Difference between submissive and slave

[Deleted Member]

I recently was told a submissive is a slave. I disagree, opinions?

[cautiousswitch]

This might be one of those all slaves are submissive but not all submissives are slaves deals.

I am primarily a submissive.  I have allowed people to call me slave during a session but once the session is over they stop - it's not even a role play thing, it's acknowledgement that for that session they are in charge.  In another session the same domme might use a completely different word to show dominance, I am always the submissive except the few times that I switch (where I still have a submissive mindset).

Outside of a kink session despite the attempts of family, the government, my boss, or the idiot who opened a conversation yesterday with "i am your new master" I am not a slave.  I have only ever met one person who I would seriously consider starting an owner/slave relationship with but she has never asked and even if she did there is a chance I would still say no.

---But if you were twuly submissive you would do whatever you were told and that makes you a slave...

No.  Submissive does not equal stupid.

[Deleted Member]

I also disagree with this statement and debated it with someone not long ago. I’m Submissive but don’t view myself as a Slave however as he pointed out, that because I’ve never identified as a Slave I can’t comment as to how they feel within their dynamic. The reason I chose to identify as Sub and not slave wasn’t because It sounded more glamorous or that I’m opposed to the word but I knew my character that whilst submissive would still need reasoning in the acts I’m asked to complete.... I didn’t feel the slave role would lend itself to that thought process. Yes I’m Submissive, yes I’ll follow orders and complete tasks, yes I’ll take punishments but I’m doing all these things I will seek clarity as to why they’re being asked off me and was it to aid growth or purely for sexual gratification. I don’t believe a person in a Slave role would need this clarity but like I say I can only comment on the role I chose and the one I understand. That being said if I was referred to as a Slave I’d challenge it.

[Deleted Member]

No, opposite is. A slave is originally a submissive. Slave is an unconditional property status. Once they agreed on the dynamics they don’t have any power on their lives. It’s all down to their Master to provide for them. But it’s for the weak and idiots, you have the responsibility of another human being never forget that important point!

[Kriss123]

I am a sub slave and let me point this out needgreen..
No one provides for me and never will..

[NaughtyBabygirlx]

In my opinion... a submissive is one who can set their limits, alter their limits, have a safe word, some control etc..a slave only has the limits their master sets, they have no control, no safe word. Master knows best. But generally always starts with a submissive and can progress to slave. That's just how I see the difference. I'm a slave x

[NaughtyBabygirlx]

Also a submissive isnt property. They are not owned. A slave is 😍

[Wo****]

“But it’s NOT for the weak and idiots, you have the responsibility of another human being never forget that important point”

[ey****]

There's a lot of different articles on this in the web (just search 'difference between a sub and slave' and enjoy the rabbit hole) and a lot of disagreements on where the line is

I especially recommend Kate Kinseys

Cos of that; I hate to deal in absolutes. There are common agreements but, in general a slave would never negotiate or say 'no' without some form of comeback or punishment. Of course, a good owner would also know the extent to their capabilities so would never ask anything which shouldn't be met with obedience.  

 

[Deleted Member]

I disagree with fabserverus on a few things......a slave never gives up their right to say no (unless they have agreed to those conditions - which they can choose to change at any time since actually slavery isn't legal) nor does it stop the use of a safe word-EVER because that is not consensual...........too many people forget that a doms true purpose is to please their sub or slave- you just need to match what you want with what the sub/slave is looking to do, and then the dom gives them the opps to do that...........

Slaves also tend to be people who want to make the purpose of their life to be focusing on their master/mistresses wants, needs, comfort etc. Subs don't usually still have a avery strong grasp on living their OWN

[Deleted Member]

Lesson One: The Dominant Is Not (Really) In Charge
Not at all, not ever, and especially not with someone who trusts you enough to be "in charge" of a scene or fantasy. Because it must be emphasized repeatedly: as a Dominant you are not in charge. At best, you are a co author in this story. As such, you need to be aware of your partner just as much as yourself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What you are going to find out, is that the Dom/Master actually has the more complicated role. The master has the task of giving pleasure and discipline to the slave or sub. A great deal of what you do as a Dom will be for the benefit of a sub. You must derive pleasure from giving, have a great desire to please a partner, and not simply take what you want.
 
