Do the Ladies respond to the "Kink Gifts"

[MusicTraveler]

  1 hour ago, Lady_Char said:

I'm sorry you haven't had good responses. Can I offer a suggestion to you as to why you might get no response rather than no thank you?

Polite rejections have a 50/50 chance (yes, I pulled that stat out of my ass lol) of being met with a demand for why. If you give them a why, they usually take it as a personal insult and get nasty. Or they just go straight to nasty.

No response is safer for us. And if they read and don't respond, that is an answer, too. Please don't take it as something personal to you; it's likely them protecting themselves.

(Before people jump at you... Yes, I know it isn't all of you!!! But it's enough of you to make us wary.)

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That makes a lot of sense. I try to be respectful and sweet with my first message. Like I would be in person. It saddens me to see people not return respect with respect. But I guess everyone’s definition of that is different.

[MusicTraveler]

  1 hour ago, florence720075 said:

It seems like no one reads my profile before jumping into some of the nastiest raunchiest most insidious messages I’ve ever read in my life. I realize that I am on a kink site, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me as less than a person. I personally will ignore any messages from anybody that is either outside of my distance or outside of my age comfort zone there’s no point in entertaining a conversation that is going nowhere at first I tried to be nice and let people down gently and that just guarded me morevery nasty. Very mean responses so now I just ignore everybody outside of what I’m looking for.

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So, I’m seeing that both men and women are equally receiving cruel responses when they are polite?

[La****]

  1 minute ago, MusicTraveler said:

That makes a lot of sense. I try to be respectful and sweet with my first message. Like I would be in person. It saddens me to see people not return respect with respect. But I guess everyone’s definition of that is different.

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You really wouldn't believe how many people turn from respectful to vicious in a heartbeat. We really can't tell who will react harshly, so we can't tell if you are someone it's safe to message back.

Again, don't take it personally. It isn't about you.

[MusicTraveler]

  4 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

You really wouldn't believe how many people turn from respectful to vicious in a heartbeat. We really can't tell who will react harshly, so we can't tell if you are someone it's safe to message back.

Again, don't take it personally. It isn't about you.

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It seems like it is both men and women on this site who see the sexual potential on the site and use it as an excuse to just be vile. Glad to see I’m not the only one. I’ll keep in mind what you said about not responding.
I didn’t *feel* ugly before I joined this site. I had pretty good luck on other apps, just no one really kinky. If finding someone kinky means I have to go through piles of creeps, I don’t know if I can hang. I’m slowly converting to just lurking and posting on the forums.

[La****]

So. I posted a poem yesterday about FET and sex app assumptions. A lot of people responded positively. There were obviously some negatives. But two people chose to message me privately to voice their unhappiness. I didn't like it. I felt like they were trying to have a dig while avoiding public censure. Best to keep it in the public forum, I think.

[Ca****]

Ok so DO THE GIFTS WORK OR NOT???
Can someone just answer the question???

[La****]

  Just now, CatchnSnapper said:

Ok so DO THE GIFTS WORK OR NOT???
Can someone just answer the question???

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General consensus was no 🤣

[MusicTraveler]

  7 minutes ago, CatchnSnapper said:

Ok so DO THE GIFTS WORK OR NOT???
Can someone just answer the question???

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😂😂 I think people generally said no. But I do enjoy being sweet to people I like on here, or elsewhere. I have a few people I’ve met here who I just text or SC now. Just like dating anywhere else, it’s 99% no’s. But all ya need is one yes, my man!

[so****]

  12 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

General consensus was no 🤣

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Thanks for the basic answer. Appreciated. I feel like I should gift you something for your help...

[Th****]

  20 minutes ago, CatchnSnapper said:

Ok so DO THE GIFTS WORK OR NOT???
Can someone just answer the question???

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Gifts don't do anything as many (including myself) have explained 

Edited Monday at 02:11 AM by TheMacabreBrat
Added more clarification

[Ag****]

Come on gentlemen. When has giving a woman a gift or spending *** on them ever created attraction... If the only reason they responded was because of the gift then you don't need them bro.

[FETMOD-TF]

I have done some housekeeping on this thread and removed many comments.

The forum is not a place for personal attacks and or squabbles and for that matter name calling.  If you have issues with a member, please address it privately and or block and report. 

Any further disputes and this thread will be locked and warnings forthcoming. Thank you to those who have stayed on topic. 

[Be****]

  1 minute ago, FETMOD-TF said:

I have done some housekeeping on this thread and removed many comments.

The forum is not a place for personal attacks and or squabbles and for that matter name calling.  If you have issues with a member, please address it privately and or block and report. 

Any further disputes and this thread will be locked and warnings forthcoming. Thank you to those who have stayed on topic. 

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It’s better to lock this thread .

[Pa****]

Afaik, you dont get points to bank from a gift / i havent noticed if you do. If you get points from a gift, ignore the comment lol.
*If you dont get points, well hellooooo, Fet ***ps wake up...

The gifts are redundant and somewhat silly, useless, and from what i have read in comments, annoying.
Some profiles have messages off or use filters. I have just read here, and now realize that those profiles that Only allow you to send a gift, but not message, are breaking through filters... possibly annoying or offending people, as they don't want to engage with those already blocked.
*So way to go Fet, annoying your own customers.
Also, it isnt like the person who gets the gift can do anything with it. So it basically is just stupid overall. (Unless as i said you get points???)
*IF the gift gave the receiver some points, to put towards a vip membership, maybe they would be usefull.

