or a teaching Dom to help you. Also it takes time to build trust. Talking is one thing actually handing over that power is a whole new beast. Best of luck
LikeSallySkellington
· 01.04.2022 8:39:15
Deleted profile When you got to know each other as people, did you have vanilla sex before you tried the session?
If not, having more physical intimacy in ways you know you are comfortable with might serve as a sort of transition. And then you can slowly add more bdsm elements as a more natural feeling part of Read more… your relationship.
If if is important for you to have a dom, I think you should try again eventually. And maybe with somebody else, if need beBut you probably need to change your approach or work more through your trauma first in other ways, ideally with s therapist or the like.
If not, having more physical intimacy in ways you know you are comfortable with might serve as a sort of transition. And then you can slowly add more bdsm elements as a more natural feeling part of Read more… your relationship.
If if is important for you to have a dom, I think you should try again eventually. And maybe with somebody else, if need beBut you probably need to change your approach or work more through your trauma first in other ways, ideally with s therapist or the like.
Like
31.03.2022 10:37:41
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