Relly Posted May 8, 2020 Posted May 8, 2020 It seems like the modern attitude towards bdsm and is kinky sex then move on. I just didnt think that's what it was about. I've never had any sort of bdsm relationship mind you. I wasnt thinking it was a whole 50 shades of grey thing either to be clear. I thought it was more of a need or maybe a fulfillment of a missing part of you. In my mind that's something you build with another person. I suppose for me is it's a control thing. I just want for a moment to not have to be the one making decisions. But I wouldn't trust a stranger with that. Sometimes I just overwhelm myself with myself. Am I looking in the wrong place? Maybe therapy lol? And should probably add I guess a part is me looking for trust in someone else as well.
ey**** Posted May 8, 2020 Posted May 8, 2020 whilst that seems to be the attitude it's not the reality. people who come in with that kinda view tend not to last long
Deleted Member Posted May 8, 2020 Posted May 8, 2020 As with any type of sexual relationships there are many different types of relationships withing BDSM, from casual to long term monogamous. It's all about what an individual desires, some want to experience something with just one D/s partner where others wants to experiences things with lots of partners. Everyone's needs are different. There are the risks of the safety eliments of the more casual BDSM experiences but to some that is part of their need & desire, to be in a position where anything can happen, to be *** & vaunerable & to some it's what they need to feel. Some need total trust, some need to surrender that trust, variety & diversity. Its all about what you need & desire & gravitating to partners with the same needs, desires, mentality & personality as you.
Deleted Member Posted May 8, 2020 Posted May 8, 2020 No, it’s not what it’s all about... if anyone tries to make you believe it is they’re not true to BDSM. Always respect the four pillars and you’ll not go far wrong. In terms off physical submission, make sure they own your mind before you offer your body 💗
cautiousswitch Posted May 8, 2020 Posted May 8, 2020 Everybody has a different Venn diagram - BDSM in one circle, sex in another. For a few people the two circles overlap completely, for a few they don't overlap at all. For the majority there is partial overlap of varying degrees.
Th**** Posted May 23, 2020 Posted May 23, 2020 The BDSM lifestyle is above all things inclusive rather than exclusive. So which ever way you feel is right to live YOUR lifestyle is right for you. The main aim is to find another person or persons with those same opinions. While I hope we all agree that consent is the essential difference between BDSM and ***, and that communication is essential to keep that consent fully informed at least. There is no one true way. Some people play casually while others prefer to play within some form of relationship. You will find this covers a lot of ground. Rather than looking at how people play differently, and trust me they always will, to you. Just be sure you know in your mind what you are seeking and what wants and needs would have to be fulfilled to make you happy. It will make it much easier to then find what you seek. At the end of the day any BDSM site can become a bit of an echo chamber, but we are just people who want a kinkier relationship with other people. The depth of every aspect of that varies from person to person of course. It should go without saying that if we want people to accept us with our kinks and curiosities into the lifestyle the one thing we should do in return is just accept every one else with all of theirs. Trust will always take time and is not easy to give or acquire, so on your journey do not give up because you do not find a gold nugget in the first few shovels full of sand. Real trust is worth taking the time to find and build. Good luck.
co**** Posted June 9, 2020 Posted June 9, 2020 When you're circulating, you'll meet others who are circulating. People who change partners more often will circulate more often, so we should expect the circulation population to skew towards those who change partners more (assuming similar population sizes, plus other things). For me, all of my BDSM relationships have been multi-year Odyssies (sp?). I'm a tough dom, and also a softy with *** bits. I prefer to trust someone for years before inviting them near my wounds or *** parts, but it's so nice to have them there.
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