How do you build a 24/7 agreement ?

[Deleted Member]

Total Power Exchange relationships, or TPE relationships, are sometimes seen as the ultimate goal in a BDSM lifestyle.
How do you interact in an Ultimate 24/7 Total Power Exchange Relationship ?
What is important and what are the guidelines and rules for you ?
Happy to hear some good answers.
King regards Night

[my****]

Obviously every relationship is different. For me, I want someone I can laugh with, debate with, work side by side with but if I change my tone of voice the girl snaps into submission. I insist on a check in time following play the next day. Different than aftercare, where we can discuss the events incase there was something the girl didn’t like in the light of day. Even if there is something she would like more of, it’s the only “timeout” she is allowed other than safewords. Not every girl can switch in and out that easily, it takes the right fit.

[Fr****]

1 hour ago, mythicalman said:

Obviously every relationship is different. For me, I want someone I can laugh with, debate with, work side by side with but if I change my tone of voice the girl snaps into submission. I insist on a check in time following play the next day. Different than aftercare, where we can discuss the events incase there was something the girl didn’t like in the light of day. Even if there is something she would like more of, it’s the only “timeout” she is allowed other than safewords. Not every girl can switch in and out that easily, it takes the right fit.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I also practice this whether living together or not, because of whatever reasons as per start and where the dynamic has led. In my practice, i find it beneficial when discussing a TPE dynamic that they are involved in a form of contract creation. This is like things that you expect of each other, limits and what can be pushed, consent clauses for everything including ones ou can keep with you if any scene gets interuppted for whatever reason. This gives them a sense of safety, and you have a sense of security knowing they can reference this when needed as well as that she understands and you understand the details of your dynamic. I like to also have an interactive list of things that they were given as tasks so they can complete them, get a reward out of it as well as it's like a game for them so it add excitement. I also give the flip side some sort of interactive way they can tell you they are having issues without even being verbal. Things happen. We break down and can't speak sometimes on both dom and sub side. Both can experience drops in mindset. I very much like to instill a regiment they agree, and we have discussed that works for them. Every dynamic is different, and nothing will ever be the same, but there can be a certain set of standards we can consider universal. Especially in this type of dynamic, one important thing to me is establishing that foundation with your sub that no matter how harsh or upsetting something may seem. I can not help or change something within the dynamic if we can't sit down in a safe space and speak about it. It can be difficult sometimes. As a community, it's nights to see posts like this where we can come together and share ideals or thoughts. Have a wonderful day..and happy hunting.

[cl****]

AMEN

[De****]

I’m not sure that they are the ultimate goal for everyone involved in BDSM. However, I suggest it is build slowly and carefully. You should communicate constantly and slowly add in more requirements. It’s also important for a submissive to feel comfortable discussing their limits. Additionally, the Dom needs to truly understand their submissive and what they need. So my advice is take it slow.

[ey****]

they often feel like they might be an ultimate goal; but in reality some people think they have to - when it doesn't work for everyone.

And what often DOES work for more people is finding out what 24/7 means *for them* (and if it's even right for their relationship)

Things are... a day at a time... and it's important for frequent check ins that both are happy with where the relationship is, and where it is heading.

(incidentally, I'm aware of many people who *say* their relationships are 24/7 - but some of that is a facade) 

[Ka****]

As said above, take it slow. Communicate and figure out as you go. 24/7 looks different for everyone.
Live-in or distance?
I am in a distant 24/7 dynamic, which makes things a bit different. I ask for permission on certain things, but my everyday life (work and such) is "controlled" by myself.
We have a contract which helps a lot!
Seek advice from others in the same type of dynamic, but don't let them tell you what YOU are doing / experiencing or wrong or less.