How to aproach/talk to people at a kinky party

[Va****]

I have troubles approaching woman on kinky partys. expacially if I want to play with them. I feel I become to shy to talk to someone I like. So instead of talking to anyone I end up dancing for 80% of the time sometimes trying to dance unto someone ( with proper distance and respect) trying to see whether she has an interested in me too. Dodnt get me wrong I LOVE dancing and people notice that. But often this resulted in me not having any success or just with one person and me dancing a lot.And if I get myself up to aproach someone all I litrally start with "hey would you like to be tied up by me?" often not getting thw kinda response i am hoping for. ( I would also be kindahappy with " no but we can chat a bit"). thats not the experience I wish for myself on these kinda Partys so I would be grateful for tips and suggestions on how to aproach someone respectfully and without making them feel uncomfortable.
thanks in advents and a haopy 4. advent :)

Val

[Pe****]

Eye contact, just smile and say “hi” as an opener. Leave the door open if they’re interested. It’s low-key but full-on isn’t always best.

[Ci****]

I'm also pretty shy, a teddy bear in most social situations until I get consent and get turned on then my dominant side comes out. Idk that id have any more luck then you at such an event but I definitely wouldn't jump the gun and ask someone if I could tie them up. Maybe "hey I couldn't help but notice you and I was hoping we could chat so we can get to know one another" then you know...chat. try to learn about the person and their kinks. I mean you know they are in the scene but peiple need to know they can trust you before they let you tie them up lol

[Di****]

I’d possibly open with a slightly more casual conversation than tying them up haha 😛 At that sort of party everyone in there for the same reason, so maybe have a light hearted chat to break the ice and then move on to kinkier things if you get along.

[Cu****]

I would have thought that it’s not a sensible idea to ask someone, straight out of the blue, if you could tie them up, even if it’s a kinky party. These are people you don’t know, never met before, and more importantly, they don’t know you either. Why do you think that such a pointed question, doesn’t get you the result that you want? How do they know you? Where’s the trust? The small talk of getting to know someone and general communicating first? Going from zero to wanting to tie someone up, is one heck of a steep learning curve. Why do you want to tie them up? Why not ask what they like experiencing, and making that the topic of conversation? Make them realise that you are interested in them, otherwise your approach is very selfish. Don’t make it about you and what you want to do. Do you have other ways of helping someone experience their interests, other than just wanting to tie someone up? Your question would make anyone uncomfortable, and you answer your own question, “no, but we can chat a bit”. That chat, begins to breakdown the wall between you and the person you have an interest in. Listen to what they’re talking about. Find out what they like experiencing. Chat, is important…and so is listening to others.

[Je****]

So don’t. Advertise instead. Wear a custom tee-shirt with something on it that says what you are about or a collar. More often than not someone will compliment you as an opener.

[lo****]

I've only been to one party a I found myself feeling the same alot of the timei was in the smoking area on my Vape but after a while I just kind of let my guard down and asked ppl at the party about there experiences and it open more ppl join the convo and I was able to get a better fell so I would try something 'hi I'm ____ and im pretty new to this and don't wanna be forward but I find u really attractive" and go from there, that u show interest and cover ur back if u mess up a lil

[TJ****]

Some great suggestions! Also... Practice in the mirror "Hi I'm ____. I think you're cute. Want to chat a while?" Makes your Interest known while giving them a graceful out if they don't feel the same.

One more suggestion since it lines up with your strength: Ask someone if they want to dance with you as an opener and see if there is real chemistry between you on the dancefloor and then take a break and see where conversation leads.

[Cu****]

Just as a further thought to help you, because no one really knows each other at a party (unless they’ve met previously), how would you feel if a female came up to you at the party and told you (not asked) that they wanted to peg you? And they produced a dildo and began to strap it to their body? If this kind of scene was completely outside of your experience, wouldn’t you want to say “no, but we can chat for a bit”? Perhaps this helps you to understand why your request of wanting to tie someone up, that you’ve never met before, is received with reticence. 

[bi****]

My advice is simple: take the "no but we can chat a bit" as if it were already said, and then chat to them like they're just another normal kinster (hmm) at a social event. Maybe, from that you'll find some who are into the same things as you, and you can progress it further. Coming at things from a "hey, kink" approach is never right. Come at it from a "hey, person" instead.