Confused

[wife-8464]

I am a submissive wife. We have been together for 4 years. Because that’s who I am I like that to reflect in bed. It comes naturally to me, our relationship is better that way, and he more naturally takes the lead. 

On OCCASION he likes me to take control in bed. This doesn’t bother me and I think he sees it more as an occasional rebellion than as him being submissive. He is still dominant. Part of this, or so I thought, was me being on top. 

Because of angles me on top is the only position where I will reliably finish from penetration. Penetration feels more personal to me. But I feel too dominant. Apparently he really likes this too and it doesn’t make him feel like I’m dominant at all.

Im physically in more control and typically feel a weird pride after for this position. Since we can’t change physics and somehow make missionary a better angle, how do I feel more submissive while preforming this role on a more regular basis?   

[Deleted Member]

You could try being in that position with your hands cuffed behind your back, possibly gagged and not reaching orgasm without his permission. There are various variations possible...

[TemptressM]

ask him to instruct you,  go slower,  go faster,  take me deeper,  If he is voicing his control it can help, or as Wiz said,  bondage can help too,  breast bondage can help if you are into that or wearing nipple glamps that he can tug

[Ky****]

yes cuffs and gags make it difficult to feel dominant even if you are on top, assuming of course you can adopt the cowgirl position when restrained, first time I tried it I couldn't manage it because the mattress was too soft for me to keep my balance as I lowered myself on him, as they say practice makes perfect so its worth sticking with.

the other thing that hasn't been mentioned is are you into being spanked? its not unusual for a Dominant to allow a sub to ride them as a concession to their having a sore bottom so you wouldn't be alone in doing this, and its difficult to feel you are being dominant when your bottom is red and throbbing

[E-dUbBs]

Depending on you limits, hair pulling, face slapping spanking etc
As well as previously mentioned psychological psychological things like instruction etc
I’m sure he feels power because you orgasm so effectively you’re giving him more power in doing so

[wife-8464]

Thanks, there’s some good ideas here we can try. I never thought of me getting off as making him powerful; that’s something to think about. 

[cautiousswitch]

14 hours ago, Wife said:

On OCCASION he likes me to take control in bed. This doesn’t bother me and I think he sees it more as an occasional rebellion than as him being submissive. He is still dominant. Part of this, or so I thought, was me being on top.  

For decades we have been bombarded with the notion that men only think about sex and women put up with it to make men happy.  On occasion some of us like for women to initiate sex and take control because it lets us know that they are really interested.

As for taking a physical dominant position - You're doing it to please him, which a submissive can get into.  The person on top has to do a little more work, which you can also view as a submissive situation.  As others have suggested, have in instruct you in how he wants you to do, but not so much that it seems like you're just following orders (again, you want him to know that you are interested in this and not just going through the motions).  Also ask his opinion from time to time - "Is this what you like, sir?" - be a little teasing and seductive when you ask, but keep the mindset that you will follow instructions if he gives them.

[E-dUbBs]

@wife i know it’s how I feel when my sub orgasms
Plus I enjoy pulling her onto me as I watch her etc

[Si****]

His hands around your throat might help :)

[Deleted Member]

You can have him place his hands on your hips and control depth, motion, s***d. Orgasm denial is possible too. Hand on throat. You can be bound and still be on top. If your collared and have a lead, you can be on top and he can control your posture. So much room for activities.

[Th****]

Dominance is in no way defined by position.

You can be on top and be just as submissive because your husband can retake the control at any point he wishes.

It is far easier for you to get clitorial stimulation in that position as well. As stated already he can hold your hip's, guide you and thrust up into you.

If you are trying improve your experience of the missionary position it may help to place a large hard pillow under your butt. This may improve your partners chance of impacting hard on your g spot.

If he keeps his lower stomach low at the same time it should also increase the intensity of sensation on your clitoris.

It goes with out saying you can adjust all this to suit your level of sensativity by tilting your pelvic area.

Hope it helps

[Jinxy]

On 5/11/2020 at 8:10 PM, Wife said:

I am a submissive wife. We have been together for 4 years. Because that’s who I am I like that to reflect in bed. It comes naturally to me, our relationship is better that way, and he more naturally takes the lead. 

On OCCASION he likes me to take control in bed. This doesn’t bother me and I think he sees it more as an occasional rebellion than as him being submissive. He is still dominant. Part of this, or so I thought, was me being on top. 

Because of angles me on top is the only position where I will reliably finish from penetration. Penetration feels more personal to me. But I feel too dominant. Apparently he really likes this too and it doesn’t make him feel like I’m dominant at all.

Im physically in more control and typically feel a weird pride after for this position. Since we can’t change physics and somehow make missionary a better angle, how do I feel more submissive while preforming this role on a more regular basis?   

All these other responses are excellent options for if you want to change it up a bit and add some more fun. Part of it is mentality as well.... something as in “he’s ALLOWING me ride him.” It sounds like you actually enjoy being in the top position and your husband does as well. My caution to you is to not let stereotypes of Dom/sub roles get in the way of your enjoyment. Embrace that you feel pride riding your Dom. Add in the other options people gave for enjoyment, not because you think you should to fit as a submissive.