How do we weed through the creeps on this site and find something real?

[kiki38]

So I've been lurking around this site for a few months and I have to say, I'm a bit disappointed. Most everyone I have interacted with just seems to be here to get off. Which is fine don't get me wrong, in the long run I'm sure that's why we are all here :) I am just looking to find some open minded people that will converse a bit and share some experiences at the least before blowing their load. How do you weed out the posers?

[Deleted Member]

Ask questions about them as a person and as their role, if they’re reluctant to engage or ignore and still chat sex then move on 💗

[Cade]

I know this may sound weird, but check out chat. It's very casual and everyone is there to talk; it's a lot of rabble mostly, but between friendly people looking to get to know others. There's even some interesting topics from time to time!

[Pl****]

Are you being honest about what you're looking for? You can't really change the kinds of people that are on this site (people that place enough priority on sexual specifics to be here), but if you state up front you're not comfortable jumping into the sex chat until you've gotten to know someone, I'm sure there are people that would respect that.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Pleasurecalculus said:

if you state up front you're not comfortable jumping into the sex chat until you've gotten to know someone, I'm sure there are people that would respect that.

oh you sweet summer child.

[ey****]

I think it can be difficult.  I guess a question is - is this all folk who come to you, or do you ever reach out to those who interest you?

I definitely think a mixture of passive interactions (getting to know folk through forum and chat) combined with, where possible, real life events etc keeps a lot of options open.

[kiki38]

I guess I've just been having a hard time finding someone interesting enough to get a conversation started. I'm not that picky by any means, I just don't want the first thing out of someone's mouth to be "I can't wait to *** you"
No wine or dine first? What happened to some old school foreplay?!

[ey****]

No - I understand, for sure.

I feel myself and others have said this before - but too many guys go in all guns blazing - get called on it - retort with "I thought this was a fetish site" - blissfully unaware that reality is very different to the fantasy world in their head where they don't have to pretend to be interesting.

[Deleted Member]

24 minutes ago, kiki38 said:

I guess I've just been having a hard time finding someone interesting enough to get a conversation started. I'm not that picky by any means, I just don't want the first thing out of someone's mouth to be "I can't wait to *** you"
No wine or dine first? What happened to some old school foreplay?!

First off that is not an acceotable response. Who even says that. Personally i need to have somewhat of a conversation first. Find.out similar interests etc. I got off this site for a whilebecause i coilsnt find anyone decent to talk to.

[Deleted Member]

I sympathise Kiki. I come across it a lot. And “lockdown horn” 🙄 makes it worse. But do you think your profile maybe needs a little editing just in case men do read it first? Make it clear what you want there. And the chat is fab!

[JavaDragon]

I'm super new to this particular app/site, but I think I can safely say that it's like this everywhere. Especially if you're a sub in a kink-friendly space surrounded by "Doms" who can just slide right into your messages and start word-vomiting their fantasies all over you. It's a problem. There are many great kinksters out there though. You mainly just have to wade through all the shit, but the good people are out there.

[JavaDragon]

I'm super new to this particular app/site, but I think I can safely say that it's like this everywhere. Especially if you're a sub in a kink-friendly space surrounded by "Doms" who can just slide right into your messages and start word-vomiting their fantasies all over you. It's a problem. There are many great kinksters out there though. You mainly just have to wade through all the shit, but the good people are out there.

[Deleted Member]

15 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I sympathise Kiki. I come across it a lot. And “lockdown horn” 🙄 makes it worse. But do you think your profile maybe needs a little editing just in case men do read it first? Make it clear what you want there. And the chat is fab!

I read everyones profile who message me. Its interesting to find out aout them.

[na****]

True

[Deleted Member]

Its not just ladies who have issues with this. There are so many people on here that are fake. Not just here either but every bdsm chat. It gets to the point where it seems inpossibke to find someone to have a conversation with

[Deleted Member]

I’ve had lots of great conversations with people so I’m sorry to hear this. But pleased to hear of people reading profiles! Not common in my experience 😁.

[Deleted Member]

I believe you can filter messages you receive, which is a huge help to start with, especially to stop the infamous dick pics 🤦🏻‍♀️

The are good people on this site it just takes time to find the people that click with you. I'd say probably join chats, look at information / the forums on here about different kinks etc and share what you think you may find people with a similar thinking to you will find you that way ☺️

Hope you find what you are after and your always welcome to drop me a message to talk if you want 🤗

[Deleted Member]

I believe you can filter messages you receive, which is a huge help to start with, especially to stop the infamous dick pics 🤦🏻‍♀️

The are good people on this site it just takes time to find the people that click with you. I'd say probably join chats, look at information / the forums on here about different kinks etc and share what you think you may find people with a similar thinking to you will find you that way ☺️

Hope you find what you are after and your always welcome to drop me a message to talk if you want 🤗

[Deleted Member]

Yes you can filter and it’s really a great feature! And I’ve never received a dick pic on here. 😍

[Deleted Member]

Old school went out the window sometime ago my lovely!
Iv been on here over a year now & mostly found users & time wasters. They usually always just want wank material.
I’m in convos with other women in here to support each other & we are all experiencing the same crap.
With the exception of one true gentleman which gives me hope at least.
Stay strong & stick to your standards whatever they may be.
I wish you luck my sweet 😘

[Wo****]

I've been on here just over a year, and yes I've had my share of time wasters, pretend Doms, arsehole, the lot but... I've also found Pirate and some really good friends on here.

 

 

[Leisa]

It’s not easy to find the person you feel is right for you period. Be it in a BDSM site, a standard dating site, or in real life. Absolutely set your standard high and weed through the dicks. It’s definitely not easy but there are real Dominants out there if you look and wait. Take out an advertisement specifying exactly what you’re seeking, out specifics on your profile that detail who you are, what you’re looking for, and what that entails. Put up filters to stop messages from the newbies who are just looking for a one off. Don’t go off site with anyone you haven’t gotten to know. As soon as someone asks you to go off site without taking the time to get to know you block and move on. Don’t be afraid to read through profiles yourself. Look through the forum and engage in the chat rooms for like minded individuals. I met my Admiral in the lobby and could not be happier. Your turn is coming. Keep your chin up.

[Deleted Member]

36 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

Yes you can filter and it’s really a great feature! And I’ve never received a dick pic on here. 😍

I was so glad for the filter at one point I was getting so many dick pics was doing my head in, so much so I started sending pictures of funny cats back saying since your after p***y here you go, enjoy ! 😆

[Deleted Member]

Snorting at that AnimeBlonde! 🤣

[freddyflintj]

I know how you feel ;) I am finding the same problem with the women on here.