Safe words

[Wo****]

For me, having a safe word, and signal, is essential.

As a highly masochistic submissive I've rarely had to use it, and I readily admit I challenge myself and push myself, test my limits but only because I know that the instant I use my safe word Pirate heeds it.

If someone disregards my safe word, or limits, that's a deal breaker for me.

Safe words should be respected, and USED. There's no shame, it doesn't mean you're weak, or something is wrong, it means you communicate.

By using a safe word, both people get to learn about each other... pirate can push me to my limit now, to the point I think I'm gonna shatter, but he does so with such finesse and takes me to the very brink, without going over the edge.

 

Edited May 5, 2020 by LazyPiratesBounty
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[Deleted Member]

A safe word isn’t just a word, it’s an understanding that although as Submissive’s we want to be pushed we also want to know we are safe. A Dominant can claim to watch reactions and know your triggers all day long but there is always that possibility that they themselves let go too much and a word can bring them back in an instance without losing the momentum of the scene.

[Deleted Member]

It’s really kind of strange you mention that as I was talking about it recently with FbF and I was teasing her by saying all the subs love to have a safe word and wishing they will say it one day!
Safe word is a tease almost a kink by itself. We all want to hear it but some says it shouldn’t never be used as it’s kind of the Dom failed to read the sub.
Some subs which to say it and blame the Dom for not pushing hard for it.
It’s complicated 🤷‍♂️
In my Dom life only been used once.
I am curious to know what’s yours

[cautiousswitch]

13 hours ago, little_dark_princess said:

A safe word isn’t just a word, it’s an understanding that although as Submissive’s we want to be pushed we also want to know we are safe. A Dominant can claim to watch reactions and know your triggers all day long but there is always that possibility that they themselves let go too much and a word can bring them back in an instance without losing the momentum of the scene.

"I'm good at reading people," is a greatly misused statement in general.  It is a dangerously misused statement in kink.

"Empathy" has also become a buzz word and everyone claims to be empathetic.  I've seen a great increase in it being used on pro dom/me sites.

[Deleted Member]

21 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said:

"Empathy" has also become a buzz word and everyone claims to be empathetic.  I've seen a great increase in it being used on pro dom/me sites.

Oh yes... heard this word thrown about quite a lot too!  💗

[li****]

Safewords are there for a reason granted I've only ever had to use it a few times once was when an ex Dom did actually go passed my safeword, he didn't see my struggles ect he just saw it as an excuse to hold me down and beat my ass black and blue. What we do will always be considered dangerous ect but this is where trust comes in of course!!! Liam ( my Sir ) knows my little things I do when I'm getting to a point I can't take much more so he's always watching and knows himself when to stop. I may have to say amber a few times just to slow things down or if I need to change position ect (I suffer with arthritis so I need to move quite freely and not be in certain positions for too long) but I've only ever had to say red with Liam once and the play was instantly stopped as it should. Liam will always take me to that point also of pushing me ect but yes I agree safewords are there for a reason and never ever should you feel weak for using them. 

Edited May 6, 2020 by lil-monster

[Deleted Member]

No one should ever be made to feel weak for using their safe word. Our limits change everytime. Why have a safe word at all if that's the case❣

[Wo****]

11 hours ago, FabSeverus said:

It’s really kind of strange you mention that as I was talking about it recently with FbF and I was teasing her by saying all the subs love to have a safe word and wishing they will say it one day!
Safe word is a tease almost a kink by itself. We all want to hear it but some says it shouldn’t never be used as it’s kind of the Dom failed to read the sub.
Some subs which to say it and blame the Dom for not pushing hard for it.
It’s complicated 🤷‍♂️
In my Dom life only been used once.
I am curious to know what’s yours

Having a safe word allows me to test my limits, freely. 

I've never used my safe word during impact play, and the one time I did use it with Pirate it was because we did something a shade too quickly, that's all.

 

There is an element, for me, of wanting to see how far I'd go, how much would I take but only ever for myself. I have absolutely no problem with admitting if I've reached my limit.