Endurance

[Deleted Member]

How long do you think each act should last? Do you try to keep to a set time, a Playlist, or do you just go with the flow? Foreplay, dedicated oral, penetrative and each position that follows, aftercare? I'm curious on everyone's thoughts and preferences

[un****]

i don’t set a timer for anything just let everything flow and wether its the mood that dictates how things progress and at what s***d for how long each position lasts etc because of medical conditions etc in my opinion you can’t just segment it like this requires x amount of time and so on it will follow its natural path you just have to listen to it and listen to your partner and your body don’t fucking hurt yourself trying to please someone else

[Ma****]

Flow.
Unless it is something like tying someone in rope, in one position that isnt very natural. Then definitely have a time set.

[Ba****]

I would personally hate to be trapped to a time frame. When I do scenes at a club, there’s usually a time limit on equipment and I find it really hinders the session. You can’t be fully present for your partner if you’re watching a clock.

For me, it’s most important to discuss what all parties are hoping to get from the scene and what we want to experience/happen. Then it’s a case of just going through it at our own pace and enjoying the time.

[Do****]

Never set a time. Both me and the sub should be focused on the play, not on the clock. Go with the flow

[Th****]

12 hours ago, undeaddom said:

don’t fucking hurt yourself trying to please someone else

I mean... unless you're into that. 😆 In that case then yes, by all means, hurt yourself, but don't *harm* yourself. I did this just yesterday, and have zero regrets. The soreness is a lovely reminder. 

In all seriousness though, to the OP... things really should go with what suits the individuals involved at that time. I specifically didn't say "in the moment" because depending on the activities, some things most certainly should be discussed and negotiated up front and "in the moment" decisions can be influenced by the state of mind in the moment which isn't always a good time to be making such decisions. Whenever it's a thing where safety and harm reduction is important then yes, absolutely time should be monitored. Rope and other sorts of bondage are a prime example.

For me personally, I'm hella ADHD and time blindness is a real issue for me, so I have to be mindful of how long I draw out certain activities so as to not cause unintentional discomfort, hurt and definitely harm to a partner. Even if there are certain times and certain activities where intentional discomfort and hurt is what I/we want. 

Don't try to choreograph too much with the basics (which is what I'm getting the impression you're asking about) it can fuck with the energy of the moment or scene. Unless it's more intense and involved or getting into a public performance, demo, or edge play, then a certain amount of planning and choreographymight be wanted and/or needed. Tops should *always* pay attention to how your bottom is doing, don't just rely on them and their use of safewords. Practice less intense things before building up to more, so you can learn each other, be able to read one another and the bottom can learn to feel confident using their communication and safewords and that the top is looking out for their wellbeing. 

[An****]

Setting a time limit would make it feel like a job not pleasure. Why rob yourself of pleasure?

[ad****]

10-15 min
Take a break then go to town