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Overbearing Doms..


Al****

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Posted
9 hours ago, MossyBoy said:

An example of the above statement is, about 6 years ago in the state of New South Wales in Australia, a group of 2 men and 1 woman had a drunken sex party on a beach.  The men did the well *** girl over really well with anal sex and fisting.  She was in no way, able to consent to what was happening.  A long story short, she began to bleed internally from the fisting, and eventually bled to death.  The men concerned panicked and tried to dispose of the body.  That failed, and when eventually discovered the Police were called.  An investigation found these cretins, prosecuted them, and now they are both serving prison sentences.

Yes, I remember that...

cautiousswitch
Posted

Three reasons:

1 - It's a title.  Someone who is active in their local community and well respected by the community will have earned the title master or mistress (or princess, goddess, etc.) out of recognition.  Just because someone introduces himself as Master Bob doesn't necessarily mean he expects you to submit to him.

2 - It's role play.  Read the business sites of professional dom/mes.  They take on an air of superiority because it's expected of them.  Some of them may carry this over into their social/munch life.

Either one of those can be seen as them trying to control the person they are talking to.  Both of them can be mistaken for what you are seeing.  On the other hand there is:

3 - As has been stated by many before me, these aren't real dominants or don't fully understand what a dominant is. 

From what I have seen, men do not understand how to be a dominant as well as women.  I have, however, met a  few women who are just as bad at making these assumptions as men.

Posted

Because they're desperate and have to resort to claiming anything they want because they don't know how to be respectful yet dominant at the same time. Some people just don't get how having a little is not just kinky shit.

Posted

Something else that should be noted is, until there is a commitment, we are all just like minded people sharing a common interest.  Yes I am a Dom, but I do not introduce myself as that, I have a first name, and that is how I expect to be talked to.  Should whoever I am talking to, ever decide that I might be what they are looking for in their life, then the dynamic changes, or if they would feel more comfortable calling me Sir, then so be it, that is their choice not mine.

An example of the above situation I served 39 years in the Army, and as you can guess, it was heavy on formality, so I was called by my rank or position.  As some of my subordinates became more comfortable working with or for me, they started to use my first name when in an informal situation.  I didn't bark orders at them to call me sir (which was my working title for my rank), and they knew, out of respect, when to be official and when to be casual.  This is just the reverse situation of this kinky life.

ANYONE who needs to be called by a certain name during normal conversation, has labels of grandeur about them, and to me, they use that title as some sort of badge to hide behind. 

Posted

Often they are people who lack skills or confidence in social interaction, so they fall back on the role to facilitate communication. I'm not saying that makes it OK but sometimes they can be interesting human beings when you get to know them a little better. I take pleasure in teasing them out and finding out who they really are.... drawing them out of the role they're hiding behind. 

And sometimes it works the other way round. As a Domme, I try to get to know a sub that I'm interested in outside of the D/s role, but a lot of male subs go so far into the role play that you can't find who they are as a person. It's tedious when someone is like this. You have to build some sort of foundation relationship to have a genuine connection with the person. That's not going to happen if they just say Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am, all the time. 

 

Posted

Alot of times the terms "power and control" and "submissive and slave" are used improperly. A submissive controls the limits by stating what they are okay with and what they aren't. Dom's have the power to do anything within those set limits. A slave obeys anything and everything the master wants. And some people are into that, and that's fine. But realize not all subs are slaves

Posted

There are also a lot of fakers out there who use the terms because they think itll give them a higher chance to get laid.

Posted

Well without examples who knows. You might be over sensitive

Posted

I am a dom and i could not agree more, truat is a huge part of sex, its why we have safe words and stuff like that

Posted

Talking to a submissive is about learning about them, not about what you (the Dom) thinks their response should be. You earn a submissive's trust and you earn the title of being a Dominant. It is not a given in any relationship.

Posted

There are lots of Doms like this. Who try to take on the role without knowing anything about the Sub/Little. Ive had this happen a lot. Usually people pm me because of my username but then they just try to act like their my Dom. Those kinds of people are not my favorite

Posted

My favorite are the ones that say hi how are you? Send nudes lol. They think that, because I'm a sub, and they say they are a dom, then I have to send pics immediately.

Posted

It is an issue. Especially when some guys use BDSM as an excuse to be abusive assholes.

Posted
On 3/7/2020 at 7:41 AM, keri78 said:

My favorite are the ones that say hi how are you? Send nudes lol. They think that, because I'm a sub, and they say they are a dom, then I have to send pics immediately.

Nah girl, you definitely don't.  I am a Dom, and if I want photos, then they will be normal everyday types.  That way I get to see the colours that suit you, the styles of the clothes you like to wear in everyday settings.  If you want to send me nudes, then that is entirely up to you.  Your bits are the same as every other girls bits, just the same as my dangly bits are the same as every other guys bits.  It is only the size or colour, or perhaps foreskin that are diffenent.  I have never asked for nudes, swimsuit or underwear - yes, but that goes back to what I have already said.  If I have bothered to write to you personally, then it is because I have a genuine interest in you and want to see the girl, her face and eyes, a glimpse into your personality, intelligence and humour.  Don't let some pretend dom (notice small letters) or the Rogues and Sharks *** you into anything.  Real Doms don't have to prove anything.  

Posted

As I'm new to the community, and dont even know what I really want in a relationship, this is pretty troubling to hear. But I definitely will be on the lookout now that I know. Thanks for the heads up.

Stay safe, everyone!! :]

Posted
7 hours ago, left-2-write said:

As I'm new to the community, and dont even know what I really want in a relationship, this is pretty troubling to hear. But I definitely will be on the lookout now that I know. Thanks for the heads up.

Stay safe, everyone!! :]

Mate you say your new, and you really don't know what it is you want.  That is a standard statement MOST have used at least once in their journey into kink, and I should add NOTHING to be ashamed of.  Here is a hint, CHAT with people, we are all like minded and have the same interest.  For you, you don't know the intricacies YET.  There are all types coming to this lifestyle, and so long as your coming for the right reason, NOT that 50 shades of crap stuff, then there are people who will advise and guide, BUT you need to be honest with them, and OPEN, and be prepared to discuss without embarrassment.  I don't have all the answers, no one really does because we each have our own peculiar interests, and each relationship dynamic is different, but if you want to chat, you can hit me up.  I don't know where you are but it is unlikely that we will ever meet if your outside Australia. 

Posted
Quote

➦MossyBoy quote left-2-write:❝As I'm new to the community, and dont even know what I really want in a relationship, this is pretty troubling to hear. But I definitely will be on the lookout now that I know. Thanks for the heads up.
Stay safe, everyone!! :]❞
Mate you say your new, and you really don't know what it is you want. That is a standard statement MOST have used at least once in their journey into kink, and I should add NOTHING to be ashamed of. Here is a hint, CHAT with people, we are all like minded and have the same interest. For you, you don't know the intricacies YET. There are all types coming to this lifestyle, and so long as your coming for the right reason, NOT that 50 shades of crap stuff, then there are people who will advise and guide, BUT you need to be honest with them, and OPEN, and be prepared to discuss without embarrassment. I don't have all the answers, no one really does because we each have our own peculiar interests, and each relationship dynamic is different, but if you want to chat, you can hit me up. I don't know where you are but it is unlikely that we will ever meet if your outside Australia.



Thank you so much for the encouraging words and advice! I have been nervous about interacting with the community due to my social anxiety, so I really appreciate it, my friend!! I live in the US, so I dont think a meet up is possible, but thanks for the offer! Have a wonderful night!

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