[Do****]

No. Everyone who uses “Match” dating sites including this and hello Cupid another’s, I’m not even sure they’re real people respond about 30% of the time. Sending those have little or no effect on the majority of the accounts. It’s more like fishing with dynamite. And hoping to grab what ever float to the surface.

[MusicTraveler]

  25 minutes ago, Panoptic said:

Afaik, you dont get points to bank from a gift / i havent noticed if you do. If you get points from a gift, ignore the comment lol.
*If you dont get points, well hellooooo, Fet ***ps wake up...

The gifts are redundant and somewhat silly, useless, and from what i have read in comments, annoying.
Some profiles have messages off or use filters. I have just read here, and now realize that those profiles that Only allow you to send a gift, but not message, are breaking through filters... possibly annoying or offending people, as they don't want to engage with those already blocked.
*So way to go Fet, annoying your own customers.
Also, it isnt like the person who gets the gift can do anything with it. So it basically is just stupid overall. (Unless as i said you get points???)
*IF the gift gave the receiver some points, to put towards a vip membership, maybe they would be usefull.

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I would love if there was another way to engage users. I’m super sound motivated. A way to post a daily voice note/song link/story like on other social apps, would be game changing, though likely expensive to implement.

[No****]

I honestly dont even know what those mean or what they are for. So when i have seen i dont do anything at all

[GL****]

  1 hour ago, FETMOD-TF said:

I have done some housekeeping on this thread and removed many comments.

The forum is not a place for personal attacks and or squabbles and for that matter name calling.  If you have issues with a member, please address it privately and or block and report. 

Any further disputes and this thread will be locked and warnings forthcoming. Thank you to those who have stayed on topic. 

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The only gift I usually send is the cheers one and the only reason I would send that is if the woman has some kind of message filter that filtered me out. That is very rare because I respect people’s filters but sometimes if I think there might be a vibe there for me, I will send it and leave it up to them. If they don’t respond, they simply just aren’t interested. I know I’m not for everyone.

[Al****]

So, what is a good opening respectful thing to say, that will get a response? I have messaged some of the people that have responded to this thread, without even getting a response. I think it is kind of rude to not even respond.

[Pa****]

To answer the OP: i have sent maybe 6 to 10 gifts. Pretty sure 1 in 10 replied, but there was no filter, so they prob would have replied anyways. I have had many convos, and met several off of here, without gifts/ none were sent to them, just messages. So from my experience, the gifts do not equate to replies.

[Pa****]

@Alexlamers : Well...
- people are busy. Trying to reply to 200 msgs a day, even to just be polite, is often just not possible. The ratio of men to women is usually pretty high and they get overwhelmed prob the most.
- make sure there are photos and info in your profile.
- if they dont 'feel a match' from your pic or profile, a 'no thanks' reply to some guys can lead to even more msgs / nasty msgs, and require a block, as once you reply to one message, it allows many messages to be sent through. So just no reply is easier / saves everyones time.
- again, busy: i have gotten a reply to a msg a few days later, a week later, even a month later.
- a good opener would be to be polite, refer to something in their profile that is interesting to you / shared in common. Extra info about you. A well thought out question re something in their profile, goals, experiences, etc.
- any generic "hi", "whats up" or anything under a few sentances / a small paragraph is usually ignored, unless your pics catch their eye. (What i have been told).
- if sending a message off a forum post like this, what did you like about their comment? Would they like to chat more? Then, pending the above, they may or may not reply lol.
(I am on a plane and have more free time than usual to type all this LOL. Usually, i would not comment, or reply, lol, too busy)

[Th****]

  32 minutes ago, Alexlamers said:

So, what is a good opening respectful thing to say, that will get a response? I have messaged some of the people that have responded to this thread, without even getting a response. I think it is kind of rude to not even respond.

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Respect that nobody owes you anything.  Blindly messaging women never has a good outcome. No response is a response 

[GL****]

  4 hours ago, GLOWfiend said:

The only gift I usually send is the cheers one and the only reason I would send that is if the woman has some kind of message filter that filtered me out. That is very rare because I respect people’s filters but sometimes if I think there might be a vibe there for me, I will send it and leave it up to them. If they don’t respond, they simply just aren’t interested. I know I’m not for everyone.

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I have been reading some of the guys’s responses here smh. I’ve been on this app for almost 4 years and I found lots of quality women. With the way, some of you men are on here It’s actually helped me. Some of you need to do some real internal work. Quit chasing women you know damn well are way out of your league. Then getting upset because you don’t get a response . You need to take your ego and pride out of this . Find someone you can connect with on multiple levels.. If you call yourself a Dom… put some actual real effort, thought time into honing your craft. Quit doing this shit for selfish reasons. A Doms role is to help their submissive thrive in their submission in whatever way that looks like to her. She doesn’t know… it’s your fucking job to help her figure it out. Some of y’all need to quit watching Fifty Shades of Grey and bondage porn and actually do some real research. Quit bashing this app because you have flaws and weaknesses that you haven’t accepted. Rant over!!!

[Al****]

@TheMacabreBrat, I never said anyone owes me anything. I'm just saying that a written response would be courteous and polite.

[Al****]

@Panoptic, thanks for your insight, and response.