Workplace predicament

[ji****]

So I was on FetLife today and on my feed I noticed a photo with a girl who had very familiar tattoos. I clicked on the profile and I was following them and after browsing through their profile I realised it was a girl I worked with. Anyone got any ideas on how I should proceed? To make matters worse, I've been following her for some time and never realised it was her and also we talk all the time. Never about sexual stuff. We also have very similar kinks. I really don't know what to do.

[Mr****]

Just say hey I saw you on Fet how ironic we have a similar tattoo

[No****]

That is a really good way of handling it I think. Keep it low key

[Wh****]

She could be respecting discretion. Not everyone is out with their kink life. Also, she may not realize it yet. Either way, I say maintain discretion until the opportunity presents itself.

[Ar****]

When you say you talk all the time, do you mean at work or on FL?

Would she already be aware of who you are from your FL profile or not?

[Do****]

Now, maybe it's just me... but I'd slowly reveal the fact that you may know each other in rw on Fetlife. I'd say you MAY, because she may not want to continue it. This way, she won't feel weirded out at work. If she's open to it, then you could tell her online. I don't know that I'd approach her in rw, because she may not want others at work knowing.

[Ta****]

10 minutes ago, Domsolo said:

Now, maybe it's just me... but I'd slowly reveal the fact that you may know each other in rw on Fetlife. I'd say you MAY, because she may not want to continue it. This way, she won't feel weirded out at work. If she's open to it, then you could tell her online. I don't know that I'd approach her in rw, because she may not want others at work knowing.

This. Definitely don’t break discretion in the workplace. Could have some very undesirable consequences. As others have stated, she might already know, she might not. But why “proceed” at all? Doesn’t sound like you’re head over heels for her, are you? Like are your conversations about kink life in general or is there a mutual interest? If it’s just casual and friendly, don’t mess with it, especially not irl.

[BigPoppaD]

I'm a supervisor at my job. I cleared all of my social media before I started at this plant. Forgot about FL. A brat found me. One day she said my screen name to me, then said "I don't want my life out here either." And gave me the shhhh! Finger.

Now I say Brat cause I don't know how many times when I've had to get strict with a group, she steps back and mouths "yes Daddy". 😂😂

[Pr****]

Do not talk to her at work. If you cross paths at a munch or something cool. The only way remotely ok if she brings up fet. You dont want to make her feel uncomfortable and due to the nature of what it is could get you in alot of trouble at work. Best is hope it comes up naturally. Dont be a creep.

[ItsSusan]

This happen with me…. recognise colleague on site and he recognise near same time.

We laugh lot and was ok. Now we can chat about real life each other so I say you not worry.

[Ne****]

Similar to when I see family members on dating sites: just keep scrolling and say nothing Until and Unless it is brought up in a safe setting.

[Th****]

Think of this lifestyle like fight club.  Ignore and move on. It helps prevent any issues.

Block if you feel uncomfortable.

[ge****]

This crops up more often than you think - my advice would be to say and do nothing, either in person or on FL - because to reveal things could make things very awkward, and her uncomfortable in your work environment.
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Now it may depend how close you are of course, but even so I'd recommend extreme caution if you are close - as revealing something like this could alter the balance of that.
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About the only thing you *can* do is try and forget what you've seen and *only* take things further should she present an undeniable opportunity for them to be raised.

[ji****]

Thanks guys this has helped, she is quite open tbh to talk about stuff but we haven't had many sexual conversations. I'll see where it goes she's on about leaving so maybe the dynamic will change wants she leaves ill see if an opportunity occurs but I'll respect discretion

[Ma****]

Or you could upload a pic that is obviously you, and then after that comme t on one of her photos. But dont comme t on the obvious.
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Say you like the lighting, or thought a pise looked challenging, and your impressed with flexability ti do that, or anything other than something stupid like, "wow your so hot."
Find something you genuinely think is great about her pic, other.than she is.naked or very nearly so.
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See how/if she responds. Few days later, maybe comment on another.

[ge****]

2 hours ago, jimbouk92 said:

Thanks guys this has helped, she is quite open tbh to talk about stuff but we haven't had many sexual conversations. I'll see where it goes she's on about leaving so maybe the dynamic will change wants she leaves ill see if an opportunity occurs but I'll respect discretion

To be honest even if she leaves the company I'd still tread very carefully - not everyone is open or comfortable about being "outed" on sites like that even if it were just between you.

[Cu****]

The code of conduct on this site, and behavioural recommendations in other kink educational matters elsewhere, says, “ The number one rule of being a kinkster, whether in your local or online community - we don’t out each other. When you come across a kinky person in a vanilla setting, don’t mention their kink unless they do. You never know what someone could lose by having their kinky ways outed.”
So, you wait for her to make a comment to you, and if she doesn’t, you don’t take liberties, as many others have said here.