Permission granted...now what?

[Deleted Member]

My wife/Mistress has health issues that have her sex drive and libido at absolute zer. She knows my libido remains strong and that I have always been a bi-switch. She understands my needs. I am devoted to her as my wife. But she knows I need more. I have been given permission and complete discretion in finding someone with whom to exercise my needs. I need to find a dominant female or other playmate for casual expression of shared fetishes. But I don't know where to begin.

[ey****]

I think, first off, even though your wife is happy for you to do this - the question is to make sure you establish boundaries on what she may or may not be happy for you to do.

Secondly - while your situation is not unique (I'm married!) it is obviously something that can limit others who may be interested in a relationship with you 

At the moment, of course, a lot of options are closed.

I'd usually recommend getting involved in a local kink community - but remembering this can take a while to build up connections and rapport : or : sometimes the simplest and easy thing is to start seeing a Pro, especially as it's much easier to research who may be 'right' for you.    Both of these are obviously closed avenues right now and for the foreseeable future.

So.  Take the downtime to research kink.  To understand what you are looking for.  To understand what is reasonable for you to expect and what incentive someone has to share this time with you - use the time to boost knowledge to your advantage.

[Deleted Member]

I would seek a professional in your case.

[Wo****]

58 minutes ago, Midlifecrisispanties said:

My wife/Mistress has health issues that have her sex drive and libido at absolute zer. She knows my libido remains strong and that I have always been a bi-switch. She understands my needs. I am devoted to her as my wife. But she knows I need more. I have been given permission and complete discretion in finding someone with whom to exercise my needs. I need to find a dominant female or other playmate for casual expression of shared fetishes. But I don't know where to begin.

Get to know people, build relationships. Be patient.

I took a look at your profile, i really hope you find someone. It is possible. Your wife sounds amazing btw, and there are women out there that will accept, respect, and appreciate how special your relationship is with your wife while being able to engage in a relationship with you.

 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you for your responses. I know I'm not going to just leap into anything. The marriage is not in jeopardy. When we began 20 years ago, I was the Dominant. My switch was gradual and I have not lost the capacity to top.But she understands the needs that have developed from the perspective of a formerly active submissive. And she is in a place where trying to manage those needs along with other things in her life, is just asking too much. The things we have been through as a couple and remained strong for 19 years, is proof to us at least, that this arrangement is a sound proposal. It is up to me to make the proposal sound in practice.

[Deleted Member]

I read your profile and I dont think you're high maintenance. You know what you like and you know your limits. That's a good person to play with.

[Deleted Member]

30 minutes ago, MsWhiteRose said:

I read your profile and I dont think you're high maintenance. You know what you like and you know your limits. That's a good person to play with.

Thank you.  I'm working on the comprehensive list for my intro page. I just want to be totally clear where I stand, so that people don't think I'm just playing around or trolling.

[Da****]

Similar situation with my wife, best thing to do is be honest like you're already doing, people will come just be open to it 😉

[Deleted Member]

Yes, that seems to make the most sense Daddy.