Do I give up on BDSM

[Do****]

I'm struggling to find what I call my holy grail in life and I'm thinking maybe it's not via kink as nobody seems to want or like my way of thinking in life so do I give up and try a new way of getting the kicks I need and want.

[Sc****]

What is your holy grail?

[ja****]

I mean you might not find the perfect person to match your inner fantasy, you might be setting yourself up for failure if you limit yourself to one specific thing rather then allowing yourself to explore other options

[Oldbutgood]

Without knowing exactly what you're looking for it's hard to tell I mean if it is so extreme and rare as to be almost impossible then you may have to compromise a little bit and find something else. If it is not super extreme Jen hold out for the right person. If you don't you'll just be unhappy anyway.

[ey****]

To give up....

It depends on what you're looking for and how realistic it is.   And... no matter how realistic... a question of - what do YOU have to do to get there?

That most kinda 'end scenarios' arrive after time and work in a relationship, you don't just pick someone off the shelf ready.  

[ge****]

Perhaps rather than giving up find other ways to play the game?
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If, for example, you're spending your time on sites like this, fruitlessly messaging potential people to fulfil your kink, and nothing else, then step out there into the world of Munches and kink events - whilst I was never "bothered" about chasing potentials on sites like this, a year ago I started attending a local Munch and since then not only has my circle of "kink friends" grown massively but it has led me to attending clubs etc and finding avenues to explore my kink further.
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If you cannot step out there and are insistent on delving the on-line world, look at ways you can change that - re-write your profile, get involved in forums and chat rooms, all of which are potential ways to increase your visibility and interact with others.
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The key to finding your desires is within your hands and control, you just have to find one that works for you.

[Ma****]

Pretty much what everyone has said above.
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Off hand it seems like your holy grail is just a bit extreme. In which case, it just may never be realized. But not sure why that means you give up on eveything else. 💁🏽‍♂️
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Either way, getting into a relationship (fwb, bf/gf, or even just a D/s relationship) will open up more posabilities.
Rember, especially in BDSM/kink, some level of trust needs to be established, before things happen, for the vast majority of people (yes there is always an exception, but they are sooo rare). And the deeper the trust, the more a partner is likely to go farther/kinkier with you.
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But all of that starts, as some have commented above, by building your social skills, by being out there meeting people in real life, and practice, practice, practice being interested in people. You will never be able to just "turn it on" when you see that cute woman you really want to go out with. No, man, you need to practice like crazy, long before hand.
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Practice being interested and flirting with everyone. The old man in line, the grocery checkout woman, the person across from you at the gas pump.
When you are able to strike up an effortlessly conversation with them, you will then be ready to talk to the "hot girl."
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Then you have a chance at going out, at building trust, at starting a relationship, at expirimenting with things you've taken classes for and can do with confidence, at building and establishing more trust for kinkier things because you have built a record of trust and safty. And so on.

[De****]

Finding someone that you clique well with takes time. It can’t be rushed, but it will be worth the wait. I agree that going to munches and irl events would be a good time. I also read your profile, maybe update it more to discuss what kind of things you like. All I can tell from your profile is that you are looking for a submissive. Best of luck.

[Ne****]

What about … changing Your Thinking? If “everyone” disagrees and dislikes the way you think “in life” (vague) perhaps it’s because said thinking [perception? errant desire? criminalistic? dangerous? unrealistic? …] itself is in need of adjustment? 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

And Or it is like other commenters have iterated. ☮️

[ca****]

Quite a vague question / post!   And as such the answers are in your own words.....  'carry on struggling..' or 'try a new way'....  the crux is are you prepared to do either.

 

Without knowing any other detail -i find any other response is kinda 'stabbing in the dark'....