"The Threat Zone"

[cautiousswitch]

I don't know if there is a term that's used for this.  It's sort of the grey zone between limits and OK stuff - I initially referred to it as the grey zone, but there's this horrible 50 shades book out and I didn't want people to think I was promoting it.

Basically, I've started compiling a list of things that I really don't like but will allow to be done to me under certain circumstances.  If I start to misbehave then the top will have something she can threaten me with that she is allowed to carry through with.  I once had one threaten to cross my limits to which I just replied, "No, you won't," and put an end to that.  One, if I believed they would really cross a limit I wouldn't be seeing them.  Two, if they did cross a limit then they'd better be prepared to keep me restrained for the rest of my life or suffer the consequences.  This really isn't fair to them and is less fun for me.   There had to be consequences or the whole thing seemed like a sham.  So I started thinking of stuff that I would never request in a session because I don't care for them, but they aren't crossing into forbidden territory.  I don't like caning, but two or three whacks if I get out of line are reasonable - as long as it's only when I get out of line.

Does anyone else have a system like this? Is there a name for it?

[Nikki_Hexy]

I feel that this may the difference between a "hard limit" and a "soft limit"? If thats where you are getting at? Where a hard limit is strictly forbidden and a soft limit can be used as a punishment or potentially as only a threat but gently or be slowly incorporated into punishments if the wrong behaviour continues?

[ey****]

yeah; soft limits

for some folk soft limits can make good punishments

for some folk soft limits can be a little "I don't like to, but would for you"

then of course, there's also general dislikes or things you like less.