Is this a normal fantasy

[Juicylucy-3511]

I really want to be ***d during sex I have wanted this for years but never been brave enough to as an ex 

[Alfrade]

Yes this is a things and as lomg as your safe then it can be very fun. But obusly it can be dangeras

[ey****]

yep - really common.  

don't ask ex's though, ask new partners  

[MrSkyFeet]

Like the other guys have said, it's not uncommon at all, especially within D/s or TPE play. But it is also a thing all of its own.

Just make sure you have absolute trust in the person if you try this and have your established safe words / actions. Needless to say, whilst it can be incredibly and intensely erotic, it can also go very wrong, very quickly. So please stay safe x

[Deleted Member]

Yes it is. me and my FWB do it to eachother when we fuck.

[Deleted Member]

I’d love to do be ***d as well 🙈

[typhoon2]

Choking - as in compression of the carotid arteries - is fairly common, but shouldn't be confused with simple throat-holding. Both are classic examples of power exchange but one is threat and the other has a physiological impact, with - as others have noted - genuine dangers. Done well, carotid compression causes light-headedness and drifting away, with an attendant euphoric 're-boot' once the *** is flowing again. Done poorly and it can easily lead to petichae, bruising, massive headaches as well as more permanent harm. As a fantasy it's very common (a lot of popular porn includes it, to the extent that it's been cited as cause for concern when people use porn to learn about sex) but the reality is quite different. Few people actually know what they're doing although most fumble through without too much harm. The newspapers are currently full of 'rough sex' *** cases where ***rs were ignorant or reckless.

[Deleted Member]

Just make sure you've got a paramedic mate on standby when you do it, and you know the location of your neighbourhood defibrillator.

[Deleted Member]

Also, not sure that you completed your statement, " but never been brave enough as an ex... " an ex what?

[94Aries]

Same as, new to this myself but I've only really hinted to my past partners (non bdsm) that I wanted it more rough etc. Its a nerve racking thing admitting the peculiar fantasies/kinks we have, least for me.

[Mo****]

Here is a game I used to play with my girlfriends when younger.  The game was a way of bringing up ideas towards kinky play, and it worked in 90% of the time.  This is a way for the less confident of you to break the ice, so to speak.

 

What I used to do was have several copies of Penthouse or Forum magazines lying around.  When I wanted to bring up a subject I suggested we read stories from the forum section to each other, and act out some of the actions in the stories.  This used to lower the inhibitions of my partners, because it was a story from someone else, not something that I suggested we try, well not initially anyway.  So an example of that was introducing anal sex into our activities, or perhaps spankings.  You could always tell from their body reactions whether there was a genuine interest and willing involvement.

 

Now on the choking side of things!  This life has some very real dangers to it if you put your trust in the wrong person, or you fail to fully understand the actions.  If you  remember back to the days of professional wrestling, and the use of the sleeper hold, or you see police or security personnel employ the *** hold.  All of these are akin to creating a *** loss to the brain, very much like a stroke.  Only a stroke completely blocks the *** vessel whereas these holds interrupt the *** supply, BUT if held too hard or too long, will cause brain damage and possible death.  So PLEASE, research about this and any other activity you do not understand or have never used before.  RISK ASSESS your activities, and ensure you have a Plan B for rapid medical intervention.  A stroke victim for example, has about 8 - 15 minutes on average, with blocked vessels, before brain damage sets in.  

 

If you really want to do the breath play/strangle type scenario, a much better way is completely cover their nose and mouth with yours, and prevent them from breathing, and ultimately becoming light headed.  YOU can still breath through your nose, much like a musician plays a trumpet or bagpipes.  But as I said, TRUST in your partner, be Consensual with your decision and be alert at all times.  This means NO alcohol, and definitely NO *** to possibly cloud your awareness.

  

[Ky****]

@MossyBoy yes, about your comments on choking etc.  actually caryotid compression is technically a strangle and it can be v dangerous.  I was trained in these holds by a man who could cause a blackout so quickly that his demonstration used to be to have someone hold a felt pen and try to mark him, no one ever succeeded.  So, as much as I enjoy the feeling it is something that I'm wary off.  Not least because this is one area where the use of a safe word/action is inappropriate, it can go on so quickly that you're out before you have time to react.  Therefore caryotid compression requires the dominant to be 100% on the ball and be experienced enough to spot when sub has stopped reacting, its not as easy as you think, in competition I haven't noticed that my opponent has stopped struggling and might have killed them if the referee hadn't noticed and halted the bout.

[Su****]

Yes I love this, but read the above as it can be dangerous, and there is 2 types