Do All Female Doms Require a Financial Tribute?

[Deleted Member]

There’s no such thing as a domme female. It’s always women driven by men or financial incentive to pretend to be dominant. Every “domme” I have met in my life turned out to be extremely submissive or just a brat who needed to be tamed tbh.

[Clarakink]

1 hour ago, hacknslashman said:

There’s no such thing as a domme female. It’s always women driven by men or financial incentive to pretend to be dominant. Every “domme” I have met in my life turned out to be extremely submissive or just a brat who needed to be tamed tbh.

Oh dear.
We are all entitled to our opinions. Otherwise, life would be very dull.

I can not agree with this one, though, and can only think that perhaps female Doms have just not wanted to play with you. Hence, you haven't yet met one.

We most certainly do exist, and are not driven by either men or ***.

[Xabazulla]

Clarakink you are right, you’re the kind of domme that should be on fet. 😘😘🌷💗

[ey****]

I think one of the things - is that... there are people who don't find what they're looking for which usually comes down to one of two things

1) it is actually hard

2) something they are doing makes things harder again

but it's easier to kinda find ways to blame others, or deny anything exists than to face up to the above 

[Pi****]

I am not a professional domme, I find that even though I am real, and a rare bird- while I should be appreciated I am not. I am treated as though I should be there for his demands and do it for free. While I am not going to become a professional I have no problem with those who are. I truly feel that the males here don’t even want a true dominant woman- they only want free kink machines. That’s not me either.

[Do****]

Sunday at 04:38 AM, hacknslashman said:

There’s no such thing as a domme female. It’s always women driven by men or financial incentive to pretend to be dominant. Every “domme” I have met in my life turned out to be extremely submissive or just a brat who needed to be tamed tbh.

You just haven’t found the naturally dominant women then. I can assure you that I am not submissive and absolutely don’t want to be tamed.

[Do****]

4 hours ago, PillowPrincess1 said:

I am not a professional domme, I find that even though I am real, and a rare bird- while I should be appreciated I am not. I am treated as though I should be there for his demands and do it for free. While I am not going to become a professional I have no problem with those who are. I truly feel that the males here don’t even want a true dominant woman- they only want free kink machines. That’s not me either.

A sub who expects you to be there for his demands should be released and another one sought. No one needs a demanding sub. That’s hard work! And we certainly aren’t free kink machines.
I can honestly say there are lots of subbies who are seeking a truly dominant lady. And subbies who are not/playing games/don’t know how to respect a Domme are instantly rejected. I’m quite happy to chat with subs and help them find what they’re looking for if they’re struggling. But if they aren’t seeking a real Domme then they just need ignoring until they work out what they’re looking for and who they should be approaching.

[Dom4dom]

Yes im struggling to find a dom who

Just wants to dom 😢 they all want cash

[Do****]

2 hours ago, Dom4dom said:

Yes im struggling to find a dom who

Just wants to dom 😢 they all want cash

You’d be better starting with sorting your profile out. Nothing on your profile suggests a real Domme should take you seriously.

[Deleted Member]

I take care of my submissive. I’m dominant in every aspect, why the F would I need them to pay for things etc. If they want to spoil me and do things for me as any other relationship, great but it’s not a requirement if it’s an actual relationship.

[StrictMaster44]

4 minutes ago, PlayfulDomme said:

I take care of my submissive. I’m dominant in every aspect, why the F would I need them to pay for things etc. If they want to spoil me and do things for me as any other relationship, great but it’s not a requirement if it’s an actual relationship.

That's how it should be. Left up to the Sub to do on their own. Not ***d

[Deleted Member]

I’ve been in this lifestyle for 12 years and I’ve never had to truly “***” anything.

[Brooksong]

Ok, just read this entire thread....wow!!! Let me start by saying that I am a real life Lifestyle Domme. I started out with "Old Guard" rules for myself which means I learned about the lifestyle as a sub and then became a Domme completely. I have been in this lifestyle almost 20 years in the real world and I am a community leader in my local rl community. I came to this site out of curiosity.

 

As to the tributes question, no, not all Domme ask for tributes. I never have. I even demanded that any sub that wanted to serve me was not to gift me anything. Some subs beg and I will relent only if I feel that they understand I do not need gifts. The Domme that ask for tributes are professional ones. And if that is what they want to do, so be it. And if subs desire to pay...great for them both! But, you subs need to understand the difference. Lifestyle Domme do not require tributes because we live this lifestyle...it's NOT a job for us. It is who we are.

 

So, for those subs that think we do not exist...I am proof positive (along with the other ladies that have stated that about themselves)...we DO exist. Matter of fact I know a lot of real world Lifestyle Domme. But I also know Pro and FinDomme in the real world. And Lifestyle Domme do not require tribute monetarily...period.

