Should a male sub pay for everything?

February 10

We have all experienced or heard about people calling themselves Doms and not even know what the term means. Findom is flooded with such Doms making the kink extremely unsafe and virtually non-existent in the form of an actual kink. This is in part, why I really do not want to call it a kink. There rarely are any contracts stating what a findom Dom may or may not do to their subs, and what limits they may not exceed, if any.

February 10

Thanks for those of you making comments that I personally don't understand BDSM kinks or that I don't know that my own personal experience of a kink can be extrapolated in some way to give a good understanding of the kink; I know that is not true. However my experiences with findom are probably typical of what happens in "actual" findom. Please try to attack the arguments and not the person making the arguments.

February 10

Ah, yes, the noble crusade against findom—because out of all the things in the world, consenting adults spending their own *** in ways you disapprove of is clearly the greatest evil of our time. Bravo.

Let’s break this down:

Diminished capacity—sure, some people can’t give consent. That’s true in every kink and in every financial transaction. But unless you’re also advocating for a ban on gambling, luxury shopping, and subscription services that no one remembers signing up for, this argument isn’t the knockout punch you think it is.

"Findom is a scam"—right, and yet somehow, the people handing over their *** keep coming back for more. Either they enjoy it (which makes it a kink), or you’ve uncovered the world's least effective long con—one where the "marks" voluntarily throw *** at their "scammers" while grinning like a kid in a sweet shop.

"Too much power corrupts"—fascinating. So, should we also ban bosses, landlords, and anyone who runs a PTA meeting? Or is it just findoms who must be held to a higher moral standard than, say, half of Parliament?

"Findom isn't a real kink"—ah, the classic gatekeeping move. "Real kink" is only what you say it is, right? I assume you have the Official BDSM Rulebook handy? Or does it just so happen to conveniently exclude the kinks you don’t like?

Look, if findom isn't your thing, that’s fine. But standing on a soapbox and declaring that an entire kink is invalid because you personally don’t get it? That’s not a take—it’s just an oddly specific rant that makes me wonder if someone once asked you to pay for their coffee and you never recovered.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we have consenting adults to let enjoy themselves.