sub in therapy

[fr****]

So I wonder what subs should do when in trauma therapy for PTSD and C-PTSD. Should I refrain from BDSM until it’s over? I always get told to talk to the psychologist about my ray of kinks and interests in BDSM. I have the opportunity to ask all the questions I have, but any subs out there who have experience being in therapy and think there’s something I should bring up while I have the chance?

I have a few months left, and my psychologist is very open minded and I asked them how I could possibly ever return to the kinks and BDSM lifestyle after being so traumatised?

How do I proceed? How do I connect back to myself and my needs and wants without re traumatising myself?

I feel blocked by myself, or it’s like a disconnect internally, and as of a few months ago I went from wanting sex to having a hard time to even get aroused even worse, even harder to climax, and it’s the first time in my life this has ever occurred for me.

I suggested a few things to my psychologist, possibly recreating the scene but change the outcome. They thought it might help.

Funny thing is my psychologist asked me for other ideas, and for me to turn and ask others who have been in therapy and in similar situations out there. I told then I hangout on BDSM forums talking to likeminded people so that’s where they got the idea from.

Anyway, I seek advice and guidance.
Thank you for reading! 😊

[Ja****]

***rs are just people who get off on getting away with sh*t. It doesn't matter if they actually gain anything, they're easily amused. ******** and ****** stem from control issues

[Am****]

I’m a male don. I’d tell that man right out right what happened and what your ptsd is like. I would be willing to lesson so slow and try and re teach you that your sad and ok and that not ever man is here to hurt you. Yes talking to professionals first is very smart. But if your into wanting BDSM AND what it trust your new partner. There r not the one that hurt you so give them some trust. Remember being straight forward honest and communicating is the best thing you can do. I may want to know if you say no or have a bad reaction, why you’re having it. More to see thing from your point of veiw. Also make sure the person willing / want to make you get better

[No****]

Hello! I think what you’re going through is happens often enough and I’m hoping the right people see your post and have feedback.

I know for me, when I started therapy and was working through some trauma and triggers, I had a system that a lot of people use in panic and anxiety attack situations. I focus on 3 things in a see, two things I can hear, one thing I can touch. In my experience, it was a lot of trial and error, just going through new situations and coming out the other side “ok” until I realized that not everything will turn into that trauma.

I can see where changing the out come would be helpful. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find something helpful so you can feel your absolute best. Always available to listen if you need.

[hm****]

I don't have any answers or advice unfortunately. Dated someone with CPTSD for years and just wanted to reach out and send you good luck

[pa****]

Is Bdsm the reason your needing help, if yes then stop it whilst seeking help. If its not, does it help with your ptsd.

[Ki****]

Having suffered PTSD, after my military career, I can tell you that the triggers will haunt you for many years.

[Ki****]

I did therapy for almost 2 years and I am in a much better place mentally but still have dreams that haunt me and the morter fireworks create anxiety. I agree with Aman94 that you need to find a Dom that you can trust and slowly work in all your fantasies and kinks at your pace. I would not recommend recreating the trauma scene with a different outcome unless it's an amazing ultimate fantasy that is at the core of your submissive mind. I hope this helps and that your able to return to your erotic/orgasmic self sooner than later.

[fr****]

40 minutes ago, pauld999 said:

Is Bdsm the reason your needing help, if yes then stop it whilst seeking help. If its not, does it help with your ptsd.

It’s not BDSM related, and in fact it does help with my diagnosis. But I’ve noticed a big shift, from BDSM being a kink, now it’s more and becoming a fetish, as in if there no elements of BDSM I can’t get aroused or climax. So that’s why I wonder if I should take a break or not. I seem to need heavier sessions than ever before.

[fr****]

3 hours ago, Novelnorth86 said:

Hello! I think what you’re going through is happens often enough and I’m hoping the right people see your post and have feedback.

I know for me, when I started therapy and was working through some trauma and triggers, I had a system that a lot of people use in panic and anxiety attack situations. I focus on 3 things in a see, two things I can hear, one thing I can touch. In my experience, it was a lot of trial and error, just going through new situations and coming out the other side “ok” until I realized that not everything will turn into that trauma.

I can see where changing the out come would be helpful. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find something helpful so you can feel your absolute best. Always available to listen if you need.

Thank you 🙏

[Lsmart938]

There’s no right or wrong way here and no magic bullet that works for everyone.

I suffer with a form of mental anguish and cycle from wanting sex to hating the thought and having a hard time to get aroused but then feel I want to climax.

Personally I find this site useful and talking and fantasising over some of the posts useful.
I can leave it alone or pick it up and when I want.

I use it for me. Dependent on how I’m feeling.

Sometimes I even walk away from it for days or weeks to have a break but then come back and hammer it. Maybe it would be nice to be more steady but for now I’ve accepted these cycles occur and this site helps in that regard.

But for you - I think you have to experiment with it and use this site, BDSM, fantasy or reality how you want and in a manner that works.
Pick it up , put it down, hammer it, steer clear, do meets or not … there’s no one answer.
Just try different approaches and see what works for you.

Aldo - be patient with it and accept yourself and the situation. Then you can work with it.

Not sure if that helps - but good luck

Luke x

[fr****]

3 hours ago, Aman94 said:

I’m a male don. I’d tell that man right out right what happened and what your ptsd is like. I would be willing to lesson so slow and try and re teach you that your sad and ok and that not ever man is here to hurt you. Yes talking to professionals first is very smart. But if your into wanting BDSM AND what it trust your new partner. There r not the one that hurt you so give them some trust. Remember being straight forward honest and communicating is the best thing you can do. I may want to know if you say no or have a bad reaction, why you’re having it. More to see thing from your point of veiw. Also make sure the person willing / want to make you get better

Thank you, I am very open about it before I even start seen any Doms. I’m not hiding it. Because it’s parts of me that the Dom needs to know about.

[fr****]

37 minutes ago, KinkDaddy78254 said:

I did therapy for almost 2 years and I am in a much better place mentally but still have dreams that haunt me and the morter fireworks create anxiety. I agree with Aman94 that you need to find a Dom that you can trust and slowly work in all your fantasies and kinks at your pace. I would not recommend recreating the trauma scene with a different outcome unless it's an amazing ultimate fantasy that is at the core of your submissive mind. I hope this helps and that your able to return to your erotic/orgasmic self sooner than later.

Thank you so much for your input, I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond, and so I won’t recreate the scene. And will continue to tread carefully as to what’s my triggers are.

[fr****]

16 minutes ago, Lsmart938 said:

There’s no right or wrong way here and no magic bullet that works for everyone.

I suffer with a form of mental anguish and cycle from wanting sex to hating the thought and having a hard time to get aroused but then feel I want to climax.

Personally I find this site useful and talking and fantasising over some of the posts useful.
I can leave it alone or pick it up and when I want.

I use it for me. Dependent on how I’m feeling.

Sometimes I even walk away from it for days or weeks to have a break but then come back and hammer it. Maybe it would be nice to be more steady but for now I’ve accepted these cycles occur and this site helps in that regard.

But for you - I think you have to experiment with it and use this site, BDSM, fantasy or reality how you want and in a manner that works.
Pick it up , put it down, hammer it, steer clear, do meets or not … there’s no one answer.
Just try different approaches and see what works for you.

Aldo - be patient with it and accept yourself and the situation. Then you can work with it.

Not sure if that helps - but good luck

Luke x

I tend to listen to my body and mind a lot more than before. But I’m an over thinker so that’s mostly why I’m in here asking these questions, thank you for responding