 

As to who takes care of who...it is like any relationship and you take care of each other. Domme provides to the sub, many things. Sub provides many things in return. They are negotiated out and communicated fully when the time is right. But communication is key.

 

And now back to your regularly scheduled thread...lol!!!

[Deleted Member]

33 minutes ago, Brooksong said:

Ok, just read this entire thread....wow!!! Let me start by saying that I am a real life Lifestyle Domme. I started out with "Old Guard" rules for myself which means I learned about the lifestyle as a sub and then became a Domme completely. I have been in this lifestyle almost 20 years in the real world and I am a community leader in my local rl community. I came to this site out of curiosity.

 

As to the tributes question, no, not all Domme ask for tributes. I never have. I even demanded that any sub that wanted to serve me was not to gift me anything. Some subs beg and I will relent only if I feel that they understand I do not need gifts. The Domme that ask for tributes are professional ones. And if that is what they want to do, so be it. And if subs desire to pay...great for them both! But, you subs need to understand the difference. Lifestyle Domme do not require tributes because we live this lifestyle...it's NOT a job for us. It is who we are.

 

So, for those subs that think we do not exist...I am proof positive (along with the other ladies that have stated that about themselves)...we DO exist. Matter of fact I know a lot of real world Lifestyle Domme. But I also know Pro and FinDomme in the real world. And Lifestyle Domme do not require tribute monetarily...period.

 

As to who takes care of who...it is like any relationship and you take care of each other. Domme provides to the sub, many things. Sub provides many things in return. They are negotiated out and communicated fully when the time is right. But communication is key.

 

And now back to your regularly scheduled thread...lol!!!

Amen ***!

[Fa****]

October 1, hacknslashman said:

There’s no such thing as a domme female. It’s always women driven by men or financial incentive to pretend to be dominant. Every “domme” I have met in my life turned out to be extremely submissive or just a brat who needed to be tamed tbh.

Hello sexism

[LadyV]

I'm a Dominant/Sadist and I'm happily married to my sub. I don't require *** and I typically make more *** than my partners anyways. I do require that I find a sub both interesting and attractive according to my own personal standards and preferences. Unfortunately, most don't qualify. Not because my standards are especially difficult (literally, just be a reasonably put together human being who I can have a decent conversation with), it's because most men in the dating pool are incredibly low effort. They want everything for nothing in return and then get so angry when the answer to that is, "no." 

 

I'm also queer and not terribly interested in cishet men to begin with because cishet male subs in my experience tend to be greedy bottoms seeking a free sex worker or free Pro-Domme to service their assholes and spoon-feed them all their self-centered fetishes instead of having an actual relationship and power dynamic. So, I don't typically date cishet men. I have had better experiences with subs of other demographics (including queer and trans men). 

 

There's also no small amount of misogyny saturating your average cishet male sub. Hence why we have idiots in here claiming "Dominant women don't exist, all women are subs!" or "they only exist for men/***!" These are pretty damn bog standard misogynistic statements that are obviously incorrect for anyone who has ever bothered to interact with real world kinksters and witness real world relationships. Misogynistic statements like that are a pretty strong indicator to me that I'm talking to a porn addict man who only has "online experience" and doesn't want to have to leave his house. Just order up his fantasies served hot and fresh in 30 minutes or less from Dommino's. 

 

What too many cishet male subs consistently fail to understand is this:

1. If you want D/s as a service provided to you with you giving no effort, no time investment on your part, and no requirement that the other person likes you or finds you attractive...you're gonna have to invest *** and pay for it. 

2. If you want D/s to be "free"...you're going to have to invest a lot of personal time and emotional/social effort into getting another human being (who has to ALSO initially feel potentially attracted to you and be compatible with you, not just you feeling that way towards them) to like you enough as a person, and trust you enough, and also be attracted enough to want to do those things with specifically you. 

 

Spoilers: Option 2 is waaaay more difficult (and sometimes more expensive in a huge multitude of ways) than Option 1 because that's how human relationships work for all of us.  

 

It seems most horny sub men on the internet want the zero effort, instant gratification sex-service provider experience but with the no-cost treatment from non-pro strangers. That is not remotely realistic to expect. It's fucking illogical. Everything always costs something, *** or effort. This isn't rocket science. 

 

The more submissive men refuse to acknowledge the reality of this, the longer they'll just stay alone. 🤷‍♀️

[Clarakink]

18 hours ago, LadyV said:

I'm a Dominant/Sadist and I'm happily married to my sub. I don't require *** and I typically make more *** than my partners anyways. I do require that I find a sub both interesting and attractive according to my own personal standards and preferences. Unfortunately, most don't qualify. Not because my standards are especially difficult (literally, just be a reasonably put together human being who I can have a decent conversation with), it's because most men in the dating pool are incredibly low effort. They want everything for nothing in return and then get so angry when the answer to that is, "no." 

