Popular Post 46**** Posted September 25 Popular Post Posted September 25 I feel like there are people out there for me, but so far have had no luck. Part of it is my own doing, but I also feel as though people look at me for face value instead of ever trying to get to know the real me. How do you get people to want to dig deeper into knowing you for you instead of just a picture or a profile?
pa**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Thats the world of online dating. Shallowness based on looks. Im the same im not great looking, a bit overweight. But its also a natural selection process.
ca**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Just yesterday I thought about what advice I could give a friend for dating. After thinking about various openings or ideas he could apply I so I told him two things. 1) Use an app where you shoot a single shot and then think for real about which part of me or my introduction could this person maybe enjoy! 2) If they don't show an interest it is personal. But has nothing to do with you. If you don't feel sympathy you often don't really care what someone in the city or on your commute says, same goes here. We're all just humans and don't control our sympathies, they just happen (:
Deleted Member Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Its hard to really know someone online specifically since what we first see it their face. You can always try something like video chatting website
Da**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Superficiality has risen immensely since the introduction of social media and online dating. It's a big win being able to get to know people online. On the other hand, people judge mostly based on looks and vibes of pics and profiles. I think it just takes more time to find the right one, but it's also more likely to find really the right one. 🤷♂️ Patience is key, I guess.
Deleted Member Posted September 26 Posted September 26 True attractiveness is more than what can be seen in the mirror. The world places a lot of value on appearance but real attraction lies in your strength of character, the warmth of your heart and the way you treat others. These have more lasting impact and far outweigh the superficial. The people who matter will see you for who you are on the inside and that will make you shine. Physical appearances fade but a beautiful soul only grows brighter with time. Embrace who you are
Leroy-1774 Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Don't beat yourself up over it. Meeting someone is always going to be 10 times easier irl than on an app - use this as a supplement to meeting someone - just have it going in the backround, if things work out then great if they don't then that's also cool -better than not trying. Also remember this is a pretty specified pool on here - are you putting out what reciprocates to the other person's wants and needs? Just be confident kind and concise, it's a matching game bro.
SF**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 You wanna know how easy it is?? Just be yourself and dont look onto everyones motives. Be the best you you can be for yourself, and thats it. Youll have busted hearts and egos all over the place if your not carefull. Somehow i get the feeling you are alot more considerate and responsible. Good luck!!
SM**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Like everyone else is saying don’t beat yourself up, dating and hookup apps have always been somewhat superficial just be patient you’ll find the right audience eventually or even meet the right person irl best of luck mate.
AJ**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 I have wondered the same thing, 99% of women see my profile pic and just ignore my polite message. It seems that women want a good lookin guy that has the time to hit the gym daily and is also an a$$hole instead of a bit so good lookin man that would actually treat them right. It's sad that good honest men have to settle for a woman if he don't want to be alone.
Th**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Coming from the same boat. I don’t place to high value in the online. Far as we know nobody could be finding anyone on here. It’s more to get your self out there finding out what you are and what you want. While also learning about others and figuring out if it’s the route you wanna go. The “relationship” we once held so high has been diluted down but not necessarily in a bad way but how people are changing and how more women are gaining independence. There are no longer roles to be played but 2 people who just enjoy another for a set time. I don’t believe in the if you stop looking it will come to you. If you wait all the ones you want will done be taken. You gotta just try and not be worried about the nos or what nots. Change how you approach people, adapt to what others enjoy, try things out to show a diff side, I’ve seen plenty of people who sorry to say didn’t seem like they were in the same league as there partner but there was something there I didn’t understand. And that’s what you gotta find. You got this man. I’m single to but I don’t mind most times. Be cool to hVe that person to lean on or talk to but good luck brother :)
Vi**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 If you're meeting people online their reaction will essentially always be based on the exterior. I do think that the kink community is more open to the idea of finding somebody that's not physically the best looking. Kinksters understand more what makes a meaningful connection but the pool of potential mates is much lower than some place like tinder or whatever. Online dating is so skewed against men that,we all struggle meeting quality people. Just try to make your pictures and bio reflect you as accurately as you can. Beyond that, it just takes patience. I'd suggest you go offline and try to meet people in real life where they can gauge more accurately you as a whole. And let's be honest, if she's not open to getting to know you based on a picture or a bio, she's absolutely not worth investing any time into.
