Natkinns Posted April 21, 2020 Posted April 21, 2020 So I tried telling my partner what I want during sex because vanilla sex just isn't doing it for me anymore. I suffer from general anxiety and vanilla sex isn't enough for me to stop being anxious and actually enjoy sex, I just end up tense, in *** and in tears afterwards feeling like a used tissue. I told him I wanted him to be rough and a bit ***ful and use a little bit of ***... He equated this to, "so you want me to *** you". That's not at all what I want, I don't have a *** fetish and I just... It upset me that that's what he thinks I want/meant... Any tips of explaining things to him? Because he thinks "you just have sex", but I need more...
Deleted Member Posted April 21, 2020 Posted April 21, 2020 Hi. Never easy to bring up and sorry you got the reaction you did. You need to communicate as clearly as you can to him what you want him to do / are interested in, if you know x Maybe find an erotic story that is close to the experience you want with him, or even videos, to share with him, or research together, as he might read / see thing he might like to do too. Good luck ! x
Pl**** Posted April 22, 2020 Posted April 22, 2020 So men are visual creatures, have you tried watching porn with him?? The is so much out there that can reflect your preferences. This way he has a better idea. If he isn't clear of what you like prior to having sex you can also try and give him a little direction during sex with some dirty talk. Sometimes you have to slowly introduce new things one at a time and then let him get comfortable with that so he can graduate to more thing.
Deleted Member Posted April 22, 2020 Posted April 22, 2020 He’s an idiot! My ex was the same way as yours is and I’m like you with panic attacks etc. he would never do anything out of the norm so needless to say we’ve been divorced 15+ years! But guess what? We’re dating and guess who’s going to swaps and clubs etc with me?! He does his thing and I do mine and sometimes together. Compromise. Who would have thunk it. Right?
Mo**** Posted April 22, 2020 Posted April 22, 2020 1 hour ago, NailsPLZ said: He’s an idiot! My ex was the same way as yours is and I’m like you with panic attacks etc. he would never do anything out of the norm so needless to say we’ve been divorced 15+ years! But guess what? We’re dating and guess who’s going to swaps and clubs etc with me?! He does his thing and I do mine and sometimes together. Compromise. Who would have thunk it. Right? Sometimes girl, when you think back to what got you into him in the first place, doesn't really die off. GROWTH is the thing, first as an individual, and secondly as a couple. This growth MUST continue in tandem, not just from one perspective, so now your discovering each other all over again, and I am guessing you are both finding much more enjoyment in life.
Wo**** Posted April 22, 2020 Posted April 22, 2020 13 hours ago, Natkinns said: So I tried telling my partner what I want during sex because vanilla sex just isn't doing it for me anymore. I suffer from general anxiety and vanilla sex isn't enough for me to stop being anxious and actually enjoy sex, I just end up tense, in *** and in tears afterwards feeling like a used tissue. I told him I wanted him to be rough and a bit ***ful and use a little bit of ***... He equated this to, "so you want me to *** you". That's not at all what I want, I don't have a *** fetish and I just... It upset me that that's what he thinks I want/meant... Any tips of explaining things to him? Because he thinks "you just have sex", but I need more... Maybe write down the stuff you wanna do? Describe how you see it happening, tell him a story. In his defence "rough, ***ful sex with some ***" could suggest *** play. How did he react? Was he shocked? Up for giving it a go? You've opened this up, carry on talking to him. You know what you want, he doesn't, so you gotta tell him.
FoxRevontulet Posted May 8, 2020 Posted May 8, 2020 Try a different angle. A short story or excerpt. You don't want ***, u want feisty passion. Sex so eager half the clothes didnt come off because he wanted to be within you. Thrusting harder and pinning you trying to reach deeper pleasure spots and make you feel deeply desired and wanted. I'm always mortified when a guy wants to go down on me even through I enjoy the feelings I'm embraced. But if they want it and they are shoving my legs apart and growling out a command to stay still and let them then I know they are doing it because they want to do it and that makes me feel desired and get over the shy factor
Recommended Posts