 

I'm also queer and not terribly interested in cishet men to begin with because cishet male subs in my experience tend to be greedy bottoms seeking a free sex worker or free Pro-Domme to service their assholes and spoon-feed them all their self-centered fetishes instead of having an actual relationship and power dynamic. So, I don't typically date cishet men. I have had better experiences with subs of other demographics (including queer and trans men). 

 

There's also no small amount of misogyny saturating your average cishet male sub. Hence why we have idiots in here claiming "Dominant women don't exist, all women are subs!" or "they only exist for men/***!" These are pretty damn bog standard misogynistic statements that are obviously incorrect for anyone who has ever bothered to interact with real world kinksters and witness real world relationships. Misogynistic statements like that are a pretty strong indicator to me that I'm talking to a porn addict man who only has "online experience" and doesn't want to have to leave his house. Just order up his fantasies served hot and fresh in 30 minutes or less from Dommino's. 

 

What too many cishet male subs consistently fail to understand is this:

1. If you want D/s as a service provided to you with you giving no effort, no time investment on your part, and no requirement that the other person likes you or finds you attractive...you're gonna have to invest *** and pay for it. 

2. If you want D/s to be "free"...you're going to have to invest a lot of personal time and emotional/social effort into getting another human being (who has to ALSO initially feel potentially attracted to you and be compatible with you, not just you feeling that way towards them) to like you enough as a person, and trust you enough, and also be attracted enough to want to do those things with specifically you. 

 

Spoilers: Option 2 is waaaay more difficult (and sometimes more expensive in a huge multitude of ways) than Option 1 because that's how human relationships work for all of us.  

 

It seems most horny sub men on the internet want the zero effort, instant gratification sex-service provider experience but with the no-cost treatment from non-pro strangers. That is not remotely realistic to expect. It's fucking illogical. Everything always costs something, *** or effort. This isn't rocket science. 

 

The more submissive men refuse to acknowledge the reality of this, the longer they'll just stay alone. 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely spot on.

[Pi****]

Yesterday at 11:04 PM, LadyV said:

I'm a Dominant/Sadist and I'm happily married to my sub. I don't require *** and I typically make more *** than my partners anyways. I do require that I find a sub both interesting and attractive according to my own personal standards and preferences. Unfortunately, most don't qualify. Not because my standards are especially difficult (literally, just be a reasonably put together human being who I can have a decent conversation with), it's because most men in the dating pool are incredibly low effort. They want everything for nothing in return and then get so angry when the answer to that is, "no." 

 

I'm also queer and not terribly interested in cishet men to begin with because cishet male subs in my experience tend to be greedy bottoms seeking a free sex worker or free Pro-Domme to service their assholes and spoon-feed them all their self-centered fetishes instead of having an actual relationship and power dynamic. So, I don't typically date cishet men. I have had better experiences with subs of other demographics (including queer and trans men). 

 

There's also no small amount of misogyny saturating your average cishet male sub. Hence why we have idiots in here claiming "Dominant women don't exist, all women are subs!" or "they only exist for men/***!" These are pretty damn bog standard misogynistic statements that are obviously incorrect for anyone who has ever bothered to interact with real world kinksters and witness real world relationships. Misogynistic statements like that are a pretty strong indicator to me that I'm talking to a porn addict man who only has "online experience" and doesn't want to have to leave his house. Just order up his fantasies served hot and fresh in 30 minutes or less from Dommino's. 

 

What too many cishet male subs consistently fail to understand is this:

1. If you want D/s as a service provided to you with you giving no effort, no time investment on your part, and no requirement that the other person likes you or finds you attractive...you're gonna have to invest *** and pay for it. 

2. If you want D/s to be "free"...you're going to have to invest a lot of personal time and emotional/social effort into getting another human being (who has to ALSO initially feel potentially attracted to you and be compatible with you, not just you feeling that way towards them) to like you enough as a person, and trust you enough, and also be attracted enough to want to do those things with specifically you. 

 

Spoilers: Option 2 is waaaay more difficult (and sometimes more expensive in a huge multitude of ways) than Option 1 because that's how human relationships work for all of us.  

 

It seems most horny sub men on the internet want the zero effort, instant gratification sex-service provider experience but with the no-cost treatment from non-pro strangers. That is not remotely realistic to expect. It's fucking illogical. Everything always costs something, *** or effort. This isn't rocket science. 

 

The more submissive men refuse to acknowledge the reality of this, the longer they'll just stay alone. 🤷‍♀️

You said every single thing right there. Thank you

[ey****]

I was reading an interesting post elsewhere the other day - and I dunno if this is quite the right thread, maybe it is - maybe not.

