Wo**** Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 I got asked why i still come here, being owned. To make friends, share ideas, connect with people. Maybe meet up. Both Pirate and i have, and will meet others. Learn stuff. It's a community... Why do you use this site?
ey**** Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 my initial aim was to find local play partners; but now - I just quite like the community aspect : I funnily enough haven't met anyone (socially or otherwise) via this site but I do so imagine this will happen in the future. But I think there's stuff I've contributed that others have benefitted from and likewise; a lot of stories and posts I read enrich my knowledge.
Deleted Member Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 To learn,to explore,to evolve,to make friends and maybe one day meet one who matches me,makes my half a whole.I felt isolated for many years and truly didn't understand what the hell was "wrong"with me.Sites like this showed me I was not alone and many have lived a very similar experience.
PixieDust Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 Given that I live in Aussie land I sadly doubt I will get to meet anyone in person from here and at this point in time there are not to many Aussies on the site but hopefully that will change in the future. However I love the site for the friends I have made since joining, the fact that I learn something new every day and that I can also contribute in my own way.
Vandalslut Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 (edited) Ditto to PixieDust - not a lot of Aussies in here, or if there are, they're not as active as some of us other Aussies. As to the why...? Well, the kink scene has evolved enormously in the last five years alone, it's more open - there's on-line kink-shops advertising on OZ telly during prime-time viewing - and it's always good to have new input, explore, meet people who don't think we're weird (double-header for us, kinksters AND pagans) we also really enjoy the community and like Donnykinkster - we were thrilled to know we're not alone, stranded in the Vanillaverse! We've made some fabulous friends through shared connections other than kink. The magazine articles are really interesting, well written and commonsense. There's fabulous short stories and poems (Cheers, Pixie! Keep 'em coming! ). We've also observed a real tendency among the community in here to reach out and help those who are genuinely troubled or in need - and you don't get that just anywhere. So even a stranger's words in here can be a huge consolation and comfort. Like any community, there'll be the jokers, the philosophers, the introspectives, the contributors, the spectators, the ones who ask questions, the learners, the learned...there'll be rows, disagreements, scammers, time-wasters, attention-getters, judgemental types, those in here for dubious motives - like any street in any town, really. Question: Has anyone noticed themselves saying things in here to perfect strangers that they'd NEVER say anywhere else or to anyone else? On ANY topic? Edited February 2, 2020 by Vandalslut
Vandalslut Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 2 hours ago, Donnykinkster said: To learn,to explore,to evolve,to make friends and maybe one day meet one who matches me,makes my half a whole.I felt isolated for many years and truly didn't understand what the hell was "wrong"with me.Sites like this showed me I was not alone and many have lived a very similar experience. You're not alone And there's nothing 'wrong' with you There never was.
Deleted Member Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 Totally,what I've found is because we move generally in the shadows and are a small community who are misjudged by "society"the support network is so much more real and heartfelt than in vanilla.In many ways this community are more honest,open and caring than vanilla,less hurt and damaged emotions because of that honesty.Yes sadly there are like any othercommunity the "dickheads"shall we say but most are actually much nicer people,more understanding than those in the "real" world.
Vandalslut Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 Think you hit the nail on the head, Donnykinkster - we are a smaller community and hence have a stronger tendency to support and protect the 'tribe'. There's a great deal less ego-driven judgement in here. There's room for everyone's kinks, no matter what your personal preferences may be, as long as they're within the law.
Deleted Member Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 When I lived vanilla and went in a date I used to get so so nervous,now when I meet another from this world there are no nerves just pure excitement and confidence.As you say it's because straight from the off we share a secret bond and there is much less judgment on what you wear,do for a living,how much we earn etc that most in vanilla judge others on,those things matter much less.
Vandalslut Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 11 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said: When I lived vanilla and went in a date I used to get so so nervous,now when I meet another from this world there are no nerves just pure excitement and confidence.As you say it's because straight from the off we share a secret bond and there is much less judgment on what you wear,do for a living,how much we earn etc that most in vanilla judge others on,those things matter much less. Too right!
