I Could Be Right-I Could Be Wrong

[Kriss123]

In my search for a Dominant Mistress/Goddess for a relationship which am even starting to think I am asking the impossible.The most common breakdown when negotiating the Deal on the table is this Tribute that is required..Relationships need all the luck it can get.i just feel that it's off to a shaky start if somebody asks oh you make a great couple ,how did you two meet.?

oh I had send her a £100 in Amazon Vouchers

[Deleted Member]

I believe it’s commun for women to ask for a tribute, but maybe you should ask for references before sending *** or gift. 
Funny enough we Dom never ask for a tribute 🤔 maybe I should start doing it 😂

[Deleted Member]

Don't get sucked in by the scammers! Stay clear.

[Deleted Member]

Well, most dominant women rather profit than look for intimate partners. If they ask for a tribute, they aim for a commercial service, which means: satisfying your desires for payment. And you're one of thousands in this one.
Or they're just greedy. lol

[cautiousswitch]

The vouchers make it look like a scam.  Alternatively, there are a lot of women who think of themselves as professional dommes who don't know what they are doing; some of them will also accept vouchers to try and under report their income.  They see the relationship as patron-client as opposed to significant other.

The ones worth paying for will treat it like a business.  They will have an actual website rather than trying to pick up clients in chat rooms.  They will be up front that the relationship is a business relationship.  They will want to get to know you before taking you on as a client.

 

 

[Tw****]

its not impossible to find someone just keep at it. Anyone asking for something upfront is ie payment is just a scam move on. I for one know they are out there and a lot of them are genuine and great.

[Dreamaway]

Well said. Unless the lady is a professional and your meeting is on that basis, I would suggest you ignore these scroungers demanding a tribute, they're trying to take advantage.

[Deleted Member]

It is possible to find one never loose hope..but that sounds like a scam

[Sa****]

I found a fantastic Dominant...took me 6 months of trawling through the scammers oh and by the way there are a few on this site as well, mine has always been a tribute per play session and she never asked for anything up front in the form of Amazon vouchers so it can be done actually I would recommend you have a look at Twitter there are loads on there

[Kriss123]

Thankyou all so much for your positive feedback..It is really encouraging.Especially  as it the first time I've wrote on the forum.

[ey****]

although context applies.  

if you approach someone and they happen to be a Professional then they may wish for tribute.  That shouldn't come as a surprise.   If someone approaches you and expresses interest then (a) a Professional shouldn't normally be touting for business this way (b) chances are it's just some form of scam

If of course you approach someone and they ask tribute and this isn't what you wanted or expected it's fair to politely decline and end the conversation.  

And, if you approach someone and they happen to be a scammer then it's an important reminder about doing a little research or pre-vet before dropping a line.   

[Kriss123]

2 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

although context applies.  

if you approach someone and they happen to be a Professional then they may wish for tribute.  That shouldn't come as a surprise.   If someone approaches you and expresses interest then (a) a Professional shouldn't normally be touting for business this way (b) chances are it's just some form of scam

If of course you approach someone and they ask tribute and this isn't what you wanted or expected it's fair to politely decline and end the conversation.  

And, if you approach someone and they happen to be a scammer then it's an important reminder about doing a little research or pre-vet before dropping a line.   

Thanks mate

[Deleted Member]

Finding a kinky partner takes time. Someone told me it can take 5 years. Maybe it does. Maybe you'll get lucky sooner than that. Because it's not just your kinky desires you have to align with someone else, it's all the other things like personality, values, compatibility. 

You might be surprised to know that it's just as hard for a Domme to find a good sub. But we don't moan about it as much as male subs seem to moan about not being able to find a good Domme. 

I've seriously thought about charging for my time because most men see me as a kink delivery system. They seem to need hand-holding through the simplest of tasks and show almost zero initiative. They just want to feel subby, and call you Ma'am all the time. Dull dull dull. 

