How do we weed through the creeps on this site and find something real?

[Si****]

On 8/1/2020 at 10:18 AM, PhantomFlogger said:

I weed through the dangerous subs by talking to them, wanting to be ***d does not make a good sub, BUT!

if you are talking about the posers who call themselves Doms and sully our titles in the hopes to get layed or be send some "wank material" then its simple! Ask them for a reference.

An okay Dom has had at least 2 partners, a good Dom maybe 6 scenes with casual partners in the community..

Ask for 2 references, ask the referees if they follow boundaries, are they nice, would they recommend, what do they specialise in.

Ask partners if they are creeps.

I agree, there does appear to be some consistant truth that the good Doms have subs. that in itself should say something. If they werent any good or are just creeps, they wouldnt have any. Any Dom who is confident in themselves wouldnt feel threatened by letting others speak to their subs.

[Ky****]

9 minutes ago, SirGreen said:

I agree, there does appear to be some consistant truth that the good Doms have subs. that in itself should say something. If they werent any good or are just creeps, they wouldnt have any. Any Dom who is confident in themselves wouldnt feel threatened by letting others speak to their subs.

i think i need to adopt that approach as well, although most do refuse at least the ones i've been in contac with

[Si****]

1 hour ago, Kymi said:

i think i need to adopt that approach as well, although most do refuse at least the ones i've been in contac with

I would consider a refusal as a red flag. Ive known some crap reasons for why they cant give a referance such as they have moved away and they have another Dom. That doesnt mean they are uncontactable. Any relationship is built on trust and being honest with people is the biggest part of trust in my book. Just as I dont take it on face value when a sub says they have a partner and they approve of them playing away. I want to speak with said partner to hear it myself. If they tell me they have another partner and they dont know about the playing away, then I respect the honesty. at least I can make an informed choice.

[PhantomFlogger]

3 hours ago, Kymi said:

i think i need to adopt that approach as well, although most do refuse at least the ones i've been in contac with

Yeah, there may be some instances where a person cant point you to a good reference.

I cant think of any, but im sure there are.

But id ask yourself "do i want to be the Guinea pig" i dont know what your kink is, maybe its the not knowing, maybe you want to give that person a reference in the future.

All i know is if my sub said she was experienced but nobody on this planet could vouch for her, id tell her to get involved in the community, then later down the line she will have lots of subs/ Doms and all inbetween to say she is safe, sane and consentual.

[Deleted Member]

I find the same thing 😕. I just want to talk , listen and learn - and this is hard to do in pm bc like u said a lot of people just want their release. Group chat can be helpful at times, But Lately I’ve just been reading people’s story’s they post.. it’s almost like hearing about someone’s experiences. I always thought a D/s relationship was built on trust but I’ve found , for many in here , that’s not necessarily true lol for me, my submission comes from the heart and I’m not giving up control for just any random man that sends me a pm lol

[Ky****]

1 hour ago, PhantomFlogger said:

Yeah, there may be some instances where a person cant point you to a good reference.

I cant think of any, but im sure there are.

But id ask yourself "do i want to be the Guinea pig" i dont know what your kink is, maybe its the not knowing, maybe you want to give that person a reference in the future.

All i know is if my sub said she was experienced but nobody on this planet could vouch for her, id tell her to get involved in the community, then later down the line she will have lots of subs/ Doms and all inbetween to say she is safe, sane and consentual.

need to clarify my point, it was in response to ask for references- only known one dom who wasn't professional who was prepared to let me speak to/email there other subs in order to find out about them, its something that I've often requested but always been fobbed off 

[Ta****]

5 hours ago, SirGreen said:

creepers that play hard.Thats why I like trolls, they have the conviction to be up front with their stupidity. lol

 

Now there ain't nothing wrong with trolls Sir Green, not at Christmas anyway.

Brats are better though.  Hehe.🤓

[Ravenlvsoral]

Well im very mutch real and I am who I say I am xx

[VoyagerX]

12 hours ago, SirGreen said:

creepers that play hard.Thats why I like trolls, they have the conviction to be up front with their stupidity. lol

 

I hate both.

Which ever way you want to spin it....

Creepers or trolls.... Their presents is profane.

They both lack any sort of moral compass.... Whether they're stupid or not.

I would like to put them both upside down in a cesspit... And see how much they have to say for themselves then.

[Si****]

19 hours ago, TammyNatalia said:

Now there ain't nothing wrong with trolls Sir Green, not at Christmas anyway.

Brats are better though.  Hehe.🤓

Brats are much more fun lol

[Wo****]

I had a lot of messages that were creepy, or rude, or entitled, whatever before becoming a meet n greeter. Now it's nuts!

 

Men demanding sex and submission. Declarations of love. Comments like "I need to fuck your hot ass" Friend requests, demands to see my secret gallery....

