Pronouns...should they matter?

[ja****]

oh my god this reads so horrendously uninformed.

You cannot extend your own experience of gender to every trans person in existence. there are so many different gender labels coined (far more than 18) because some people like to have very specific labels, and that’s okay. The views you seem to have on gender are the exact same as those that modern conservatives use to argue against trans people with the smallest modicum of a spectrum veneer applied. Someone may not like they/them, he/him, or she/her and go by it/its or 🔥/🔥s or star/stars or any other set of pronouns online or offline and that’s okay, it’s what makes them happy. Someone may feel fine identifying with just “female” or “male” as a gender but at the same time someone else may want to identify with something like “neogirl” (me), “anontrinary”, or any number of xenogenders, and that’s okay too. It’s what they feel describes them the best. Gender is solely a construct that is shaped by the society you live in. It is not intrinsic in any way, shape, or form. Therefore you can make what you want of it no matter how “out there” it may seem.

“Everything in this universe is polarized” no it’s not? We do not exist solely to counter something else. We are made of a mess of particles and reflect it in our own ways.

There is so much more I could say but my overall message is this:

Would you rather people be flourishing as themselves or withering away in a depressed state of artificial conformity?

[RyanGlen]

Simple answer is, No. They shouldn't matter, but they do.

But longer now, I personally believe that the terms sex and gender have been mixed up.
To me, sex is your biological reproduction system.
Gender is a social construct.

So if we were to ask someone's sex, there are only 2 answers, male and female. With the exception of genetic abnormalities.

Gender being a social construct is alot more difficult, because it's defined by society. And with the globalisation are society is forever expanding and changing.

Gender is a learnt behaviour, we learn about masculinity and femininity from our primary care givers, parents, siblings. grandparents.

At around the age of 5 we recognise our position as masc or fem, and then discover the opposite. This is most often happening at School.

By the time puberty hits, we are mostly set on our sex and gender. Introducing sexuality. Both gender and sex influence this.

An example from my experience would be a male growing up with their primary care givers predominantly female, and they're sexuality being gay. Seeing mum, ***s, ect interested in males influenced his development.

So it's a 3 leg stool, each are important and if there is a focus one over the others it becomes unstable.

So, this is what has happened in society, people are focusing on one aspect of this, gender. Which is making it unstable. So i personal believe that if we got rid of all gender related tags, we would get along alot easier, but that's me focusing on onenover the others.

It's not a simple discussion, and can easily be misunderstood but im essential saying just be nice to everyone and accept them for who they want to be. It doesn't hurt you to use pronouns they they request. Also on the flip side of this unintentionally mis-gendering or using a dead name isn't an attack on you, it's a mistake. Inform them discreetly, don't make it a drama.
If someone continues to mis-label you, they are a dick and don't deserve any discretion call them out haha.

I had an argument and ended up deleting someone from my socials.
I knew them as a different name in school, 15+ years later we don't talk but I had them on socials. I saw a post by them saying basically if anyone calls them by their dead name they will be ignored. I proposed a scenario of me walking along the street 15+ yeas after school and seeing them and calling them by the name I knew them as, and they went shit crazy at me. Saying that they would ignore me, and I was arguing the point of, just update me on your new name. But they weren't getting it. They wanted the world to bend before them, without informing the world.

That example happens to often and that is just as big of an issue as the people that misgender use dead names, just to be spiteful.

It's not hurting anyone to follow what I want to be called. So what im saying is whatever side of this you are on, just be nice.

[la****]

Who we are, starts and ends between our ears, not between our legs.

[DickGozinya]

I might get some agitated people from this but... I was taught to give people respect until they show they don't deserve it, then the glove comes off. I have always used sir/ma'am when I talk to strangers. But if someone presents themselves a woman who dresses more masculine and I get to a door a couple steps ahead. Open the door and say "go ahead ma'am." If they are chill about it and say "I am trans can you refer to me as he/him." Then I would because I have no reason not to. If they have a meltdown, then I will probably say "F you, ma'am" and walk in first.

Unfortunately the loudest people with mental issues on BOTH sides people view as representing the whole.

[4R****]

More than 2000 years we have been on this earth and only for the past 20 have pronouns mattered. 
 

I’m a strong believer in live and let live, you do you etc, but where I’m having to deal with complaints in the workplace of ‘mis-gendering’ because someone referred to a work colleague as “he or she” instead of “they or it” - well then things are going too far.

I’m male, I have a masculine name, I dress as a man and look like a man and sound like a man. However, my employer has insisted that I put He/Him after my name on any emails, letters and on my profile on the company intranet, which has my photo on it! - I’m being made to comply with this whole pronoun issue - because the company are worried I might offend someone who identifies as a tractor.

However did we manage without pronouns for the previous 2000 years? 

 

 

[FETMOD-BD]

I think this topic has run its course so I’m locking it before it gets out of hand.