[Deleted Member]

I'm also going to make it clear, here, that I expect gifts from subs. I don't think that's the same as asking for a Tribute. Gifts are a language of love. And I deserve them. 

[Kriss123]

7 minutes ago, MsWhiteRose said:

Finding a kinky partner takes time. Someone told me it can take 5 years. Maybe it does. Maybe you'll get lucky sooner than that. Because it's not just your kinky desires you have to align with someone else, it's all the other things like personality, values, compatibility. 

You might be surprised to know that it's just as hard for a Domme to find a good sub. But we don't moan about it as much as male subs seem to moan about not being able to find a good Domme. 

I've seriously thought about charging for my time because most men see me as a kink delivery system. They seem to need hand-holding through the simplest of tasks and show almost zero initiative. They just want to feel subby, and call you Ma'am all the time. Dull dull dull. 

Mistress if you ever have a little free time you might drop me a msg so I can ask a few quick 

questions so I can refresh what I'm doing..I love buying gifts for girlfriends because I can take my knowledge of what I think she would lke..It's personal..I could do with a friend like you..even if it's a coupl of weeks time.if you don't want to that's ok I have a huge respect for you ...

[Phoenyx]

This site seems to be overrun with scammers.  I have to wade through "Hi" and "Hello" messages every day.  I don't even bother answering them anymore.  Nor, do I bother with messages that clearly show that they haven't read my profile.  These are most-likely spam.

Actually, I found a person that I desired, by reading what she posted on the forum.  She described her perfect image of a Dom, and I felt that I fit that bill.  I contacted her, repeating what I had read in her post.  And the rest, as "They" say, is history.

3 hours ago, MsWhiteRose said:

I'm also going to make it clear, here, that I expect gifts from subs. I don't think that's the same as asking for a Tribute. Gifts are a language of love. And I deserve them.

Um...Let's see...Bad attitude?  Or, maybe, just a poor one.  True, I accepted gifts in my day.  But, I never asked-for, demanded, or expected them.  They were always just welcome surprises.  I could see demanding gifts from a sub, who said that they wanted to engage in such play.  But, blanketly expecting them...uh uh!

[Vandalslut]

As a female submissive it's been my pleasure and privilege to have established friendships with some lovely gents in this site who are submissives or who have had the guts and courage to undergo submissive training in order to be a better Dom.  I shan't mention their names, they know who they are. And from what I've heard from THEM, it would seem that submissive training doesn't improve Dommes very much at all - if they do deign to try it. 

13 minutes ago, phoenyx said:

Actually, I found a person that I desired, by reading what she posted on the forum.  She described her perfect image of a Dom, and I felt that I fit that bill.  I contacted her, repeating what I had read in her post.  And the rest, as "They" say, is history.

And Phoenyx is not the only satisfied Dom in this site! But there does seem to be quite a few prowling Dommes, always searching...and of course, any Domme wishing to charge for her time has to make sure that's clear by a wee 'Euro' sign, I believe?

The repeated impression I've had is that Doms are willing to put time, effort and love into training a sub - but  from what I've seen, read and been told by male submissives over the last few months, Dommes want a ready-made AND tailor-made submissive man. Good luck with that one.

[Deleted Member]

18 hours ago, MsWhiteRose said:

I'm also going to make it clear, here, that I expect gifts from subs. I don't think that's the same as asking for a Tribute. Gifts are a language of love. And I deserve them. 

I guess a lot depends on what you view as a gift. Do you mean some nice flowers or a maybe a nice scented candle or more expensive things? I do things for my mistress that she's not requested. They are a gift of my energy.  Gifts are indeed a language of love so they can't be demanded. 

I believe every woman should be worshipped and loved, I guess that's my thing lol. The question is what makes you feel loved and worshipped, a gift bought in a shop or someone that's prepared to go that extra mile for you? You most certainly do deserve to receive the gifts you desire. Everyone does. I think you're more likely to get it from a longer term relationship with a single sub and it'll take time if you want them given with love 🙂. 

