Frustration as a dom-leaning switch...

[Ri****]

Can anyone empathize with the mental struggles of trying to balance exploration of a typically submissive kink but the dom in yourself won't let you?? e.g. stocking/foot worship.

[Sc****]

The eternal struggle. For me, acknowledgement, but not indulgent, works. To pretend it's not there would be dishonest. All men and women have shadows of the opposite sex within themselves. I take the position that indulging that urge steals energy from the masculine.

However, the caveat: if it's something that can be selfishly indulged, not in a submissive or subservient way, then you retain you masculinity because you are indulging what YOU want without exchanging anything for it.

[Mehari]

I find it's all in the way I look at things. Sometimes I turn pleasure into *** and I also will look at myself as a Maestro using the tools at my disposal to elicit a symphony of sounds from my submissive, including those of pleasure.

[My****]

My outlooking advice might be useless here but I would only consider what it is you enjoy about being a Dom and what it's going to feel like to relinquish that power to somebody who may or may not take advantage of that power and as a submissive you will do as home so I I just can't wrap my mind around that to be honest

[Sc****]

40 minutes ago, Mehari said:

I find it's all in the way I look at things. Sometimes I turn pleasure into *** and I also will look at myself as a Maestro using the tools at my disposal to elicit a symphony of sounds from my submissive, including those of pleasure.

I like how you worded that...symphony of sounds, pleasure and ***

[My****]

Outlook and advice

[Sc****]

Just now, Mytunghurts said:

My outlooking advice might be useless here but I would only consider what it is you enjoy about being a Dom and what it's going to feel like to relinquish that power to somebody who may or may not take advantage of that power and as a submissive you will do as home so I I just can't wrap my mind around that to be honest

That's a good point. If you feel like you are submitting, then you are.

[Ri****]

3 hours ago, Mehari said:

I find it's all in the way I look at things. Sometimes I turn pleasure into *** and I also will look at myself as a Maestro using the tools at my disposal to elicit a symphony of sounds from my submissive, including those of pleasure.

I hadn't considered the possibility of "framing the thoughts/feelings" in a different way... aaaannnddd also ScalpelPrecision's take on selfishly indulgence in the thing can change the perception of the act/behavior... going to have to change my thought process and do some serious exploration and processing... I feel like this could open up another level of kink for me! Thank you all for sharing

[ey****]

A lot is in how we frame things

Firstly, if you compartmentalise things into being "Dominant" and "submissive" then there's bits you automatically exclude yourself from, even if it's something you want to enjoy

The second is... any deemed submissive act can be a Dominant act (and, arguably, vice versa) 

Like, I dunno - how do you like feet? Clean? Sweaty? Dirty? In stockings all day?   Give subs tasks around this to prepare for how you would like to enjoy them later.