Standards & Proceedings

[Deleted Member]

Heya!! :)
Never posted in the forums but today I am feeling a little bold. I just would like to know... With the standards within D/s or M/s (in my case) when do one speak up for something they do not agree with? Ex: you're both on the same social site which allows you to view when the other is online & you happen to notice they are not only online but haven't yet responded to your texts.... What do you do? Is it disrespectful to approach & accuse? I'd like to hear back from some of you who can relate or maybe defuse this fire brewing in my mind

[Deleted Member]

it be more disrespectful that they dont respond to you , as A Master i always encourage my sub to to be totally open and honest with me , and i do the same when i with a sub /slave am all theres , and i need to know when something is not right , but in your case i think u got a wimp for a d not to talk with you is disrespectful, then again it your choice to say enouigh is enough , after all we are people in the end , not just a sub /slave , but then again maybe he scared or wants to see how u react , either way it a right to stabd up for yourself , and he doesnt want to listen then is he the d/ M for you , that your decision , hope that helps

[Deleted Member]

I am in the same situation as you, playing devils advocate though a lot of the time I know I am logged in but not actually on the site so to someone messaging me it might appear I am ignoring them when In fact I am busy... I have met a Dom that I enjoy my time with and do see that he is online sometimes but takes a while to respond to me and it does get my mind racing, wondering if he is messaging other?

[Wo****]

2 hours ago, AngelicBrat said:

Heya!!
Never posted in the forums but today I am feeling a little bold. I just would like to know... With the standards within D/s or M/s (in my case) when do one speak up for something they do not agree with? Ex: you're both on the same social site which allows you to view when the other is online & you happen to notice they are not only online but haven't yet responded to your texts.... What do you do? Is it disrespectful to approach & accuse? I'd like to hear back from some of you who can relate or maybe defuse this fire brewing in my mind

Been there...

Talk to him.

I had this a while ago with Pirate. Most of the time he was either logged in but not on the site, or reading stuff.

Talk to him. Tell him you feel insecure.

There are several reasons he may not be responding. If you don't ask, if you're anything like I was, you'll imagine the worst.

[Deleted Member]

@Sablue ... I totally agree with that last part, it does make you wonder who is occupying their time?. But I do understand ppl are busy sometimes, I tend to as well.. But I always have the second to send a simple message lol, but thank you!!

[Wo****]

28 minutes ago, Sablue said:

I am in the same situation as you, playing devils advocate though a lot of the time I know I am logged in but not actually on the site so to someone messaging me it might appear I am ignoring them when In fact I am busy... I have met a Dom that I enjoy my time with and do see that he is online sometimes but takes a while to respond to me and it does get my mind racing, wondering if he is messaging other?

Trust your Dom to tell you anything that you need to know.

The messages could be about anything, from anyone.

[qu****]

I don't know about here but other sites I've used in the past quite often showed me as being online when I was logged of the site, 

[Deleted Member]

Trust is a must. Obviously it’s new to you and you feel like he doesn’t think about you. Maybe you should ask about your messages procedures, for example I tell my sub if she’s too busy or if I am too let each other know about it. Regardless if we login in. We might just have mind set for looking and not chatting.
Don’t overthink too much

[Deleted Member]

@quietlysure... I too had that happen once or twice so that is possible..

[Deleted Member]

@FabSeverus... Absolutely agree with Trust being a Must. Yes, it is new... I do intend to ask but I do not want to seem jealous right away or possibly give him a reg flag,, but Thank You for your advice & I'll try not too.

[Wo****]

Nothing wrong with feeling jealous, it's how you react and what you do about it.

Talking it over with your Dom will help.

I know Pirate messages people, he sees other people. At first it was really really weird. Took a lot of honesty about how I felt and a lot of discussion but I'm now at the point where I'm not just comfortable, I'm happy he does.

 

[MsAndreas00]

Trust me i feel you agony  I have equally been in this situation at first I considered it to  be more disrespectful that they dont respond but later i figured out he's actually busy while he's quite online but not actively around so It's best you talk to them about it and ask question

[Deleted Member]

I would say it's always better to talk about thoughts AND feelings. In general and especially when there is something strange that comes to the mind, or something feels a little off or totally wrong. I mean really, the person that could change something is most of the time the person of interest. We don't talk about things here that you already talked about a hundred times. Or did this kind of missing responsiveness happens often and you talk a lot about those things?
In this case I would say there is something to think off and reflect. If it somehow is more about *** of lost or jealousy.