A little intimidated

[Deleted Member]

I’m also super new to this, never done anything kinky in my live. I don’t want a serious dom/sub relationship, just kinda wanna meet people I can hang out with and keep the experimenting and kinky stuff in the bedroom. Kinda like a friends with benefits deal, or maybe just a kinky date / hookup to try some new things out. So far everyone I’ve talked to just wants me to be a full time sex slave, and it’s honestly a little bit intimidating. It just seems frustrating and difficult to meet a friend who can also be my play partner. 

[Deleted Member]

Trust me on this, just ignore those people that try to "make you their own personal slave". No real active (dominant) person would throw a passive (submissive/devot) into the pit, without experience or at least a real strong drive in a particular direction. The passive person dictates somehow the borders a relationship would be like and at some point this changes after a while bit by bit. And when YOU trust someone to give him the full control over you - if you want to - this person would also not do things you would never like, *** or find disgusting or even dangerous. Keep in mind that it would be a crime if someone would do otherwise. But keep also in mind that someone that lives or likes kinky stuff and likes you, would never ever do funny things. I mean this person would also know he would loose you, because of such a behavior.

Just relax and try to find what you are in fact looking for, communicate this, then your limits, ***s, likes or dislikes and the person that matches and cares will not disappoint you. And even when it sounds maybe not as dominant right now, a person that matches your criteria would also know how to drive you into a more passive corner. Have a good time

Edited March 23, 2020 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

42 minutes ago, handlungsbedarf said:

Trust me on this, just ignore those people that try to "make you their own personal slave". No real active (dominant) person would throw a passive (submissive/devot) into the pit, without experience or at least a real strong drive in a particular direction. The passive person dictates somehow the borders a relationship would be like and at some point this changes after a while bit by bit. And when YOU trust someone to give him the full control over you - if you want to - this person would also not do things you would never like, *** or find disgusting or even dangerous. Keep in mind that it would be a crime if someone would do otherwise. But keep also in mind that someone that lives or likes kinky stuff and likes you, would never ever do funny things. I mean this person would also know he would loose you, because of such a behavior.

Just relax and try to find what you are in fact looking for, communicate this, then your limits, ***s, likes or dislikes and the person that matches and cares will not disappoint you. And even when it sounds maybe not as dominant right now, a person that matches your criteria would also know how to drive you into a more passive corner. Have a good time

That’s honestly really great to hear. Thanks for such an insightful answer, it means a lot to me as someone who just started out. 

[Ni****]

Hi and welcome. First, ignore everyone who tells you have to call them Sir or Master immediately, and those who want you to change profile to in a relationship or only chat off site. Read everything you can on submissives and Doms as all different, and many types of both. Update your profile as you find things that interest you, and chat to people who's kinks match. Unfortunately this won't stop messages, but you will know who to ignore and who to chat to .. Someone who says Hi would you like to chat, you look cute or sexy, or have an interesting profile. You may be a submissive, but you choose whose !

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, MyMaster said:

Hi and welcome. First, ignore everyone who tells you have to call them Sir or Master immediately, and those who want you to change profile to in a relationship or only chat off site. Read everything you can on submissives and Doms as all different, and many types of both. Update your profile as you find things that interest you, and chat to people who's kinks match. Unfortunately this won't stop messages, but you will know who to ignore and who to chat to .. Someone who says Hi would you like to chat, you look cute or sexy, or have an interesting profile. You may be a submissive, but you choose whose !

Thanks for the advice, it's very much appreciated :)

[Da****]

That's what I'm looking for mostly, it's tough

[Mo****]

As has already been said, IGNORE those that want you to call them something right from the start.  Read profiles looking for like minded and kink minded connections.  Communicate honestly and openly about likes and dislikes, and don't rush into active meets, BUILD TRUST first, and look for those that respect or show respect to you.  These are the more genuine type.  I am not saying trust them from the start because there are rogues and sharks out there that will say and do anything to get fresh meat.  When you start to play, progress at your own comfortable pace, don't be rushed into anything.  Some people take longer to progress than others, so if you have built that trust factor, progression should be reasonably smooth.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, DaddyCool89 said:

That's what I'm looking for mostly, it's tough

Yeah, I'm between like 5 platforms and haven't found what I'm looking for yet. We'll get there though. Best of luck to you man, I'm sure I'm gonna need it haha 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, MossyBoy said:

As has already been said, IGNORE those that want you to call them something right from the start.  Read profiles looking for like minded and kink minded connections.  Communicate honestly and openly about likes and dislikes, and don't rush into active meets, BUILD TRUST first, and look for those that respect or show respect to you.  These are the more genuine type.  I am not saying trust them from the start because there are rogues and sharks out there that will say and do anything to get fresh meat.  When you start to play, progress at your own comfortable pace, don't be rushed into anything.  Some people take longer to progress than others, so if you have built that trust factor, progression should be reasonably smooth.

Thank you for your insight. It's always great to get advice from more experienced people.