Unusual fetishes and how to discuss them

[Deleted Member]

Afternoon All

 

I hope you, your family and loved ones are all staying safe during this difficult time 💙

What I would like to ask is how do you all deal with bringing up a different or new fetish in conversation and how do you deal with bad responses to it ? 

I have recently read a few article regarding a certain fetish of mine, safe to say the reactions and responses I read were not great. It seems it’s a bit like marmalade for some 😅 

I’m still relatively new to kink and BDSM so my confidence in what I enjoy is not the best so advice is always appreciated.

 

Thank you again and please stay safe x

[Deleted Member]

I've found that these conversations develop organically, with time and trust. But I'm not usually starting a relationship to fulfil a particular kink; I'm interested in the person and then we find mutual kinks and ideas to explore BDSM together. 

If you want someone to service your kink, it's best to lead with that and search profiles for people who have that particular kink listed in their own fetishes. 

You'll find that almost anything goes. Kink is a broad church. 

[Deleted Member]

Hope you’re keeping well too Samantha-Jayne!

I’d just say roll with it, be proud of who you are and what you like. Everyone has different kinks and what gets our juices going is such a subjective thing!

If someone has a bad reaction then they clearly aren’t understanding as they should be in today’s day and age!

Happy hunting for a kink partner! 😛

[Deleted Member]

20 minutes ago, MsWhiteRose said:

I've found that these conversations develop organically, with time and trust. But I'm not usually starting a relationship to fulfil a particular kink; I'm interested in the person and then we find mutual kinks and ideas to explore BDSM together. 

If you want someone to service your kink, it's best to lead with that and search profiles for people who have that particular kink listed in their own fetishes. 

You'll find that almost anything goes. Kink is a broad church. 

Thank you MsWhiteRose, I agree with you it is something that comes up once I’ve gotten to know someone and trust them. I think I am perhaps just overly cautious from past experiences where it’s been badly misunderstood. I would search it on the list but I don’t believe it’s actually on there as of yet 😅

Thsnk you again for your advice its much appreciated x

[Deleted Member]

14 minutes ago, Silverjay said:

Hope you’re keeping well too Samantha-Jayne!

I’d just say roll with it, be proud of who you are and what you like. Everyone has different kinks and what gets our juices going is such a subjective thing!

If someone has a bad reaction then they clearly aren’t understanding as they should be in today’s day and age!

Happy hunting for a kink partner! 😛

Thanks silverjay x

 

[Deleted Member]

Generally, I only "bring up" kinky topics to people I know are open to them. If they seem like the conventional, conservative type, why bother? Most of the time these things are personal anyway. Do you discuss your sex life with your parents? Lol don't kink so. What link is it btw? I'm pretty sure I've heard worse lol

[Deleted Member]

Kink*

[Ar****]

The thing to do here is to listen to your instincts. Trust your gut and whether it tells you the person you are talking to would be receptive or not to what you want to bring up. Ideally you would already know enough about this person to trust they have an open mind and will not judge you; if you think there is a risk of that, then I would say that is an indicator you ought not be considering raising the topic with them, at least not just yet.

 

If it does backfire and you get a bad response, well it depends on how bad/what type of response and is difficult to say without examples. But assuming it were just that they rejected it and as a result you, then I'd be hurt and disappointed (maybe even embarrassed at my judgement) that the person was not who I thought they were, but mostly thankful that said person was no longer a consideration for me. You don't need people who don't support you, you need people who will understand you - or at least try. Better to learn you can't share that side of yourself with them sooner rather than later.

[Deleted Member]

Quote

8 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

The thing to do here is to listen to your instincts. Trust your gut and whether it tells you the person you are talking to would be receptive or not to what you want to bring up. Ideally you would already know enough about this person to trust they have an open mind and will not judge you; if you think there is a risk of that, then I would say that is an indicator you ought not be considering raising the topic with them, at least not just yet.

 

If it does backfire and you get a bad response, well it depends on how bad/what type of response and is difficult to say without examples. But assuming it were just that they rejected it and as a result you, then I'd be hurt and disappointed (maybe even embarrassed at my judgement) that the person was not who I thought they were, but mostly thankful that said person was no longer a consideration for me. You don't need people who don't support you, you need people who will understand you - or at least try. Better to learn you can't share that side of yourself with them sooner rather than later.

 

Thank you as always for your excellent advice x

Maybe I’m overthinking it but it’s always nice to get an outside perspective when in doubt 

[CheekiCheshire]

I have something unusual on my hard limit list. I am fully aware of how many people will view it. I ask everyone to make sure they look over my limit list, and show me theirs VERY early on. That helps us both figure out if there's anything to work with, or if it is at the most friendship. No point in investing a lot of time and emotions into something when we are not a good fit to begin with.

 

In your case it would be on your Likes list, but the same theory. 

[Bri3578]

I personally think we are all different and unusual anyway so whatever makes you happy and it doesn't hurt anyone then go for it.