But

In the post the lady was telling about when she was younger and was pressured into sex with her then boyfriend. She agreed, mostly to shut him up.  She hated every minute of it.  And he must have been able to tell. He finished anyway, then asked how it was for her. To which she simply replied, "it hurt"

A lot of the simple issue was that the guy was focused entirely on his own satisfaction, with very little concern for her sexual wants or needs (which in this case, not being pressured for sex before she was ready)

She says, years on, that so many self-declared submissive guys remind her of this ex-boyfriend.  In the sense they lead with fetishes, or however they try to dress it up - make it all about their needs than their partners - and is masked under 'submission' as if they are somehow doing the person a favour.

And to be honest. Her story is not unique.  

I guess a lot ties in with the general saying that, more women would be into Femdom if it actually benefitted them.   But a lot is often centred around the wants and fetishes of the man in the scenario.   And this is how it always comes across when the approach is fetishes ahead of actually getting to know someone (I know the old dilemma "I have a foot fetish, me spending time on a relationship only to find my partner isn't into that doesn't help either of us..." but, y'know... there's always better ways to come across)
 

And some of this does play into where a lot of paid stuff comes from and why it's not going away.

If I wanted to have sexy talk today, I could guarantee it by paying someone.  If I wanted to suck some toes tomorrow. Pay someone.  If I wanted to try a specific kink and... arggh, how do I find someone into this and what if they know all about it but end up not liking it... pay someone.

And obviously I'm not saying contact strangers and ask them what their sexual needs are - but I guess if you get to know someone you're interested in, like actually showing an interest, there'll be more people respond than the "sure, pay me" 

[LadyV]

7 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I was reading an interesting post elsewhere the other day - and I dunno if this is quite the right thread, maybe it is - maybe not.

But

In the post the lady was telling about when she was younger and was pressured into sex with her then boyfriend. She agreed, mostly to shut him up.  She hated every minute of it.  And he must have been able to tell. He finished anyway, then asked how it was for her. To which she simply replied, "it hurt"

A lot of the simple issue was that the guy was focused entirely on his own satisfaction, with very little concern for her sexual wants or needs (which in this case, not being pressured for sex before she was ready)

She says, years on, that so many self-declared submissive guys remind her of this ex-boyfriend.  In the sense they lead with fetishes, or however they try to dress it up - make it all about their needs than their partners - and is masked under 'submission' as if they are somehow doing the person a favour.

And to be honest. Her story is not unique.  

I guess a lot ties in with the general saying that, more women would be into Femdom if it actually benefitted them.   But a lot is often centred around the wants and fetishes of the man in the scenario.   And this is how it always comes across when the approach is fetishes ahead of actually getting to know someone (I know the old dilemma "I have a foot fetish, me spending time on a relationship only to find my partner isn't into that doesn't help either of us..." but, y'know... there's always better ways to come across)
 

And some of this does play into where a lot of paid stuff comes from and why it's not going away.

If I wanted to have sexy talk today, I could guarantee it by paying someone.  If I wanted to suck some toes tomorrow. Pay someone.  If I wanted to try a specific kink and... arggh, how do I find someone into this and what if they know all about it but end up not liking it... pay someone.

And obviously I'm not saying contact strangers and ask them what their sexual needs are - but I guess if you get to know someone you're interested in, like actually showing an interest, there'll be more people respond than the "sure, pay me" 

Lol, exactly this. Almost like **DOMINANT** women tend not to be interested in being unpaid fetish *servants* and sex *slaves* to horny, misogynistic, entitled, and selfish men.

 

Huh, who could have possibly predicted that? 🤣

 

"A kink for power and authority means they actually want REAL power and authority, and NOT to serve me up all my fantasies and cater to my penis?! How is this possible????!!!!"

 

Then they wonder why so many D-type women go totally low profile or go, "Fuck you, pay me." 

[Deleted Member]

In my current situation I try to keep payments to a minimum however if things were to change in my life I could see a time where I could hand over large portions of my income to the right person.

[Dominancy]

On 4/17/2020 at 5:27 PM, Inchoate123 said:

I true dominant will take care of their submissive in every way. it is not up to the submissive to provide for the dominant.

False. Only mommy takes care of the child. A grown-up male creature should be able to provide. Or feel this and be ashamed if his financial situation is so bad that paying for and making gifts to a woman is such a concern that he looks for a second mommy. Gigolos are not men. Skinny guys make me sick.

[LittleMissPoison]

I am a professional female dominatrix and this is how I work,and successfully for 12 years....

My time is not free....this is my job, my passion and I'm fucking good at it.

I am here to fulfil your fetishes.wishes.dreams.whatever you want I endeavour to meet these, discretely,professionally, safely.

I want you to enjoy the experience 

[Sl****]

If I may ask, okay fine payment is a part of the process (unless there’s a legitimate relationship involved) how do I avoid getting scammed

[Sl****]

Sorry if this is a stupid question