[qu****]

I've always found it odd that male doms seemingly never ask for a tribute/payment, but , I won't say the majority, but a hell of a lot of female Doms'  seem to...

[ey****]

1 minute ago, quietlysure said:

I've always found it odd that male doms seemingly never ask for a tribute/payment, but , I won't say the majority, but a hell of a lot of female Doms'  seem to...

I don't feel it's odd.

I can go off on lots of different tangents for this.

Obviously Male Pro Dominants exist (and pro subs/switches, but a lot of those are via the escort route) though a lot of them are laughable and TBH - I think *most* male Dominants wouldn't turn down the opportunity to play with someone of their preferred gender (mind, some put themselves at risk by being a little too keen, but that's another story)

I've found that women often don't advertise their availability because it just invites an awful lot of idiot guys (and they get enough idiot guys as is) - but of course, Professionally Dominants *do* advertise.

And I think that often skews the balance as most Dommes that people see are the ones who advertise, i.e. the Pros.

-

That said, a gift as a gesture is nice - there's a lot of dynamic differences between M/f and F/m (I appreciate this doesn't begin to count any other combo) and a femme sub can make a good impression with a beer and a blow job, but a Female Dominant might have somewhat different ideas of what constitutes as a gesture or a good impression.

-

Also, take in consideration that in society, men have many advantages over women, so this translates different into dynamics.  In male submission, a lot of this is in stripping away or giving up some of the advantages they hold.  

[Deleted Member]

The reason why you don't see many Dommes in here, talking about what they want or expect from a sub, is because of the kind of backlash I see displayed in some of these responses to my earlier comment. 

Male Dom/female sub is a dynamic that is familiar and supported by societal conditioning. When you turn the tables, EVERYTHING is different. Femdom doesn't much resemble Male Domination. I don't expect you to understand that if you are a Male Dom or a female sub. 

@eyemblacksheepshows the best understanding of it, because he has experience of it.

No, I don't have to tell you what kind of gifts I ask for. They are always specific to the particular person or dynamic. They are relevant to our relationship or what we're going to do together and I am not about to start justifying this. 

A femme sub can make a good impression with a beer and willingness to give a blowjob. Precisely!  A willingness to buy me a small gift is how a male sub can make a similar impression on me. 

[ey****]

regarding gifts.

I think my first impression of the word "Mistress" wasn't a "Professional Dominant" but a lady that a married man was having an affair with - this was an often topic on many of the early evening chat shows my step-mam watched (Rikki Lake, Montel Williams, etc etc.) and there'd be discussions and a lot of the Mistresses were like "we don't want him to leave his wife, the situation suits us" and that the situation is they'd always get a guy who was really wanting to make the most of time together, who'd want to do something special like a nice meal or something or come with a gift to help make the time special.

But, also I think there's still certain gestures within this all.  Thoughtfulness is a form of submission.  

 

[qu****]

End of the day it comes down to what type of relationship the individual seeking wants, and it's made clear from initial contact, if you're not into the paying/tribute thing that's fine, and if not that's equally fine, 

[qu****]

But there are a lot here whose views maybe skewed purely from personal online experiences, and that's in vanilla as well as kink/fetish/BDSM, 

[Deleted Member]

On 3/17/2020 at 2:16 PM, Brittone2 said:

In my search for a Dominant Mistress/Goddess for a relationship which am even starting to think I am asking the impossible.The most common breakdown when negotiating the Deal on the table is this Tribute that is required..Relationships need all the luck it can get.i just feel that it's off to a shaky start if somebody asks oh you make a great couple ,how did you two meet.?

oh I had send her a £100 in Amazon Vouchers

If you're negotiating a deal, you're not starting a relationship. You're making a transaction. 

Plenty of kink can be transactional in nature. If you want something badly enough, what is it worth to you?  That kind of thing. 

But if you want a relationship, maybe you need to take a different approach to finding a genuine Domme.