Am I a bad sub?

[Th****]

Not at all. You need to clear up your dynamics first to know what they're going to be between you both. If that wasn't done it's a major red flag to me, especially if attempting to correct you immediately. Even with a bratty response! That to me just shows good interest not a go ahead full ***!

Honestly experiences like this are why I don't speak with any matches who aren't willing to enter the dynamics discussion and even then, after at least getting to know somewhat!

[Be****]

Well dont be overwhelmed there are different type of people with different type of desires and search. That person was probably upset that he did not find what he was looking for and was not suitable for you. In that kind of situation, it is best to be understanding type that he failed at it, and move on and keep looking for the person that is suitable.

[CopperKnob]

4 minutes ago, BelayaAkula said:

Well dont be overwhelmed there are different type of people with different type of desires and search. That person was probably upset that he did not find what he was looking for and was not suitable for you. In that kind of situation, it is best to be understanding type that he failed at it, and move on and keep looking for the person that is suitable.

Desires are different to demands which are both different to going on the attack when your ego is hurt which is what the OP describes

[Be****]

Correct. Some people cannot handle it due to their character can be weak. Therefore, no need to be overwhelmed by them.just to say goodbye and move on is best. If they persist there is option to block them.

[Leisa]

Speaking from experience, don’t let one bad encounter knock you down. My bad Dom experience did exactly that. To the point I’ve not even considered getting back into a dynamic. It’s been 2 years and he was mentally abusive. While I stepped back to heal I know without a doubt that there’s someone out there worthy of my trust and devotion. I just haven’t found him yet. Men who are emotionally abusive aren’t men. They’re boys throwing tantrums because they didn’t get what they wanted. Know your worry and know you’re exactly someone’s perfect person.

[TX54321]

As a switch, I've had my share of Dom relationships, and I would say, if that, so called dom, was speaking to you like that on this site he's not a real dom! This site should be a starting point to get to know someone, and each of you figure out what exactly you're looking for and are you compatible. Once all of that is situated, then the relationship can go in the direction you both approve of. That type of degrading does indeed take place in some relationships, but it has to be established first! You are NOT a bad sub, just not the right one for someone pretending to be a dom!

[te****]

That's just their *** shown outwardly by uncontrolled reaction as opposed to responding to any given situation. It's not cool nor a reflection of what the intimate intent is here for. That's why there's more predators than community members and it cockblocks why both sides intentions for those who aren't here to find a victim, only a mate

[te****]

In short, no you're not, he's just driven by malicious intent

[Om****]

That’s definitely not a Dom. Every single boundary needs to be respected test limit sure, but if that limit is rejected it must be respected.

[Deleted Member]

Spooky you didn’t do anything wrong. Keep standing up for yourself if goes against your wants and comfort level. I guess my advice for the future is don’t rush into anything. The more you share intimate moments w/o involving bdsm or sex the more comfortable and the more communication you and your dom will have. Remember this thought - always share w your fellow bdsm family who you’re w, who you’re starting to see, where you’re going for the first month I say. People *** power and influence bad decisions making. Don’t be a victim.

[Deleted Member]

I guess the word A-b-u-s-e is a flagged word. People tend to *** power. Especially w BDSM. I believe BDSM is more of a collective activity. Like figure skating lol. comfortability, connection , experience. However you get these alpha males and women w alpha traits that bypass the other persons comfort level and trust and therefore the connection is a flimsy one at best and the experience is terrible if not dangerous. So find your figure skating partner and let him tie you up, blindfold you, clamp your tits together, eat cereal out your butthole if you’re comfortable w that. If not tell his ass to get a bowl lol

[pi****]

Yeah, he sounds like a tool. No real Dom would have reacted that way.

[Ki****]

He sounds like a wannabe Dom. Fake. A true Dom discusses things like that with a potential sub and an agreement is came to.

[Frankink]

It is known that not all dominants like or understand a brat, but I assure you that no real dominant would have that attitude, let alone lack respect. If anything, brats are characterized by unmasking undesirables who pose as dominant without really being so. 

Experiences like this can be unpleasant, even more so when you start in this world, but I think that instead of being sad about what happened you should be happy since you showed that this guy was anything but a true dominant. 

A game or a slightly mocking or joking word, a prank can be something entertaining for someone who understands it and knows how to value it, someone who understands it well sees that it is a playful provocation to encourage a more fun or mischievous tone with a dominant. Not all dominants make a good team with all submissives and vice versa, can you imagine what a disastrous combination between a Hunter and a submissive doll whose enjoyment is staying still? water and oil.

In short, I think it's good for you to see who can better value that dynamic that you like, and fundamentally rest assured that a real dominant would never have that attitude. Just as he lost his temper with you, he thinks, who was really whose bitch? XD