lo**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Interesting topic. As mentioned in one of the previous comments.. if trying your connect with someone online your pic/appearance is understandably a big deciding factor if a woman will invest time getting to know you. Remember my friend women receive 50 messages to your 1 message. I would say your demeanour/ vibe you give off from your chosen pic is also a big deal when a woman is m as king her decision to reply or not. You my friend in my humble opinion give off a nice guy vibe, safe, friendly. Unfortunately I believe most e women would see you as a friend zone kind of guy. I could be totally wrong, I am no expert. Just throwing an opinion. Wish you luck
Pi**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 I checked out your profile. Don't downplay yourself. Focus on your positive qualities. Take some better pictures. Maybe dress up in one or 2. Have someone take them for you if you can or don't have a tripod. This is an opportunity to tell us about what makes you special. Dating is hard. You are handsome. Online conversation can be difficult as well. Go to book shops or cafes and festivals. Enjoy yourself and talk to people. Best wishes
Ga**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 You're just trying the wrong women. Some women (myself included) will chat despite your looks (though I don't think you're UNattractive). If your personality is where you shine, keep reaching out. You'll find a woman who'll at least give you a shot. Dating is hard for everyone for various reasons, you're not alone. Good luck!
Ba**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Hello! Lady who doesn't care about looks here. I respond to people who speak to me like a human being. Calling me by my username or my actual name if I give it goes a long way. Ask questions, be yourself. If I can't have a conversation with someone, and they can't understand how to communicate or they lack emotional intelligence. I'm done. I care for and treasure my people, I expect the same treatment back. It's not rocket science, but A LOT of people really don't know how to interact properly with others. This is difficult, though. Everyone is different. I don't like someone coming at me in a sexual way. But I know some people like that. Ask questions, be yourself. Make a few jokes. Find out who the person is before being sad that they won't talk to you. Most of the time, you're better off 😅
Ro**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 I’m in the same boat, wish I could help! Best of luck to you.
Deleted Member Posted September 26 Posted September 26 You can’t control what others do..it’s unfair and unrealistic if you did..so take action on the things you can control..your intention is everything..if you looking for surface level connections you limit yourself to surface level people..if you explore the depths of your self you look for others who are the same..however keep in mind what society encourages ..the fact you are using an app where appearance unfortunately does come first that will have its unique challenges..also keep in mind it’s sometimes not about you. Everyone has their own thing going on and has nothing to do with you..give yourself love and keep a healthy level of expectation on yourself (not too much) and you will stop caring what others think and value your own opinion on yourself more and that will bring a level of attraction you didn’t know was achievable
at**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Be yourself be kind and be authentic… I’m not great looking but I meet plenty of women who find me attractive and I them. Don’t be a jerk and you’ll be fine just keep shooting your shot because you miss 100 percent of the chances you don’t take!
Firefox_ Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Online Dating is hard work and a lot of effort has to be put in to get anywhere. Now I am collared and owned, and I have no problem being polite to people who are after just advice (naturally those being disrespectful or rude are ignored) . I'd say personally, the online lobby chat here is the best way to make friends/connections and hopefully things can progress from that. Also just from chatting to others, it'll help with your confidence and understand things you like/dislike etc. Stay true to yourself, that will come through. =) Have faith x
ta**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 Do some stronger grooming and better pics, it goes a long way.
pa**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 30 minutes ago, BabyGirlKiten said: Hello! Lady who doesn't care about looks here. I respond to people who speak to me like a human being. Calling me by my username or my actual name if I give it goes a long way. Ask questions, be yourself. If I can't have a conversation with someone, and they can't understand how to communicate or they lack emotional intelligence. I'm done. I care for and treasure my people, I expect the same treatment back. It's not rocket science, but A LOT of people really don't know how to interact properly with others. This is difficult, though. Everyone is different. I don't like someone coming at me in a sexual way. But I know some people like that. Ask questions, be yourself. Make a few jokes. Find out who the person is before being sad that they won't talk to you. Most of the time, you're better off 😅 Talking to people as a human being and with respect is vital, but sadly 99% dont see that and go by looks alone. Its almost like they all have a vision like Christian Grey.
ba**** Posted September 26 Posted September 26 I have sex on the ceiling preaching hellfire in my sleep..... *** is the answer to your problem
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