A question for switches

[Co****]

Hi.....this is a thought that occurred to me after joining in on another thread.

How easy is it to change the headspace from Dom/ me to Sub, or Vis a Versa ?

I understand that with a Genuine D/s relationship, the mind connection is the most important thing. (as well as compatability, and physical )

I can see how it could be easier to just switch roles Physically.

But it is the mindset ,..... the connection behind it, I was interested in.

This is asked with respect, and not meant to offend anyone.
I'm just genuinely curious.

Can a Switch truly envelop both Roles mentally and in their being.

[Co****]

I should add that I m most at home with the Sub Role, and not looking to switch 

[Dn****]

For me it fluctuates like any other mood or craving. I don't try to do one or the other, I just follow the feeling.

[lg****]

I’ll first of admit I don’t have a lot of experience either way but I have found it quite easy. I had always thought of myself as a dominant and it was weird for me the first time I decided to submit to my partner (at the time) and although I’m not sure she was too into it, she played along. I found it quite hot and although I’m single now, I know I will lean towards that role moving forward. However, I still found plenty of times where I wanted to have my way with her.

I suppose like most things, it just depends on how we’re feeling in that moment. Sometimes I want to tie up a partner and give them a good spanking, and sometimes I want that done to me.

[Ba****]

I can only speak from second hand experience. I do not switch but have switchy friends. Sometimes it’s as simple as being around a person. Different people trigger different mindsets. Music can help (if you associate a specific song or genre to each role, it’ll create a Pavlovian response). It can even just be random. Moods change and it’s possible to swap from Dominant to submissive just like happy to sad

[ba****]

Great question and for me being a switch, speaking on my own behalf it's all just a mood for me. I am a dominant male and like to be dominant, but occasionally if I'm in a crap mood or perhaps a female gets a little aggressive with me in the bedroom I may sub/bottom however you wish to put it. Sometimes I just want to be "***d" in the bedroom. So it's just a mood for me. Most of the time I am at home with being the dominant person in the bedroom but occasionally shove me down tie me up and ride me. It really steams from occasionally wanting to be dominated and slapped around or degraded (hence why sometimes it goes in hand with being slightly depressed) or even being ***d to please my partner (I absolutely love femdom riding). Hope this helps you! I'm sure it depends on the person that is a switch. Everyone probably has different reasons.

[SwitchyStockport]

Hi, I think if its fun then its all good x

[Bourbonandice]

As with some others above for me it’s a mood, a feeling, a moment. I’m primarily Dominant and will lead and play but there are occasions when I can switch on the spot. Other times I just want to let go and let some else lead and be in control/charge. 
 

I’ve not really played much from a submissive perspective or had a submissive dynamic and I don’t think I could be in a dynamic where I was the submissive. But there are times when I just want to be used, or have a release. 

[ge****]

I think it very much depends on the environment and the specific dynamic - like you I'm innately sub CA and couldn't switch if I tried - but my switchy friends have various methods, some of it mood related - or if they're going to a club for essentially pick up play - they'll decide beforehand which role they'll be in for the night, or if they want both, will choose one for the first half of the evening, take a break while they switch mindsets and then be the other for the rest of the evening

[wh****]

I am a Sub but would like to be a switch, this is a very good question!

[Mi****]

I’m a switch, and I find that my daddy and I can switch mid sentence. Like my submission to him is the ultimate power, but so is his. I enjoy being able to command him right after he gives me one is amazing. And it’s a desire we both share.

[ey****]

There are a lot of variables

Some people, for example, are switches - but have a partner who is not so might have a set dynamic with them, but may be permitted to have additional relationships/dynamics/play with others - for them their ability to switch can hinge on the people they are around

This also applies to some people who are switches, and have a partner who is also a switch, but they find they can't switch *with them*

Then of course there are those who can switch with their partner, and different people have different ways they can do this.

