Deleted Member Posted May 25, 2020 Posted May 25, 2020 I have been on this app for awhile now, and it seems I have not been able to find any subs or anyone interested in getting together (that is also close by). A lot of my time is spent reporting scammers and such, which I enjoy, however I want something meaningful to come out of this app. I hope I'm not the only one, and would love to hear some struggles or success stories on this app. Thanks for reading. 😁
ey**** Posted May 25, 2020 Posted May 25, 2020 I just wrote this elsewhere - but - diversify Don't just use this site. Get involved in your local community also. Online/Offline experiences can compliment each other and help you in the long run. For success stories... there are quite a few I will let others chime in with. Myself - there is someone I've spoken with who I look forward to meeting after lockdown. At a time we are both happy to. Whether it's meaningful depends on definition. I mean, I've also made a few friends via this website and that is valuable also. Sharing experiences ultimately helps.
Leisa Posted May 25, 2020 Posted May 25, 2020 Hello 141 — the process will work if you allow it but it does take time. As a dominate you actually have the advantage as it seems there are more subs in here than available authentic Doms. As previously stated you need to use all your resources as a lot of your local resources are doing online munches and such during this pandemic. Also don’t allow distance to become such a sticking point as you never know what can happen. Just like in a vanilla relationship, forming bonds takes time and work. While not ideal this forum and process allows you to meet someone new and get to know them beforehand in a way that in person may not. Because of the current constraints it ***s you to actually get to know the other person before any real life meetings can occur and that can only deepen the connection you will both feel if you allow it. Have you tried the lobby and other chat rooms? I know that there are quite a few subs in there who are not currently in D/s relationships and are waiting for the right dominant to come along. In the chat rooms you get to see and participate in interaction with submissive and other dominates, participate in the conversations that are ongoing, and get to know the individuals behind the profiles. The chats allow you to make friends that you otherwise would not have met and are open and welcoming to any new members who stop in. I could easily name more than half a dozen good subs who are unattached from in there. After months it’s where I have met mine and I couldn’t be happier. I know I’m not the only one who’s relationship has begun in that way. By getting to know the individuals in the chat forum you get through the first hurtle of meeting someone in an organic manner before pursuing anything further instead of looking at a bunch of profiles and getting the scammers only looking for monetary gain or a one-off good time. Just make sure you adhere to the chat room terms of service and rules — especially the no advertising rules as those will get you reported before you have the opportunity to get to know anyone. Give it a try especially since you’ve nothing to lose. When you do feel free to say hello. Sometimes not walking in blind to a room and seeing a familiar face allows you to be yourself instead of walking into a room and knowing no one which can be intimidating when you see how close everyone appears. Believe it or not there are those who have only been there a short time who have been welcomed with open arms and are meeting your potential submissive. There are individuals from all over the world in there with the majority from the US and Europe. Regardless of what you decide is the best course for you I wish you the all the best in your current quest.
Si**** Posted May 25, 2020 Posted May 25, 2020 Just to add a slightly different perspective to what already been written. Think of it like going out with your mates on a saturday night to a bar or a club. If your sole aim is "to pull", chances are you're going to be going home alone and logging onto PornHub again. Thing is.. women, assuming you're hetero here, have a great ability to smell mens intentions. You will just come across as desperate and that will be the end of your game. But if you go out to enjoy yourself, have a good time, meet people etc then chances are someone will notice you, all natural and cool and things may move on from there. So forget about finding a sub. Try to talk to as many different people as you can. Men and women, Dom and sub. Go to munches, meet as many kinksters as possible. Be honest, be real and genuine. All the best x
Deleted Member Posted May 25, 2020 Author Posted May 25, 2020 Your not the only one. I've erased most of my profile because of lack of anyone visiting...i wouldn't pin too many hopes on this place
Deleted Member Posted May 25, 2020 Author Posted May 25, 2020 Doors do open, be polite and more than anything patient.
marcyman Posted May 25, 2020 Posted May 25, 2020 It depends on what you both want from a D/s relationship on here, unless you have insight or you cater for every kink under the sun it appears impossible to tick all the correct boxes to form a relationship. So far as experience on here goes you'll never be Mr Right or Gray for anyone it's impossible. Ignore those from Europe, the States, Canada, S. America,Asia, the rest of the World as we all know they are scams. Take the advice given and good luck.
Vandalslut Posted May 25, 2020 Posted May 25, 2020 3 hours ago, marcyman said: It depends on what you both want from a D/s relationship on here, unless you have insight or you cater for every kink under the sun it appears impossible to tick all the correct boxes to form a relationship. So far as experience on here goes you'll never be Mr Right or Gray for anyone it's impossible. Ignore those from Europe, the States, Canada, S. America,Asia, the rest of the World as we all know they are scams. Take the advice given and good luck. A little broad and sweeping, isn't it? Scammers can be everywhere - there's been more than one or two spotted in here recently from the British Isles, so let's drop the xenophobia and racism, please. Sir Phileas, DonnyKinkster and Leisa have offered very good ideas. Join the discussion threads, read the columns, make posts on all sorts of subjects and make comments. Good luck.
marcyman Posted May 25, 2020 Posted May 25, 2020 May be but read deeper mentioned continents plus rest of the world so every where here and there. Over and over and over.
