Dr**** Posted September 28 Posted September 28 Yeah you're asking how to feel secure in yourself more than how to be secure in your body and that's not something you're gonna find on a forum. I'm making a leap here friends but my recommendations would start by reading adult children of emotionally immature parents, then target whatever attachment or relational insecurities you find friend. Be safe and give yourself grace ❤
Ca**** Posted September 28 Posted September 28 Honestly the best I cant thing of is buy clothes that make you feel like you. When I feel really cute and its a low insecurity day I have clothes thats more revealing, and then its a high day and i cant even look at myself in the mirror i tend to cover up more and wear baggy comfy clothes. But both type of clothing is in a certain color palette I like (pastel or mutted), and i mist definitely prioritize texture. (Maybe its the AuDHD) But when I feel comfy and safe its easy to forget or straight up ignore those feelings. Not the best coping skill. But again i very much still struggle with this too and almost everyday is a bad body day. And you can say a shit about eating and exercising but it all boils down to your brain. You and I are very different sizes but body dystrophy tells us the same thing. So honestly therapy is always a good thing too.
Pi**** Posted September 28 Posted September 28 If it's something that you can actually change, then change it. If it's something you cannot change, positive affirmations and positive self talk until you learn to like yourself. Then eventually you will learn to love yourself. It is not an overnight process. You are great with the make up!
Deleted Member Posted September 28 Posted September 28 Self care- besides manicures n massages, find a physical outlet if not gym, CrossFit or martial arts; go dancing classes, hot yoga, bike from one city to another… go for a self pilgrimage
Ca**** Posted September 29 Posted September 29 In order to deal with Body dismorphia, you must 1st realize that you have all the power to change it. I was nearly 300 pounds when I finally decided to do something about it. Within 8 months of strict dietary restrictions and intense training I had cut nearly 100 lbs, a few months later I was toned but not massive which was precisely my goal as it was the most efficient for martial arts.
Th**** Posted September 29 Posted September 29 There's been some good advice already and some that's just 😬😬 I'll reiterate the good... Finding an informed lgbtqia2s+ therapist, peer support both in person, friendships and following people who look like you on social media. Focusing on body acceptance and neutral feelings can often be easier/more successful as well as focusing on being healthy and strong. Care for yourself and your body mindfully and treat yourself as you would someone you care about going through the same things. I'm sure there have to be positive online spaces for peer support as well, this isn't an area I'm directly connected to personally but somewhat adjacent through friends and acquaintances.
Bo**** Posted September 29 Posted September 29 Actually from looking at your pictures there is nothing wrong with your body.. I think you're just trying too hard to cover it up.. maybe you should try getting out and hanging out with people and doing things until you find people who are willing to accept you for who you are and the kind of body that you have.. trust other people and what they think.. it's easy when you're just looking at yourself to convince yourself that you're not that great looking or that nobody else likes you but you don't know that for sure until you get out there and actually start accepting what other people think of you.. your friends see things about you that you won't see in yourself..
Th**** Posted September 29 Posted September 29 51 minutes ago, CarmichaelGuy86 said: In order to deal with Body dismorphia, you must 1st realize that you have all the power to change it. I was nearly 300 pounds when I finally decided to do something about it. Within 8 months of strict dietary restrictions and intense training I had cut nearly 100 lbs, a few months later I was toned but not massive which was precisely my goal as it was the most efficient for martial arts. That's not what body dysmorphia is.
KI**** Posted September 29 Posted September 29 Positive affirmations from your partner during sex is the best way to get rid of body dismorphia. I whispered the affirmations into her ear while doing reverse cowgirl with our bodies rubbing together and after that she was very happy and satisfied with herself. She used to not eat in public because she thought she was fat and after that night we go out for dinners often.
