Yeoldesmilingmaster Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 I think 'nice' is an oversimplification. ALL BDSM just begin with discussions regarding limits and preferences of the partaking partners. That isn't 'nice' that's mandatory. As for the idea of nice in Doms of course it can work. Some subs will need/want a nurturing caring dom, others will want someone mire harsh. It's all down to individual taste.
Snakee Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 Also, it's not like there's a one size fits all...everyone needs to find what's the best fit for their needs. We're all different in our kinks and limits, our desires and in the things that break us. We've come with different pasts and issues, no 2 subs are the same so how could all dom/domme be all the same and fit a certain "template" profile...🤷♂️
Deleted Member Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 (edited) I came to the forums to specifically look for an answer that is really relevant to this, so thank you for making it so convenient. I ran into a situation recently that caught me off guard. I don't want to judge or be critical, but had never experienced it in person. A couple that had a sub/dom relationship carried it into every day life and all aspects of socializing. A guest at my house pulled me aside and apologized beforehand for his girlfriend's behavior and explained that she was supposed to follow his orders and only interact with his approval. Is this more common than I thought and just now seeing it? It's not really a lifestyle that interests me but it did make me curious. For the people that practice this, does it make things difficult and a lot of work and limit activities? What made my previous relationship so incredible was the love and respect and trust we had that enabled complete openness and surrender. I don't feel like I could have that kind of bond if I literally felt she was inferior or an object. Does that make sense? And, honestly, I mean no disrespect to anyone that finds this kind of situation fulfilling, big reason I love this community is because we don't have to hide our kinks. I am just trying to understand it. Thanks everyone. Edited March 13, 2020 by Deleted Member
Vandalslut Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 9 hours ago, Charms said: I would love to find my prince. Iv been broken by so many "nice guys ", since i started dateing at 13. 1 day i will find my prince. Im fed up of fuck wits. Nice guys dont always finish last there are alot of nice guys who have partners. They are wanted cared for and loved You will find him, Charms. Keep putting what you want out there - the Universe is listening to you. Blessings and best.
Deleted Member Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 3 hours ago, Chiana said: Nice guys have been ***d so much, they are not nice anymore or have walked away altogether.... How many times can you kick the dog and expect it to return faithfully Exactly right
ey**** Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Knocker said: she was supposed to follow his orders and only interact with his approval. i've come across this in M/f and personally... I think the 'don't speak to others without permission' only really works if everyone is in on the protocol.
Deleted Member Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 This thread is doing my head in. There's so much negativity here I don't know where to begin. If you're negative and mistrusting of people, you get that served back to you threefold. We've all been hurt by dickheads. We've all been let down or betrayed at some point. But if you believe you're worth more than that, you will get treated better than that. I cant just be the lucky one to have such wonderful play partners and lovers in my life.... Making a change starts with yourself. I know it sounds corny as fuck but be the change you wish to see in the world. And then dominate the way you want to dominate or the way you know your partners enjoy being dominated.
Charms Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 I do belive im worth more than what i got and deseeve more. I deseeve to be treated right. Just not lasted for ever. People grow they change not always for the good
Charms Posted March 13, 2020 Posted March 13, 2020 6 hours ago, Vandalslut said: You will find him, Charms. Keep putting what you want out there - the Universe is listening to you. Blessings and best. Ty for the nice words. Just what i needed today
Deleted Member Posted April 11, 2020 Posted April 11, 2020 One thing I always find myself thinking on almost every topic in the forums is the biggest thing missing in most bsdm relationships is trust and openess and fuck me for sounding dumb, but love. In my honest opinion, for it to truly work takes such intimacy that you can let all guards down and know that you are safe. Even if it's pretend *** or getting cut or humiliated, you know at the end of the day you're not a toilet. As fucked up as my partner and I got, really fucked up, if at any moment one of us felt out of control, we could pull out. I spent an evening as a dog at a rave, not speaking, people holding my leash while she went to the bathroom, when I got too exited she slapped my face and told me to calm down. When we were alone, she pulled on it and fingered my ass and called me a good boy. (It was really hot when she lifted her skirt and told me to use my tongue to push a pill in her ass). When one night she looked back and said, "hurt me", I was a little surprised, but took it slow. I ***d, I spanked, I held her arms. Later on she said, "No, hurt me. Pretend you don't know me and *** me". I went pretty far, did things that almost embarrased me. But she wanted something and felt comfortable enough to ask for it because she knew I loved her and respected her and would never actually hurt her. It's that level of intimacy and trust that truly lets people explore and just be happy. I didn't judge when she asked for something she thought was silly, she didn't judge when I would admit kinks, some not even bdsm. I wanted sooooo bad to be woken in the middle of the night with her sitting on my face, always thought about it. I guess the point is, why do I always see people asking why can't I (whatever). It's not just about being hit, or ***ing on a girl, it's about a wonderful, open, honest, trusting relationship. I've always thought the sub was the more powerful one, because of being comfortable with themselves.
Deleted Member Posted April 12, 2020 Posted April 12, 2020 @Knocker ❤ intimacy and trust for the win ❤
Pl**** Posted April 16, 2020 Posted April 16, 2020 If you are a nice person that's great some people have a hard time separating who they are as a person and who they are sexually. Personally I prefer a gentleman for everyday life and it is an ABSOLUTE bonus it he can dominant and get a little rough when needed.
an**** Posted October 31, 2020 Posted October 31, 2020 I happen to be one of those kindhearted bins MrGreen. Well said. I too am confused the responsiveness of women especially subs to a gentleman. I guess I’m misinformed too, lol. But after 5 years in the life I’ve managed so more power to the assholes and the women that prefer them.i guess they deserve love too.♥️
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