Of course it might still be if someone is in a deeply submissive (or deeply 'Dominant') headspace that they can't, at that moment, switch - but this depends on how people play, what their dynamic is like, how formal it is also.

 

[Ja****]

I find it to be easier when you're being very verbal and saying how much you like when the other person is being sub/dom and then switch from there

[En****]

I'm naturally a pleasure Dom, so for me, when I occasionally switch, I find it quite easy to change my mental dynamic from controlling her pleasure for my enjoyment to being used as the object of her pleasure. 

Next playtime we revert to type

She gets points towards a treat, if she does something to especially please me whilst playing.

She can then choose to spend them on a short term treat or save them up for bigger treat, like switching :) 

[Co****]

Thankyou all for your feedback . It's been interesting x

[Nitro69]

So your wanting to play the dom role beautiful 🤩❤️

[Co****]

No I'm not wanting to switch.
I'm still exploring things, and definitely Sub.
I m interested in the change in mindset.
I ve not been able to quite understand how a Genuine Dom can also be a Sub.

Preferences and Shades of Grey I think.
( no reference to the film)

It's interesting.

Though I m not drawn to a Dom who switches. The mental imagery of 'my' future Dom being Sub doesn't sit right in my head.

That isn't meant to be disrespectful to anyone btw

[Nitro69]

Well guess it's not far everyone but the mind set has everything to do with it.if it creates pleasure that your mind doesn't understand doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do especially win he's pleasing you in every way.just perception.have a great weekend beautiful 🤩❤️.

[Nitro69]

Oh and buy the way you have A amazing body so sexy.

[Co****]

17 minutes ago, Nitro69 said:

Oh and buy the way you have A amazing body so sexy.

Thankyou ☺️ Very kind

[ey****]

28 minutes ago, CosmicAngel said:

I ve not been able to quite understand how a Genuine Dom can also be a Sub.

So, this is something I can kinda help with a little bit - but her goes.

'Genuine' is one of those words that is part of a fallacy.   (see also True/Real/etc) it comes under what is known as 'No True Scotsman Fallacy' 

So in this you have an idea of what a Dominant looks like 'to you' - which is pretty much valid. What you would kinda expect from a Dominant.  But, folk are not a hivemind and folk have different things that make them tick.

This is something which sums it up

Quote

Though I m not drawn to a Dom who switches. The mental imagery of 'my' future Dom being Sub doesn't sit right in my head.

Which is fair. It is a preference and what works for you. That you wouldn't want a Dominant that switches and this is honestly fine.

But there are Dominant who do, to some degree, switch.  And that's fine, they're not for you.

And you don't cause offence or mean to, but when you say 'Genuine' Dominant it's the assumption that they're not real Dominants or not really Dominants.  When that isn't the case, they're just not right for you.

[Co****]

I see.......no....I don't mean to say anyone isn't genuine.
It was something I was trying to understand.
Thanks for the post.

[DeviantInside]

47 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Which is fair. It is a preference and what works for you. That you wouldn't want a Dominant that switches and this is honestly fine.

But there are Dominant who do, to some degree, switch.  And that's fine, they're not for you.

And you don't cause offence or mean to, but when you say 'Genuine' Dominant it's the assumption that they're not real Dominants or not really Dominants.  When that isn't the case, they're just not right for you.

I love this answer

[Th****]

8 hours ago, bama405 said:

I may sub/bottom however you wish to put it.

Being a submissive and bottom are not the same thing and interchangeable. Submitting is giving up power and control and bottoming is simply being the person having something done to them by someone else.

A person can be either a Dom or sub and *both* a top or bottom depending on the moment or activities. For example a versatile Dominant but bottom leaning, meaning more often than not I prefer to recieve but I'm the one with the power and control. 

[Th****]

OP there are also people who don't engage in D/s and power exchange at all and only play with top/bottom. Or they have a primary relationship that might involve D/s but in more casual relationships and/or pickup play they might engage in a different role or as a top/bottom only.