So how did you get better as a Dom?

[jS****]

“…you’ll get the best answers from yourself…With a work of self-knowledge to establish your particular role” -dude wtf does any of this even mean?! And if he’s reaching out, clearly he won’t get the best answers from himself, so….what?

[mL****]

For me, most of what I've learned and what I know really came from just talking to interesting people that were into similar things as me. Of course things like stories online, toy shops or just porn can make it possible to learn about a lot more things if you can invest some time into it but ultimately you'll have to figure out what kind of dom/switch/sub you are and that'll work best with talking to similar people. And no, you don't have to be aggressive or have a dominant personality at all to be a good Dom. I for example kind of assumed for a while that because my personality doesn't match my sexuality at all, I can't be a good Dom but there's so many ways you can be sexually dominant. You'll eventually find yours, just don't try to fit into any stereotypes too much

[ci****]

My friend... It depends the sub you wanna satisfy! There's not a rule :)
Just be smart, emphatic and mind-blowing for your partner and see if it works!

[Th****]

Aggressive and dominant are not the same. In fact, I view those that think they you have to be aggressive to be in control are extremely unsafe people to play with.

You learn how to be a dominant the same as you do anything else. You find classes (whether they are online or in person). You talk to others and learn from their wisdom. You make sure you know what you are doing before trying anything with another person. This lifestyle isn't all fun and games. It can be dangerous if you don't take your time and learn what you are doing; and how to do it safely.

[The_Rev_]

Well said, TheMacabreBrat, agree 100%

[Ve****]

Dear JayRuss, let me invite you define your dominance with your personality, style, strengths and goals. Don’t let those aggressive dins define the role. You might find they overrate themselves and are less desiring then of your dreams.

[Ki****]

Nothing beats learning from watching and listening to real people running workshops and offering advice at kink events. Sign up to FetLife. Look for local munches and classes. Go along and meet people and really listen to the advice they offer. If you show yourself to be trustworthy and respectful, they might just invite you to try things out with guidance. You don’t need to be naturally aggressive to be a Dom. There are many different types and styles of domination.

[The_Rev_]

Excellent