 

Some have just been keen, or lonely. Some are just morons. Or wannabe Doms. Or horny young lads who assume Dommes are there for them.

 

I don't hold back on telling them my thoughts and I use block a lot more. That's how I weed them out. Oh, and report any profiles that break the rules.

[Ta****]

1 hour ago, SirGreen said:

Brats are much more fun lol

Yay....right you are.🤓  Hehe. 

[ol****]

I might have said this already, if so I appologise.

One of the best ways IMHO is to see how long a person has been a member here and how active they are in the forums. I find most people who post in the forums are considered and sensible in their approach. Does this reduce the size of the "pool of talent" - yes a lot and it still does not guarantee that you'll find somebody compatible.

@Bounty has my admiration for taking on the greeter role. It must be tough to do.

[Wo****]

@oldfellow It's actually really good fun 😊

The myriad of personalities is fascinating and I get to chat to some very interesting people and it's a great way to discover different kinks.

[DevilsDoLL]

This is a great post

[Deleted Member]

Time and patience.

[Babylove8350]

I agree with you 100% LOL I just joined and I'm having the same problem. everyone who's contacted me swears they are a daddy but they really arent. They even have the nerve to ask me for my credit card information and my login info because they are now my daddy LOL and need to know all about my finances! As if!!

[Deleted Member]

On 6/7/2020 at 2:17 PM, kiki38 said:

I guess I've just been having a hard time finding someone interesting enough to get a conversation started. I'm not that picky by any means, I just don't want the first thing out of someone's mouth to be "I can't wait to you"
No wine or dine first? What happened to some old school foreplay?!

I feel your *** lol

[Deleted Member]

On 6/8/2020 at 2:47 AM, Thebian said:

Totally hear you there Kiki. That one is filters , patience, and good for you for having higher standards.

I know this may sound stranger from a male but I felt exactly the same way. No way did I want to have that few a sentences and then... Well to be honest I could not really picture what you did next to someone you had absolutely no knowledge or trust for.

I found if I got a "Hi there, How r u" I ignored it as they needed to at least spell, if they spelled it right then when asked anything, just saying you can find that on my profile please read before communicating further mostly sorted the chaff.

I know sounds harsh, but needs must, keep strong you will do it there are good people here.

The ability to spell and use language appropriately is definitely one of my filters!

[Ky****]

14 minutes ago, Loubutterfly said:

The ability to spell and use language appropriately is definitely one of my filters!

that's gone out with txt speak I'm afraid, there I just used an example with txt

[Mz****]

On 11/16/2020 at 3:53 PM, Kymi said:

need to clarify my point, it was in response to ask for references- only known one dom who wasn't professional who was prepared to let me speak to/email there other subs in order to find out about them, its something that I've often requested but always been fobbed off 

It might be a legit issue if those they've played with/Dommed/subbed to/etc aren't on this site or FL, I only have 3 people on this site here for example who could verify I'm a safe person to be around/with/under, and one of those I had to subsequently block for real time behaviours.

I'm not talking about friends I've met from here who could verify I'm me but can't speak to my Domme style or safety but for want of a better word playmates, (although at least ones both) though personally known on profiles is a good indicator that someone is at least who they say they are, ..there's other ways to contact previous players I agree but some people don't want to be contacted to give a reference, people who may have left the lifestyle, or haven't disclosed they were ever part of it, people cheating on partners, most don't use real names for email contact and create throwaway addresses that are swapped and changed too..even phone numbers change regularly and someone shouldn't feel they're obliged to give references for other people for the rest of their life..especially if an old contact is prolific in the amount of folk they try to fuck/play/or send their way..anyway, just playing devils advocate, I generally think most would happily answer questions. 

[an****]

I’ve also found it difficult to find people of like minds to converse, share experiences and yes, eventually get off with her. But I have found some really great friends. Few and far between but well worth the effort.

If you’re still here and looking to meet real new people, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people and making new friend.

[an****]

Here**

[Deleted Member]

Since i joined there have been a few messages asking do i want some deviant fun bragging how big they are send pics and submit ....no thanks i came here to meet new people and events ect.

I have spoken with a few pleasant people talking about day to day things just the odd ones as i know what i want when it's right  

Edited February 7, 2021 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, Jen-5394 said:

Since i joined there have been a few messages asking do i want some deviant fun bragging how big they are send pics and submit ....no thanks i came here to meet new people and events ect.

I have spoken with a few pleasant people talking about day to day things just the odd ones as i know what i want when it's right  

Oh lord, if I hear how hung someone is again...I think I will puke.  Why do guys think that will make us want them?  Ugh, is it so much to ask for a meaningful conversation and then maybe some kink lol  

It's not like we just sleep with someone after saying 'hi' in any other circumstances...why do they think it's different here?