BigPolly Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: my initial aim was to find local play partners; but now - I just quite like the community aspect : I funnily enough haven't met anyone (socially or otherwise) via this site but I do so imagine this will happen in the future. But I think there's stuff I've contributed that others have benefitted from and likewise; a lot of stories and posts I read enrich my knowledge. Exactly this! I’ve been asked twice in a month why I come here if I have very little interest in currently finding new play partners or not willing to compromise in what I want but I find this site more of a community site rather than a dating site. Hence why I feel so upset about it going to pot since the app has been up & running.
Deleted Member Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 I use it as a distraction when I have few moments, my work is not sociable work hours type and sometime I could chat here with funny people and talk about stuffs I cant talk in vanilla world. I have met 3 subs on this site but I find it very small site and unfortunately always the same kinksters posting or using the forum. I wish it was more vibrant and busy.
ey**** Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 4 hours ago, BigPolly said: Exactly this! I’ve been asked twice in a month why I come here if I have very little interest in currently finding new play partners or not willing to compromise in what I want but I find this site more of a community site rather than a dating site. Hence why I feel so upset about it going to pot since the app has been up & running. yep - I'm not sure if I'm looking or not at the moment. I'm unsure what time I have to offer for anything above occasional casual play - but see what happens. That doesn't mean, for example, that there aren't people on this site I'd love to meet to some capacity (whether that is 'play' or beer and a hug) but yep, my own things have changed a little. Re: the app. I share your frustration but I'm remaining optimistic these are teething issues that will be resolved.
Wisconsinguy Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 Honestly , I am not open about my fetishes publicly and i feel very alone. When i come on here i feel like there are others like myself and it helps me
Wo**** Posted February 2, 2020 Author Posted February 2, 2020 6 hours ago, BigPolly said: Exactly this! I’ve been asked twice in a month why I come here if I have very little interest in currently finding new play partners or not willing to compromise in what I want but I find this site more of a community site rather than a dating site. Hence why I feel so upset about it going to pot since the app has been up & running. Finding new play partners is way down on my list. It's more about making friends, having a voice somewhere, learning stuff, discovering things. I've met a few from here socially and played with a couple of them but they naturally progressed to that stage. I love it here because no one judges. I belong to, and post on, a Christian forum. (Probably not for much longer) I posted about kink once on there... oh my! You'd think the sky had fallen in! Yet here... nothing but support and discussion. Ironic that i get the most non judgemental, sound advice from the very people i'm being told to avoid, huh?
qu**** Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 That's the same as all other dating sites, all tend to be judgemental, in the order of, 1, photos, no doubt about it if they don't like the photo they look no further at you, 2.income, more and more sites insist on you having to fill this, results overall as no.1, 3.living alone, if you don't for whatever reason in reason as no's.1&2, 4.they all say wanting honesty, trust, caring etc, but unless you fulfill no's 1-3 they're not interested. The other problem on dating sites is the fact that a lot of a certain type of women still think they look like they did 20 years ago, and after getting their trophy lifestyle (kids, house, car, holidays etc) close their legs, then wonder why their husband's leave them,and these are the ones who insist on no's.1-4. And here, whilst it's not a dating site as such these requirements don't really appear, all are accepted for who they are, and if tastes match all well and good, and if not, they still show an interest, and try to help where they can
Mo**** Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 I originally came here to find information and I have found it very useful for that, I've also started to makes some friends on here, which has been wonderful as I am not a confident person. Having been on various forums for different things over the years, this is definitely one of the friendliest ones 🙂
Wo**** Posted February 2, 2020 Author Posted February 2, 2020 28 minutes ago, Morganna said: I originally came here to find information and I have found it very useful for that, I've also started to makes some friends on here, which has been wonderful as I am not a confident person. You will be... You are, you just don't quite believe it yet x
Mo**** Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 10 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said: You will be... You are, you just don't quite believe it yet x Thanks, I know I'm getting there and much better than I was x
Th**** Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 Just trying to learn more about myself. Finding people with similar tastes and getting a solid hold on where i fit in as far as kink goes. Maybe make a few friends along the way. See a boob or two. Lol
Deleted Member Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 I've met a few folks that I consider friends on here. I'm not looking specifically for anything other than information and an opportunity to learn from and interact with like minded people. I came here looking for a Dom. What I have found is a forum where others share their thoughts and by simply reading the posts, I feel far more "normal" and comfortable in my own skin. It's so nice to simply have exposure to other folks who don't think kink is "extreme behaviour".
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