Looking for Some Guidance

[AK_Maddie907]

Hey guys, I'm Maddie and I'm new to the world of BDSM. I'm currently in a relationship and both of us want to explore more of the BDSM world. He's taken the more dominant role and I'm the submissive, but we wouldn't mind trying the other way around sometime. 

 

I'm just looking to get ideas and guidance from those that have been doing this and have had multiple BDSM relationships. 

 

Please feel free to suggest ideas that have been fun for you and your partner, we are literally open to anything!

[Deleted Member]

Talk to each other, whatever makes you both hot is always a good starting point. Discuss fantasies and be honest. Loads of stuff in here in the forums, much more online. Start slow and see where it leads you, have fun 😊

[Leisa]

Communication is going to be your grounding point to reference for each other. Research both in here and online. Whatever you do always remember safety first. Start off slow and enjoy the learning process. Don’t be embarrassed about enjoying your activities and adventures. The more you both become familiar with the dynamic the more comfortable it will become. This is your journey and aside from telling you to research every aspect of BDSM embrace it and enjoy the process. Communication, honesty, trust, exploration, and always safety first.

[cautiousswitch]

Think about role play.  Personally, I am not good at it, but thinking through scenarios gives me ideas for non role play activities.

Decide on a fantasy.  We'll use a school boy/teacher scenario as an example.

What is the end result you want to achieve? They end up sleeping with each other? The student gets punished? The student ends up dominating the teacher?

How would this play out in real life? Either the student does something wrong and has to stay after class or the student is getting bad grades and has to go in for extra help.

How does this turn into a BDSM scene? The teacher believes in corporal punishment or the student is going to be tested prove that they can behave or the suggestion is made that grades can be changed under certain circumstances etc. Probably one of my biggest problems with role play is that a lot of scenarios revolve round an *** of power.

Flesh out the scene.  Once the basic premise is set what would be the natural progression of events?

What kind of dialog would fit naturally with the scene?

What is needed to fulfill the scene? The teacher keeps handcuffs in her desk or what ever etc

Even if you don't end up playing the scenario out you still have ideas and a mindset.  If you do decide to play out a scene then decide on the fantasy and end result together but then you may want the dominant to do most of the planning or it may seem overly scripted.

 

[Jinxy]

3 hours ago, cautiousswitch said:

Think about role play.  Personally, I am not good at it, but thinking through scenarios gives me ideas for non role play activities.

Decide on a fantasy.  We'll use a school boy/teacher scenario as an example.

What is the end result you want to achieve? They end up sleeping with each other? The student gets punished? The student ends up dominating the teacher?

How would this play out in real life? Either the student does something wrong and has to stay after class or the student is getting bad grades and has to go in for extra help.

How does this turn into a BDSM scene? The teacher believes in corporal punishment or the student is going to be tested prove that they can behave or the suggestion is made that grades can be changed under certain circumstances etc. Probably one of my biggest problems with role play is that a lot of scenarios revolve round an *** of power.

Flesh out the scene.  Once the basic premise is set what would be the natural progression of events?

What kind of dialog would fit naturally with the scene?

What is needed to fulfill the scene? The teacher keeps handcuffs in her desk or what ever etc

Even if you don't end up playing the scenario out you still have ideas and a mindset.  If you do decide to play out a scene then decide on the fantasy and end result together but then you may want the dominant to do most of the planning or it may seem overly scripted.

 

This is great advice. Often when my partner starts giving me an outline of a fantasy of theirs, it immediately sparks my own inspirations for the scene. Sometimes it actually causes too many ideas haha. But another great way to explore this, especially if you’re not great at creating the fantasy on your own initially, is to read some erotica. Maybe have you and your partner each go through some stories and you each pick out a handful of ones that intrigue you or get you hot. You then give trade and have the other person look over the ones you picked. See if you like the scene, would you change anything, add in anything? This will hopefully help get the ball rolling for conversations about different kinks and interests. Remember to play safe and communicate. Have fun! 

[Sextaylor1944]

Take a look at Sub-Shop Bondage it has many tips

[DeliaB]

Hey Maddie. I’m quite new to BDSM too, and I’ve realised that there is so much to explore with this sexual practice. Like you, I’ve taken the more submissive role, but recently my partner and I have started swapping positions, and this can make BDSM a little more exciting. We also started experimenting with mouth gags, sex toys, blindfolds and whips, and now we're gradually getting into fetish roleplay. Before we started exploring the world of BDSM, we read a lot about it first, as it can be a little bit complex and intimidating if you’re new to it. Here’s an article for BDSM beginners that helped. Might have some useful tips for you

[Deleted Member]

Hi Maddie! I would suggest slow and easy. After you try something, talk about it!  See if it's something you'd want to keep doing or not.  You can also do things that you've already done with and mash them up with something new!

Roleplay can be fun such as pet play

Toys!!!

Also read! Read about the lifestyle! Read about the different aspects because it's not just D/S. There are a whole host of different avenues one can take.