qu**** Posted January 16, 2020 Posted January 16, 2020 I think it was saying up untill the 90s it was more of an underground scene , but with the advent of computers it became more widely accepted, whether you'd call it mainstream I couldn't say, of course it's been going on for centuries, even in pre biblical texts there's evidence of it
ey**** Posted January 16, 2020 Posted January 16, 2020 the internet (and magazines) certainly did change a lot and make it easier to connect with people for sure. But yeah, there's something like evidence of BDSM going back over 9000 years. Including tributes
Deleted Member Posted January 17, 2020 Author Posted January 17, 2020 5 hours ago, quietlysure said: I think it meant that's when it stopped being an underground culture In many ways it's still underground but society especially the last 20 years has become much more accepting as far as sexual freedom goes.Why do so many hide their faces on profiles etc??To avoid the predators that hide amongst the genuine folk yes of course but also most of us have to move through the shadows to avoid the possibility of pre conceived opinions of what we are affecting our"Vanilla"lives.People are so quick to judge and condemn something they don't understand properly,*** of the unknown etc.Only one person amongst my closest friends knows the truth of where I am right now and even this man,my closest friend of 43 years was stunned when I told him what I had been up to.Then followed a lengthy conversastion where I had to put him straight on a few matters as even he a man who I consider to be open minded and just had many of those pre conceived and completely wrong ideas of what we are and why we are drawn into this world.
Deleted Member Posted January 17, 2020 Author Posted January 17, 2020 5 hours ago, FabSeverus said: I think yes sub expect some criterias from a Dom. All my subs didn’t ask straight away from a list, it was more some long messages, small talks and laughs really. Then when it was time to meet up I suggest questions, feed her what she should asked to me. somehow it’s good that a sub know how to distinguish between a real Dom to an ***r or a sex pest. no sure about Donnykinkster case but usually I chose the venue and the time. I know most subs don’t like to take decision, even if you are polite it’s best to show some initiative. I've been so lucky in the year or so I have been actively moving in this world,have learned a lot both online and face to face.With the girls I have met and become friends with the one constant I found when meeting was the word"gentleman"kept popping up.They felt comfortable to meet because of my attitude and the way I conducted myself,This was just the first time I had been rejected by someone whom I had only been talking to for 3 days because of those "standards"i live my life by.It confused me a lot and sought reassurance that I was not doing anything wrong.Funnily enough the feedback I received was solely from submissive lasses only and all positive.Im an "old school"gent,was raised that way and that part of what will never change.Im of the belief person first,kink second but it seems some lasses look for a Much quicker sub/dom dynamic and that's what caught me by surprise.All about learning and learn I have but I will not change my style for anyone.However the reason I first posted was for advice and the comments on here including yours have helped immensely.My education continues and I can't ever see and end.
Deleted Member Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 On 1/17/2020 at 2:23 AM, Donnykinkster said: I've been so lucky in the year or so I have been actively moving in this world,have learned a lot both online and face to face.With the girls I have met and become friends with the one constant I found when meeting was the word"gentleman"kept popping up.They felt comfortable to meet because of my attitude and the way I conducted myself,This was just the first time I had been rejected by someone whom I had only been talking to for 3 days because of those "standards"i live my life by.It confused me a lot and sought reassurance that I was not doing anything wrong.Funnily enough the feedback I received was solely from submissive lasses only and all positive.Im an "old school"gent,was raised that way and that part of what will never change.Im of the belief person first,kink second but it seems some lasses look for a Much quicker sub/dom dynamic and that's what caught me by surprise.All about learning and learn I have but I will not change my style for anyone.However the reason I first posted was for advice and the comments on here including yours have helped immensely.My education continues and I can't ever see and end. You are a wonderful person x
Deleted Member Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 On 1/15/2020 at 6:24 PM, DanteReign said: Since I can do nothing about this, I I will continue to compliment women and hope that my kindness is not perceived as offensive. I appreciate that gentlemen are a dying breed, but nonetheless I continue my efforts to prove that some men are still well-mannered. Sorry, @DanteReign, but being complimented on bodily features can come off as creepy objectification, with a tinge of misogyny. I would say use it very sparingly. Find other ways to connect first.
Deleted Member Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 On 1/15/2020 at 6:24 PM, DanteReign said: Since I can do nothing about this, I I will continue to compliment women and hope that my kindness is not perceived as offensive. I appreciate that gentlemen are a dying breed, but nonetheless I continue my efforts to prove that some men are still well-mannered. DanteReign, there are many out there that appreciate your gentlemanliness, your old school-ness and your politeness. Sadly, your efforts will be wasted on some, and you’ll be unappreciated by others. Don’t let it worry you, and certainly don’t let it change you. You carry on being the person you are, because if you’re not always being the person you really are, then you’re just being fake. And fakes get shown up eventually. You carry on being the gentle man that you are, you gentleman!
qu**** Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 This would be something the site is guilty of as well, hosting comps for best photos in a genre, encouraging people to comment on photos, and allowing others to post comments on profile photos as well
Deleted Member Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 31 minutes ago, white_rose said: You are a wonderful person x Your making.me blush now 😂😂So ate you Rose x
Deleted Member Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 2 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said: Your making.me blush now 😂😂So ate you Rose x Interesting typo there, Donny xx
Deleted Member Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 Just now, white_rose said: Interesting typo there, Donny xx Ha ha as soon as I pressed enter I thought you may pick up on that Rose.You never dissapoint x
Deleted Member Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 36 minutes ago, Fredddy said: DanteReign, there are many out there that appreciate your gentlemanliness, your old school-ness and your politeness. Sadly, your efforts will be wasted on some, and you’ll be unappreciated by others. Don’t let it worry you, and certainly don’t let it change you. You carry on being the person you are, because if you’re not always being the person you really are, then you’re just being fake. And fakes get shown up eventually. You carry on being the gentle man that you are, you gentleman! I truly appreciate your words, and I could not have said it much better myself. I remind myself every day, that I will not please everyone. I hope to post something in the near future, regarding my contemplations of this topic. For now, thank you.
ey**** Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 For a slight rule on compliments. Compliment someone on something they've got control over ("I like what you've done with your hair", "That outfit looks really good, you've got good taste", "You're intelligent and I like what you've written") rather than something they don't (i.e. looks, attractiveness, etc.) Obviously there are LOTS of people and LOTS of women who will disagree with me - but if you want to compliment someone while playing it safe, go for something in the former.
Deleted Member Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 As always, Black Sheep, sensible advice rules OK. Your “tell it as it is” no nonsense, no bullshit advice is ALWAYS right on the ***. People who ignore your “straight talking North Eastern lad” musings do so at their peril. There’s never any hyperbole, drama or bollocks with you, is there? And when I’ve seen people hurl *** at you on this forum, you’ve responded in such a calm and controlled way, it really is a lesson to all of us. Take note, people: here’s a member who knows his onions...
ey**** Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 I don't always get it right But, I dunno. I think especially when you're trying to impress someone from a sub perspective - what value am I adding? At a half joke "you're pretty" - yeah, she knows, she owns a mirror and if nothing else it says that what was noticed first was looks. So what else interests you in the person you're trying to impress?
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