Deleted Member Posted May 26, 2020 Author Posted May 26, 2020 6 hours ago, Vandalslut said: there's been more than one or two spotted in here recently from the British Isles, so let's drop the xenophobia and racism Hi @Vandalslut. In his defence I wake every morning to such Gems from the States that usually start with words such as "Hey slave" or "what are you looking for?" hmmmm it clearly states that on my profile. We as blokes do get a lot from obvious scammers so I don't think he was intentionally being rude. Hope you're well 😁
Vandalslut Posted May 26, 2020 Posted May 26, 2020 21 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said: Hi @Vandalslut. In his defence I wake every morning to such Gems from the States that usually start with words such as "Hey slave" or "what are you looking for?" hmmmm it clearly states that on my profile. We as blokes do get a lot from obvious scammers so I don't think he was intentionally being rude. Hope you're well 😁 Thank you, good Sir! We are as usual - mad, bad and dangerous to know Yes, I don't think scamming is a characteristic or trait defined by geography or ethnicity. I was alerted by a friend here (he knows who he is. bless him!) who had spotted a new member (now former member) who - er - also had her own website, where bookings could be made...Another friend says the same thing as you: 'Read the profile, then you'll know what I'm looking for!'
Deleted Member Posted May 26, 2020 Author Posted May 26, 2020 I just instablock. They are so obvious I don't really understand why ***ps get so upset by it. It's part and parcel of any online dating site and easily dealt with.
Ky**** Posted May 26, 2020 Posted May 26, 2020 8 hours ago, Vandalslut said: A little broad and sweeping, isn't it? Scammers can be everywhere - there's been more than one or two spotted in here recently from the British Isles, so let's drop the xenophobia and racism, please. Sir Phileas, DonnyKinkster and Leisa have offered very good ideas. Join the discussion threads, read the columns, make posts on all sorts of subjects and make comments. Good luck. in general it does seem to be a rule of thumb that there will be a higher proportion of scammers from outside your own country, in my case almost every one who has contacted me from outside uk has bee one, using same language as @Donnykinkster mentions, although I don't have to block them they always violate the rules and get blocked b4 I can do so. Do you find its the same in Australia? or ius it a case that your country is big enough to facilitate a feeling of distance among scammers?
Vandalslut Posted May 26, 2020 Posted May 26, 2020 10 minutes ago, Kymi said: in general it does seem to be a rule of thumb that there will be a higher proportion of scammers from outside your own country, in my case almost every one who has contacted me from outside uk has bee one, using same language as @Donnykinkster mentions, although I don't have to block them they always violate the rules and get blocked b4 I can do so. Do you find its the same in Australia? or ius it a case that your country is big enough to facilitate a feeling of distance among scammers? There are plenty of con artists in every field - can't say we've met any in here at all, from anywhere. I suppose a scammer thinks they can't be tracked if they're coming in from somewhere other than your country of residence. I've meet wonderful people from all over the world, mostly. So many people don;t report being the victim of scammers as they feel so foolish. It's a shame, some of them are very good. The ones I've seen in here are pretty amateurish, as Donnykinkster says.
ey**** Posted May 26, 2020 Posted May 26, 2020 I feel we're getting sidetracked - but for the sake of it. I usually find someone on another continent approaching me is a precursor to it being a fake/scam - but the last person to do that dance was listed in Manchester, so.... it's not an exact science. And equally, I've had just general chats with folk who are real and are on other continents and actually, I think just chatting with people helps and enriches.
Deleted Member Posted May 26, 2020 Author Posted May 26, 2020 Yes same, I have made good connections with a few from the States but there are many who are obviously on the con. They usually Spank Rate my profile Send daft innaproptiate messages New accounts Have sent many more messages than received. Easy to spot and deal with.
marcyman Posted May 26, 2020 Posted May 26, 2020 It is unfortunate but it has been my experience so far not just here ,may not have hit on every member at some point as described by other contributions no denial that it occurs in the UK too. We live in a democracy and the right to free s***ch is paramount.
Annalou Posted May 26, 2020 Posted May 26, 2020 Hello @Hotstuff141! Thanks for throwing this discussion to the group. I see you've got lots of responses from valued members – which is proof enough that this is a thriving community. While there are fakes and scammers, as is always the case with an app and website of this nature, there are thousands of amazing, passionate kinky people who make this a fantastic place to be. Thank you for your hard work reporting people you suspect of being scammers – we encourage all our members to do this so our Support Team can investigate – and for helping us make this the most-trusted Fetish and BDSM family. Due to the Covid-19 crisis, not many people are keen on meeting up, or are even allowed out their house, so it's a strange time for us all. Be patient. Be kind. And chat online for now and get to know other people. 55% of our members identify as Submissive, so there are loads of Subs looking to get kinky IRL and URL. I hope you find what you're looking for, and welcome to the FET family!
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