New to BDSM (and this forum)

[COYS1535]

First post so hello all! Me and my girlfriend recently got into light BDSM. We're both enjoy dominating the other. This is a post just to ask for advise which I think would be hard to give as everyone enjoys different things. 

We read a bit online and started off with outfits, handcuffs, paddle, blindfold etc. We want to know what would role plays do you recommend to try out and some dominating language we can use as we use the similar phrases. Is there a dictionary somewhere haha. Also any toys / equipment to get us close to orgasm before stopping. 

[ey****]

I think it's wonderful you're exploring together.  

Some of my advice - I think, it's difficult because a lot of play is personal.  I guess examples of some role play I've done lately includes boss/employee, school bully, pervert neighbour, teacher /student, teacher/headmistress 

a lot of those in a, I won't say "non sexual" but for example in one of the boss employees I was sacking the lady, who was then saying "well, if I don't work for you any more we can have a relationship...." and so I start kissing her feet, she films/takes photos and then it becomes blackmail/manipulation 

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For language, this is again something which can be quite personal - do you want to use words like bitch, slut, etc. or use degrading or humiliating terms, or does that not work for you?

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for orgasm toys

a good old magic wand can be fun for tease and denial and probably a lot cheaper than a full milking machine

[Vandalslut]

So true - play is personal. When the Vandal says' "You're MY harlot, my slave, mine to use" I just about faint. And 'Barbarian Invasion', in every sense of the word,  is a favourite role play here. As for toys - for her, I can def' recommend a clitoral vibrator for getting close to orgasm before stopping. One of the Vandal's favourite toys after he has me restrained... (the bastard...)...

[Clara2020]

hey

[cautiousswitch]

Once the bottom is restrained then the top can just remind them who is in control. Tease them a little.  Threaten them a little.  Let them know that the top can do anything that they want to them (not that they would step across any predetermined limits but hint at the possibility).  When the bottom has acknowledged this ask, "So what does that make you?" and there is a reasonable chance that they will give you a name that they are comfortable with being called that shows your dominance.  Based on that you may get ideas of what else to say to them to show your superiority.

Of course, not all BDSM and role play starts with one person being restrained.  Until you've had some experience dominating each other and getting to know each other's likes you may just have to rely on spontaneity and say what comes naturally with the scenario you are playing out.  You have to take the time to gauge their reaction to what you are saying and modify as necessary.

There are "dictionaries" of a sort out there.  They don't all agree on what terms mean.  If you plan on sharing your experiences with other people then they will let you know that certain things you say may be interpreted in a way that you don't mean them during your play time. 

[Phoenyx]

A favorite of mine is: "THERE IS NO ESCAPE!"  This can lead to a whole tangent of its own.  Of course, there is the old standby:  "Did I give you permission to speak?"  Let's see, there is also: "Do you wish to confess?", which can lead in some fun directions.  Another good starting point is:  "Attitude?  Really?"  I'll let you use your imagination on that one.

The secret is to be creative, and, to a certain extent, to be yourself.  Remember, it isn't just about speaking in a dominant way.  It is also about choosing the words that send the scene in the direction that you want it to go.