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complex emotional crap
I find I have a history of bickering with my partners and having power struggles over things, and am only calm in the relationship when being dominated/fucked a lot. When there are periods where everyone is too tired for that kind of play, or we aren't playing as much, I become a difficult person Read more…to get along with. I don't have 24/7 relationships for a tangle of logistical reasons (and trust issues), so that's not a good solution.
Has anyone experienced this, been to therapy around this, etc? What typically happens is that when my partner has not topped me for a few days everything he does starts to get on my nerves, whereas for a day or so after a scene, especially a heavy scene, I am as sweet as pie and very amicable. I know and understand that I am being unfair and this is an issue with me. I am just not sure what it is or how to resolve it.
I wonder if part of this is a mismatch in libido, I have a very high libido and have some embarrassment around this (the old "women aren't supposed to be like that" crap). Last week we fought after going to bed and I tried to prod my partner into manhandling me a bit and he was like I'M TIRED OMG GO TO SLEEP (I was very embarrassed and hurt). In the past I have tried polyamory to remedy this, but did not have good experiences/a deep connection with it.
Has anyone experienced this, been to therapy around this, etc? What typically happens is that when my partner has not topped me for a few days everything he does starts to get on my nerves, whereas for a day or so after a scene, especially a heavy scene, I am as sweet as pie and very amicable. I know and understand that I am being unfair and this is an issue with me. I am just not sure what it is or how to resolve it.
I wonder if part of this is a mismatch in libido, I have a very high libido and have some embarrassment around this (the old "women aren't supposed to be like that" crap). Last week we fought after going to bed and I tried to prod my partner into manhandling me a bit and he was like I'M TIRED OMG GO TO SLEEP (I was very embarrassed and hurt). In the past I have tried polyamory to remedy this, but did not have good experiences/a deep connection with it.
Dustykat I think I understand I had some of these issues in the past but my way to resolve it was to take things in hand and have a conversation with my partner about my needs 🧚🏻♀️ I think I understand I had some of these issues in the past but my way to resolve it was to take things in hand and have a conversation with my partner about my needs 🧚🏻♀️
LikePrimalHunter
· 24.01.2022 3:29:09
oldfellow @sheloveshim, You seem to understand the problem already. From what you describe it's about the frequency of your sessions.
While I can understand a reluctance to have multiple partners you need somebody who can keep up with you. Maybe a younger partner with more energy?
Some of what you describe could be thought of to be bratty behaviour. Are you certain that your partner is not denying you as a part of your wider D/s dynamic? @sheloveshim, You seem to understand the problem already. From what you describe it's about the frequency of your sessions.
While I can understand a reluctance to have multiple partners you need somebody who can keep up with you. Maybe a younger partner with more energy?
Some of what you describe could be thought of to be bratty behaviour. Are you certain that your partner is not denying you as a part of your wider D/s dynamic?
While I can understand a reluctance to have multiple partners you need somebody who can keep up with you. Maybe a younger partner with more energy?
Some of what you describe could be thought of to be bratty behaviour. Are you certain that your partner is not denying you as a part of your wider D/s dynamic? @sheloveshim, You seem to understand the problem already. From what you describe it's about the frequency of your sessions.
While I can understand a reluctance to have multiple partners you need somebody who can keep up with you. Maybe a younger partner with more energy?
Some of what you describe could be thought of to be bratty behaviour. Are you certain that your partner is not denying you as a part of your wider D/s dynamic?
Like
· 23.01.2022 14:39:30
gemini_man Have you tried talking to him, calmly and rationally, when you're not feeling irritated about it? Explaining to him, just as you have done here, how you feel?
Perhaps if something more structured is put in place around when you will play, it will give you *both* something not only to be prepared Read more… for, but to look forward to, rather than it being spontaneous.
.
Nothing wrong with spontaneity of course, but it does take *both* to be in the mood for it at that given moment - and with BDSM that would include having the right mindset too.
.
So having that routine in place of specific days to play would address some of that?
.
Either way communication is the key here, as it often is with things like this.
Perhaps if something more structured is put in place around when you will play, it will give you *both* something not only to be prepared Read more… for, but to look forward to, rather than it being spontaneous.
.
Nothing wrong with spontaneity of course, but it does take *both* to be in the mood for it at that given moment - and with BDSM that would include having the right mindset too.
.
So having that routine in place of specific days to play would address some of that?
.
Either way communication is the key here, as it often is with things like this.
LikeSlifer, Heartcoreand 1 more…
· 23.01.2022 9:34:39
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3 of 4
How To Win And Get Your Own Way
Haha great post. This would so not work on my D, crying turns him into a demon lol, as does any complaint of "you're hurting me" "that's too hard" etc. I've had to put ice packs on my butthole after complaining "you're hurting me" during anal (not using my safeword but complaining).
LikeMagic69 ·
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Breathplay
My D puts his hand over my mouth and nose sometimes. He can tell from the amount of suction when I'm desperately trying to inhale that it's time to let me breathe a little.
I find choking to be problematic and in the past I have been ***d out (which was not part of the deal) and had a panic attack Read more… when I woke up. (I am no longer with that partner)
LikeMossyBoy ·
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