Deleted Member Posted February 6 I often get asked what draws me to kink. Kinks are not something we choose, they choose us. For example this explains why we are drawn to specific kinks. They tease and beckon us and put us into a state of arousal. Why do people love kink and why isnt it more accepted? 1) Freedom. This is a window of our autonomy to shed societal expectations and embrace raw authenticity. This can also run the risk of outliers thinking we are not normal or have psychological hangups. Vanilla experiences that need exploration often grip with the "is it ok" or "is it immoral" tend to funnel this into categories that place judgement without understanding. The result? Deprived naivety of illusion. We are human we have needs and as the first statement reads. We dont choose our kinks like it or not. We become aware of them. 2) Connection. This is deep intimacy we crave and need. Built on trust D/s is essentially saying, "I trust you to not destroy me because I know you wont" from a sub. A Dominant says give me your vulnerability and transparency and in return you have reciprocation on terms we consent to and my vulnerability as well. 3) Escape. An opportunity to step outside daily life, dress up, use toys, bizarre sex, behavior mod, assume identities, etc...we immerse ourselves in fantasy. Kink offers me a way to channel lonliness. Neediness. Longing for something structured and fulfilling. Its intellectual. Its finding strength in vulnerability. Every act serves a purpose to remind me of my worth, resilience, and capacity for growth and new admission of what im evolving into. Kink for me is not the same with everyone. It adapts to the peraon. With one, I may desired intense bondage. Another blackmail play. Another puting on heels and lingerie...its just chemistry and sometimes its newly arriving kink that finds me in the moment or in my confessions. Get your kink on!
Cypresswillys Posted February 6 I would add communication. Yes it's very important in any relationship, absolutely. In kink minded people are more familiar and open to different things. The perception is there is less judgement when communicating one likes desires and fantasies. Not necessarily lessen the embarrassment (why get rid of that kink?) But opens the door to talk about things.
Deleted Member Posted February 6 Author I love the spiritual & mental aspect of it. The freedom to let go rather as a sub or a dominant. It frees up a lot of mental space. As a dominant leaning switch, it's gives me great pleasure to be both sides of things. Which allows me to have more perspective on what it means to be a dominant & submissive. I feel so grounded & humble that I can be kinky.
Deleted Member Posted February 6 Author So sorry for the poor punctuation. I just re-read my post. Most get the gist hopefully. Im not sure how the social on this app is, as I'm new. So thanks for not grilling me. Though a punctuation correction Dominant would be welcome. ;) Joke aside, Thank you for your comments and reactions. I'll do better on the next post! (To clarify..."I trust you to not destroy me"...should read, "I give someone the power to hurt me but trust they wont." Is what I wanted to kind of say.) Add: I want to find love in kink too. To be in a loving bond, and with accepted mutual kinks with a partner, is a thing of beauty. Call me a sappy kinky demisexual I guess. ;)
Deleted Member Posted February 6 Author 51 minutes ago, Switchymoon said: I love the spiritual & mental aspect of it. The freedom to let go rather as a sub or a dominant. It frees up a lot of mental space. As a dominant leaning switch, it's gives me great pleasure to be both sides of things. Which allows me to have more perspective on what it means to be a dominant & submissive. I feel so grounded & humble that I can be kinky. Beautiful!
Deleted Member Posted February 6 Author 1 hour ago, Cypresswillys said: I would add communication. Yes it's very important in any relationship, absolutely. In kink minded people are more familiar and open to different things. The perception is there is less judgement when communicating one likes desires and fantasies. Not necessarily lessen the embarrassment (why get rid of that kink?) But opens the door to talk about things. Absolutely! Communicating your kinks can be a kink in itself!
Ki**** Posted February 6 3 hours ago, meramera said: So sorry for the poor punctuation. I just re-read my post. Most get the gist hopefully. Im not sure how the social on this app is, as I'm new. So thanks for not grilling me. Though a punctuation correction Dominant would be welcome. ;) Joke aside, Thank you for your comments and reactions. I'll do better on the next post! (To clarify..."I trust you to not destroy me"...should read, "I give someone the power to hurt me but trust they wont." Is what I wanted to kind of say.) Add: I want to find love in kink too. To be in a loving bond, and with accepted mutual kinks with a partner, is a thing of beauty. Call me a sappy kinky demisexual I guess. ;) As someone who has spent the last 20 years with two people that were trusted implicitly and given secrets to my soul, and having them gaslight and annihilate me, the first version before you edited to ameliorate, the ***fulness struck me to my core. It twisted the handle. And then I read the second portion, and that is where I have been led by a very special person. And yes, I know that first sentence is a nightmare. But I had too many parts of that thought trying to escape and be put to words.
Di**** Posted February 6 I find it allows you to connect with someone on a higher level, knowing how they think, how they move and what makes them move is such a turn on. Then knowing this and being of one body, one mind is so powerful đđđčđ„°
Re**** Posted February 6 I enjoy having boundaries pushed when I don't have to worry that someone will not honor an absolute stop when I express it.
Deleted Member Posted February 7 Author A sense of wonder, for the most part. It could be a type of scene that's never occurred to me, discovering a kink I hadn't realized I had, being entrusted with someone's safety and pleasure (and possibly loyalty). I remember:  my one visit to the Folsom Street Fair where I saw the leathermen and realized that Tom of Finland inspired an aesthetic. the first time I dropped someone into subspace just by using my voice. sitting down and getting comfortable during a kinky campout to watch a delightfully silly scene involving a sprinkler and rubber mallets. the first time I saw someone crack a flaming bullwhip at night. biting someone for so long and so hard that the bruise lasted for nearly three weeks and turned all sorts of beautifully horrible colors. the first time I walked on hot coals. the three hook / spirit / energy pulls I've participated in. acting like a complete fangirl during my first visit the Black Beat conference. having someone straddle me as I clawed their back up while they convulsed before my eyes.  ... and so on. There are other things about it that I keep close to my heart, but it's mainly the sense of wonder.  Â
Mo**** Posted February 13 I have a lot of responsibility in my day to day life so giving up that control for a while makes me more relaxed and at ease than a massage lol. I feel proud of the service I do and when I get better in my training. Itâs a bond like no other
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