Newcomers

[ro****]

Hello everyone
I'm here after seeing about BDSM in many articles and started to get curious, im more attired by being a Dom but being shy and without experience I was wondering if I could get some tips about how to act, to behave, or talk the way to make it fun for the two party or more experience by the fellow experienced who's here before .
I thanks everyone with the future advice and hope that we can expand our experience .
Good night.

[ey****]

I think of course it's important to always be honest with your experience.  On how to act, behave or talk - remember everyone you come across is a person; never assume a protocol or be rude or instructive as part of "being a Dom"

One top tip is to attend fetish events and watch how other Dominants are or act - be it in their appearance and manorisms.  And remember, of course, that there's different ways *to be* which are all correct if with the right partner.

[ro****]

I see but when you start like trying to be a friend with your partner doesn't it becoming a little weird and scary to act like your here Dom ? Is it normal or ?

[ey****]

to turn the question around - if you became someone's Dom, would it be weird to act like their friend?

the two aren't mutually exclusive.

[Wo****]

Submission is earned through trust. Trust comes from friendship.

 

[ro****]

I see thanks you.
I was wondering knowing to control yourself in the rush of the play is the most important so how can you see the border and stop yourself for not going overboard? Is there a way to improve it ? and does that mean that if is more hard to control yourself in the rush your not feet to be a Dom ?

[ey****]

I think I know where you are going with this - but - I'm not sure

So, any activity you undertake you should know how to do.  Before you pick up any implements, or try any play, you should have a rough idea of the risks and the ways to mitigate risk.  This is important, because otherwise you end up picking up a cane, striking someone in the kidneys and doing them a serious *** (and/or looking like a total fool so nobody would ever play with you again) there's lots of ways to learn from kink workshops, to learning from others to youtube tutorials - but basically, any activity you're interested in trying you should research first.

[Wo****]

Set up any limits beforehand and have safe words. Check in often. Start slow, you can always increase the intensity. It's better to be asked for more than to do too much.

 

Communicate, research and plan. 

As black Sheep says be aware of any risks and learn how to do whatever you do as safely as possible.

[Phoenyx]

3 hours ago, romorantin655 said:

I was wondering knowing to control yourself in the rush of the play is the most important so how can you see the border and stop yourself for not going overboard? Is there a way to improve it ? and does that mean that if is more hard to control yourself in the rush your not feet to be a Dom ?

Communication is the key, here.  At first, the two of you will need to talk your way the scene.  But, ultimately, you need to learn how to read body language.  The messages transmitted though body language are an excellent guide.  Of course, there is always the "Safe Word"---essentially, the "Emergency Stop" button.

[ro****]

Body language?
I see
Does there some references book or course that teach how to interpret specially for kinks play bdsm please?
And I was wondering for the buttons use what about when the partner is unable to move or to speak does there have a something that can help a lot ? Thanks so far for the advice.

[Vandalslut]

3 hours ago, romorantin655 said:

Body language?
I see
Does there some references book or course that teach how to interpret specially for kinks play bdsm please?
And I was wondering for the buttons use what about when the partner is unable to move or to speak does there have a something that can help a lot ? Thanks so far for the advice.

Hi, romorantin655 - You are a very sensible person to ask these questions. There are many good articles in the magazine section in this site and good people who are willing to help. As for your question regarding a signal for 'stop' if a partner is restrained and gagged, give them something to hold like a bunch of keys or a plastic 'cat toy ball with a bell in it. They can drop it and alert you that it's time to stop.

[ro****]

I see thanks you very much.
And is it a bad thing that I'm sensible about it? For a Dom ?

[Vandalslut]

22 hours ago, romorantin655 said:

I see thanks you very much.
And is it a bad thing that I'm sensible about it? For a Dom ?

NO!!!  It is a very very good thing to be sensible as a Dom.  There needs to be more Doms like you.

[cautiousswitch]

You can set up a safe gestures that can be used for when a submissive can't speak.  They snap their finger or wiggle a foot or something else to indicate that play should stop.  The dominant has to pay extra attention to watch for these.  Any play so restrictive as to cut off any such communication is better saved until the dominant has enough experience with the sub to know when they are crossing a limit without having to ask.

Most reference books will be about technique and not about interpreting sub responses.  There may be some that tell general signs of distress to watch for, but the "more qualified" writers aren't going to try and pigeonhole all subs as if they will all react the same. 

[li****]

Evie Lupine and Watts The Safeword on YouTube are pretty good people to watch in my opinion. I'm kinda a new kinkster too and I like them a lot. Also there's a lot of people who like more sensible Dom's!

[ro****]

I see thanks you very much
Sorry for being late to reply I'm going to try find some explanation references on YouTube I tried to look on porn sites but they kinda plain and don't explain a lot 😕 and will come again if I have more questions .