Setting up

[Ca****]

I have a question for the veteran Kinksters. When you're setting up a session, how much preparation do you go through? How much do you set up individually, vs allowing your partner to help? For those that use prop play, is there any kind of extra steps or do you just uncover say the wooden horse and get into it? I'm mostly curious because as someone who is into watersports theres seems to be a good deal of prep before our sessions get underway. I suppose another way to ask is how much foreplay do you give out before moving to the main course?

[ey****]

a lot is in the context on who it is, how well I know them, what we both wrong.

I could drag my wife downstairs now (or vice versa...) and either of us would have a rough idea on what we could do/grab/etc. to do a scene.

But we've been together 11 years.

The last Dominants I played with was last weekend and so a few days before I sent a generic 'interest' list - it was one of the Ladies premises so she knew what she owned and had a rough idea what we'd do.   That said, the scene we ended with (which I feel should be called 'cane and cock party') we had a pretty quick discussion on which canes I could take and making sure the strap on was an OK size (it was a little bit large as it happens)

The last sub I played with - that involved a little bit more planning and mental go through as there was a specific role play they wished to go through and so I took the framework and came up with some ideas that would fit that. I wanted to make sure everything was consensual but also keep surprise; and I think I did surprise her when I *** slammed her onto the bed (she was very much into gloves) and then held a knife to her throat.

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By foreplay and main course it depends on what the main course actually is.... is it sex?  Because not everyone I play with I have sex with.  And besides, with or without release - post orgasm *** can be fun

[Deleted Member]

Main course? 🤔 kind of respectful expression. 
When I drive to see my subs I go through the sessions. What will I do when I arrive then what’s happen next. I don’t plan all of it but get some ideas of what will happen. It’s about having a good focus in case plan change during the play. Visualising before get you into the mood too. But sometime things go totally different, the sub might surprise you with her outfit or sub position, she might greet me with a dance or waiting in her cage 🤷‍♂️. 

[Deleted Member]

There's a lot of preparation involved in doing kinky shit. I give a list of things needed for play to the sub I'm playing with but certain aspects of the preparation fall to me. 

I do plan what I'm going to do, but it's a loose plan as I like to be fluid and respond to how I feel or whatever comes up. I like the forward-thinking stage, as it helps me think about the person I'm going to be playing with, and try to anticipate their needs, wants, reactions to things. 

Then, as a woman, there's all the other preparation required! Hair! Nails! Face mask! Shave legs! Outfit planning! 

[Deleted Member]

Hey guardian 🎮💕

[kristina4sin]

Kind of hard to answer from a sub point of view and this is just my view by the way but the dominate people I've had in my life have planned out in there head etc etc props ready on my arrival
The gasp of omg are doing that this time ie st Andrews cross or what ever
Again only my point of view and from a sub mind set but I prefer to walk in see it all lined out in front of me type thing

[cautiousswitch]

Obviously, you talk it out as long as necessary to see what each person hopes to get from the session.  Then it sort of breaks down depending on the session itself.

If the sub wants to be surprised or the dom/me wants to keep the sub surprised then the sub will be less involved in setting up.  If there is a more "scripted" idea of what is to take place then the sub can help more to set up.

The activity itself can determine set up time.  Safety concerns may lead to a longer set up.  Making it easier to clean up afterwards may take more time.

Setting the mood can take more time.  That's an area where the sub can be made to do most of the work in advance in order to please their master.

What is meant by foreplay here?  I have only played with professionals so, in the interest of not wasting my time, set up time is part of the foreplay leading to the main event.  They've done a preliminary based on previous discussions of the session and then they either order me to help with the rest of the set up or make me watch as they taunt me with what is going to happen to me.  In a non-professional relationship you can set up and then have foreplay be something completely different that won't lead to what was set up for until the dominant decides it is time.