Still interested? Good. Now that we know you’re a REAL master in training, one that will respect the rules, respect the slave you have power over, and follow protocol, you can begin your Dom training. Only then can you truly earn the utmost respect and admiration from your sub.

[Deleted Member]

Excellent dissection of the dominate role.  99% of Doms will never admit to this as they need to be seen to have all the power, whether it be from an egotistical  point of view or because they are trying to hide the lack of experience and knowledge. If you give your power away, you will receive some much back from a sub.

[Ti****]

Isn't there a rule that there must always be a safe word/Signal and pre/post card

[Ti****]

So to say a slave still has power over the Dom/master

[Deleted Member]

U know I get a little confused on this too but here’s my thought. If you are not into a “committed lifestyle” of sub/dom or master/slave it can be whatever wording you want. As for me I’m in a weird relationship sort of where I let him think he’s the boss. 😘lol but on here I cover all the bases and just say I’m a sado slave sub whore that loves ***. They get the picture. I think it might also be called a bottom? Just my thoughts. No ones complained yet😊😊😊

[Wo****]

I always thought slave was like submissive++, just a more intense version.

[Th****]

A a slave is a form of submissive but there are many submissive forms such as little, brat, pet and more so while slave is sub, sub is not necessarily slave

[do****]

Actually it’s sub/slave are the same just like dom/master are thr same

[Deleted Member]

On 4/21/2020 at 8:14 PM, Tigren said:

Isn't there a rule that there must always be a safe word/Signal and pre/post card

yes!!

[Deleted Member]

On 4/21/2020 at 8:15 PM, Tigren said:

So to say a slave still has power over the Dom/master

absolutely in the sense of the 'power' can be taken back by the sub or slave or any submissive if the Dominant partner is abusing the power and not honoring limits and safe words

[Deleted Member]

They are absolutely not the same. Although, they are also not mutually exclusive. One can obviously also be the other. However, in a traditional Dom/sub relationship, there is equal exchange. When one chooses to be a slave, they generally have less autonomy. They must ask permission for just about every little thing. They have a more stringent set of protocols, and usually has masochistic tendencies. A Dominant in the traditional sense, is a teacher, guide, and parent type figure to a submissive. A "Master" on the other hand, is usually also some form of sadist. In the "New school" the terms have become incorrectly interchangeable.

[ey****]

I've kinda enjoyed how this thread/discussion has played out and reverts back to some stuff in the blog I recommended.  That people kinda feel there is a difference but has different ideas on where the line is.

I think the important thing is to concentrate on what works in your own dynamic.  The type of role you want to be and the type of person you want to be with.

But, like...

This slave.

Can they end the agreement without being sold, shot, bought or thrown out?  If so, they're not really a slave. If not then this is illegal.

My point is - whatever you agree in the relationship, wherever you draw the line it's all just agreed protocols in the relationship.  And that's OK.  

Some people might like the illusion that there's no means of saying "no" - but, y'know, the law still says otherwise.  

 

[Ky****]

yes, slave in our culture is still a game, no one is going to feed me to a monster because I invoke a limit so ultimately its another form of D/ roleplay, although to work it probably needs slightly different dynamics in terms of more time spent together than some other forms, house invasion & CNC can work well if you only see tour playmate infrequently and have lives apart- slave play maybe not, unless part of it is to escape/be manumitted at the end of it-remember a pro-Domme who used to use that approach

[Jeckmansr]

Wow a lot of back-and-forth there.
I found some good comments and liked them for that.

Let me explain my dynamic.

I am not now but I have been owned by 4 Mistresses in my life.
My role was/is simply to Keep Mistress happy, safe and pleased and so then shall I be pleased.
I can see the wheels turning from here I don’t even have to look at y’all.

Keep her happy, safe and pleased?

It’s because I work double duty.

I am a switch when Mistress allows it.
I am her bodyguard/protector when we were out in public.

The way I was brought up was that a woman was to be cherished loved and adored. And then I had my first experience at being a submissive.
Which ultimately was a slave to an older girl. And I love that dynamic. TPE
I will do anything please the woman I’m with. Always have even if it wasn’t congruent  with the lifestyle.
When I know the woman that I’m with is pleased, that pleases me. 

I am not a fool and I am not lazy I bring everything I have to the table for any Mistress willing to own me. And yes that makes me a slave, but only to her.