RyanGlen Posted September 29 Posted September 29 I'm shocked to see so many people not know what body dysmorphia is, or giving terrible advice. My first thought is about your mental health and sucideality, are you experiencing depression or thoughts of suiciding? If so, seek mental health support right away. Second, speak to your doctor, I see you from the US so I don't know how it works there, but I'm sure you can see psychology to get long term support. Lastly, if your insides make you happy keep engaging that person, there are lots of tips on this, most sound super cheesy but from what I have heard from people with dismorphia they work. One that comes up repeatedly is, getting a full length mirror stand in front of it and write on it with lipstick, white board pens, glass pens all the thing that you love about yourself. I'm sorry that this is happening for you, and not that it means anything, you look really good, love the goth look. I really hope that you can be comfortable in you body, and you are amazing for reaching out to the community.
lo**** Posted September 29 Posted September 29 Realizing that main stream media isn't right. What they push as a beautiful body, i personally think it's sickly and unattractive. We are all beautiful people. You need to realize that there are people out there that think you're sexy and beautiful just the way you are. Be you, not what the media says you should be. As long as you're happy, that's what matters. I adopted a philosophy a couple years ago because I was struggling with making the world happy. If you aren't my child or my lover, your opinion of me doesn't matter.
DM**** Posted September 29 Posted September 29 I'd recommend checking out a book called Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. She has voice recordings of all the guided meditations from the book on Spotify. If you can't afford a therapist this book is a good enough / better than nothing stand-in. And when you're ready to level up, check out the follow up Radical Compassion.
ch**** Posted September 29 Posted September 29 I think it's a journey to be able to love and accept yourself. Judge yourself as you would judge your best friend, not critical but in a loving way. It's not easy and social media makes it even more difficult. Find someone to talk to who understands. For me, exercise is a huge part of maintaining mental health. Not necessarily for esthetics, but because when I'm exhausted and push myself I'm not thinking about anything else. You will find a way to live your best life and love yourself
ch**** Posted September 30 Posted September 30 15 hours ago, RyanGlen said: I'm shocked to see so many people not know what body dysmorphia is, or giving terrible advice. My first thought is about your mental health and sucideality, are you experiencing depression or thoughts of suiciding? If so, seek mental health support right away. Second, speak to your doctor, I see you from the US so I don't know how it works there, but I'm sure you can see psychology to get long term support. Lastly, if your insides make you happy keep engaging that person, there are lots of tips on this, most sound super cheesy but from what I have heard from people with dismorphia they work. One that comes up repeatedly is, getting a full length mirror stand in front of it and write on it with lipstick, white board pens, glass pens all the thing that you love about yourself. I'm sorry that this is happening for you, and not that it means anything, you look really good, love the goth look. I really hope that you can be comfortable in you body, and you are amazing for reaching out to the community. I’m glad to hear someone touch on the real issue. BDD is like looking at yourself inside a house of mirrors. It’s a distorted realty created in someone’s head about how they view themselves physically that’s not based on reality. It usually stems from some sort of childhood trauma or ***. Going to the gym or altering your physical appearance won’t do you any good unless you fix the part of you that makes you see and hyper-focus on physical flaws that don’t necessarily exist. You can’t slap a bandaid on a disorder. After a while you’ll just find something else to hyper focus on. As lovely as it is to be praised and complimented, it’s just not the same if your brain has you believing otherwise. If you truly have BDD find a support group and some therapy. Physically you’re beautiful and I personally font think you need to change anything, but you need to be able to see that too though.
Sl**** Posted September 30 Posted September 30 You have two options, go on a personal journey of self discovery and self love, or go to the gym
ga**** Posted September 30 Posted September 30 The top piece is to learn how to appreciate yourself. Learn anatomy, learn style, learn fitness so that you have some fluency about what you can see and appreciate plus develop a healthier relationship around as you start taking care of it along the way. Write down whatever you genuinely can appreciate about yourself on post it notes and put them on the bathroom mirror. And in places that you'll see first thing in the morning plus just before you go to bed to help reaffirm it subconsciously in more impactful ways too.
da**** Posted September 30 Posted September 30 Ive used the Obedience app with a sub before who had bad body dysmorphia. We used it to track tasks, excersize, mantras, goals. She purchased rewards with her points. Having a crystal clear tracking system removes the wishey washey did they or didnt they stick to the rules. And if you dont have a partner you can use it to dom your self.
jo**** Posted September 30 Posted September 30 @cherrypoptart49 tell that to the people who think I'm ugly
Dorsetstrider76 Posted September 30 Posted September 30 I can't help with suggestions I'm afraid. But it is worth reminding yourself that most people are more critical of themselves and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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