Good or bad ice breaking messages

[Ch****]

I do wonder sometimes about how people act online to offline. Ice breaker messages are one of these things. I've only ever seen a few well thought out ones, and I replied to say how good too. Though the majority of the time they are just terrible and leave you thinking , do they act like that all the time.

Feel free to share bad or good icebreakers you have received 

Edited September 14 by Chiana
Forgot to add to title

[sa****]

You are beautiful 😍

[CopperKnob]

Someone made a little rhyme as a first message once. It was funny, relevant to my profile etc. Probably the most well thought out one I've ever received.

[R-****]

I’ve recently had a thought on opening lines and why the beginning efforts might be low:
On several different platforms in which one communicates *after* a match is made, I have taken the initiative to message first where I can. I do my best to be clever, inviting, and specific to the person I’m messaging.
BUT even with that effort (effort and cleverness that my lady-friends have applauded, btw) there is still a high percentage of people I’ve *matched* with that just don’t respond— they swiped on me for *some reason*— and they are using a dating app 🤷🏼‍♂️.
I’m still going to put forth the effort, but it is pretty frustrating to continually put forth effort that is not even engaged with.

But I’d bet I’m preaching to the choir here— I doubt app lurkers are engaging with forums

[John54]

I try to be welcoming and respectful, complimentary if there's something in their profile that's attracted my attention, and inviting of a response

[TimberTara]

I like to send a picture. I think a picture is worth 1000 words.

[cr****]

I just say hello, sometimes something witty. Like you said keep it chill at first and act as i would in person

[Pe****]

My favourite icebreaker for a while was to say “Hi, just to be clear, I’m not a sociopathic knobhead”.
It was fine for a while until someone relied “Liar - takes one to know one”…
That dented my confidence for a while and prompted a rethink.

[gi****]

I’m not too sure I have a hard time starting coversations and knowing what to say maybe somebody could help me with some good icebreaking messages by chance ???

[sm****]

If i do initiate first contact, i try and make it relevant to something that caught my attention enough to take a good look and read through, something written on their profile or a good/relevant answer to a question/forum topic.  A good description and genuine reason, or if it's just a "that made me laugh/smile" in a good way thanks for making my day quote.  

 

As a rule ignore a simple "HI" it's too generic and lacks empathy or that they have actually got anything in common to continue.

Edited September 20 by smeagol

[Th****]

23 hours ago, smeagol said:

If i do initiate first contact, i try and make it relevant to something that caught my attention enough to take a good look and read through, something written on their profile or a good/relevant answer to a question/forum topic.  A good description and genuine reason, or if it's just a "that made me laugh/smile" in a good way thanks for making my day quote.  

 

As a rule ignore a simple "HI" it's too generic and lacks empathy or that they have actually got anything in common to continue.

This is the best way to go about it all, in my opinion. A formula, so to speak, rather than "opening lines." For many people, women especially from my own experience and what I've heard from other women, anything that feels like a line that's being copy/paste sent to everyone that person initiates contact with is likely to be off-putting. 

 

In addition to the ultra low effort "hi" or any variation thereof, initial messages that are statements, not open-ended to invite conversation and interaction are often going to be ignored because the person on the recieving end doesn't know what to do with it. 

[Ki****]

Shit who's letting the ice break anymore sheesh lol I think all my messages go unanswered.... just like this one

[Je****]

2 hours ago, KingDrip said:

Shit who's letting the ice break anymore sheesh lol I think all my messages go unanswered.... just like this one

Change your user name….

[NerdyPunxxx]

On 9/26/2024 at 5:32 PM, Jesssicaa said:

Change your user name….

[Marcus_197Seven]

I've only been on here for 2 weeks, I've had some response and a couple of interesting chats, but I'm working on improving and refining my methods each time. You have to be prepared to put the effort in and work at it

[ba****]

I have one that usually works and leaves you thinking 

just a fun wee game and only once been asked “are we 12” and safe to say indicates personality of a plank 

[Mezmerism]

I have received lots of awful icebreakers. I’ve chosen two to share that are classic examples of how NOT to approach a total stranger! 
 

~ Hi, please can you make me breathe your farts? =)

~  Can I f*ck you in my rover! 
 

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I also hate copy and paste icebreakers. They scream out zero effort so I ignore any that  I receive. 

 

[Th****]

1 hour ago, Mezmerism said:

I also hate copy and paste icebreakers. They scream out zero effort so I ignore any that  I receive.

Sooo much, this. 

[LadyV]

Based on what I see in most of my inboxes online and what I've heard from other women about all their inboxes...it seems like it's mostly just cishet men being shitty.

 

Sexual harassment, fantasy spewing, weird threats, bizarre anti-women rants, desires or demands for things you're explicitly not into and indicate obvious incompatibility that he ignored, and lots lots lots lots LOTS of low-effort "hey."

 

It's all just...bad. So unattractive, uninteresting, and lame. Most of the time, I just block, report, delete, and ignore. They desperately want attention of some sort from women so it's best to not give them any attention at all, good or bad. 

 

I very rarely see a cis dude compose a message worth answering. When I do, it's usually based on him *actually reading my profile* and looking for signs of real compatibility before reaching out to me. 

 

I'm not interested in dating cishet men anymore, but back when I was the ice breakers that worked with me were discussing mutual interests that weren't just about kinks or sex. It's so boring that every dude only wants to discuss kink or sex. The topic gets tedious and overplayed when that's all they ever talk about. I crave people with an actual compatible personality, not just available genitals. 

[sm****]

It's hard to filter out the genuine messages when your Inbox gets swamped, I can totally understand why the vast majority get deleted unread.  It's sadly been the same since day one of fet on the tinternet and decades later just compounded more.  Basically as has been stated quite a large percentage come on for the wrong reasons and just look at it through their own sexual fantasies and wants.

I never take it as a slight if a message gets deleted or unread, or especially if i get a reply sometimes week or so later, but big red flags are if someone actually tries to reply with...."you need to reply" etc etc to their messages to you.  basic etiquette, no reply means not interested.

It helps that the sender actually fills in their profile and not a blank picture or generic shot and at least some assemblance of completing or filling in their profile.  Try and put something in that reflects your lifestyle outside of the kink community.  I have made more friends and contacts through this than both  just contacting each other on a kink related subject.

 

[Th****]

9 hours ago, LadyV said:

I'm not interested in dating cishet men anymore, but back when I was the ice breakers that worked with me were discussing mutual interests that weren't just about kinks or sex. It's so boring that every dude only wants to discuss kink or sex. The topic gets tedious and overplayed when that's all they ever talk about. I crave people with an actual compatible personality, not just available genitals. 

👏👏👏💜💜💜

[BrainyBabeMagic]

Nothing turns me on more than a generic hello/you're beautiful/I think we'll get along from a guy with a blank profile. Nothing turns me like a complete lack of stimulation. 🥵