How to proceed with DD/lg? Advice needed.

[Deleted Member]

I don't know what I'm doing, but I know in 20 years I have never had a strong emotional connection with anyone I've dated.

I know I have never been seduced by a man except for losing my virginity.

I have always been dominate in every role of my life. I have worked in male dominant careers my whole life.
Military
Corrections
Private security

I'm tired of not trusting anyone. Never feeling safe and especially having meaningless physical fun.

A friend of mine sent me an article on the DD/lg dynamic and it blew my mind!
I don't know enough about the community to know if that's the only dynamic that seemed to fill my every need.

Any advise on how to proceed?
I have joined group forums to help with random questions I have. And I have read as much as could before I committed to making a profile. And yet I still have no clue what to do. 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

Please for a lost soul new to the community help guide me. ☺️

[Deleted Member]

Hello new little.

I know that this world can seem confusing and bring to surface every anxiety you never thought you had, but, I have found that in this "Wonderland/Underland" there are others who feel the same and thrive on the fact that they can explore.

Join the online munches, ask- always ask questions. Take a few lifestyle courses (there are some quality ones available, you just have to sift through).

I was always attracted to specific aspects of play in BDSM, starting with low-impact play (over the knee spanking and paddles to start). Gradually, I started looking into and adding other faucets: stepping into a specific role as a sub, learning protocols with my partner, identifying the character of my sub-nature (which can be bratty from time to time, but only just).

But one aspect I wholeheartedly refused, was DD/lg. It confused me and meant that I had to challenge specific thought patterns and ideas I had about that dynamic.

Even so, with Master (because I sincerely doubt it would have happened otherwise), we tested those waters and pushed at the mindset I initially had.

And now?

Well, I'm still not fully committed to every aspect of the DD/lg, but I respect it and gladly cry out for Daddy during play. I don't know how far it will go, I don't know how long it will last, but I do know that it will take time and an open mind.

If it's something that intrigues you, that piques your curiosity enough to try, doing what you are currently doing- posting and asking questions- is great.

XO

[Jinxy]

Diving into this world can definitely be overwhelming. You’re doing great and taking excellent steps of being curious and searching out answers. This whole process is a journey. It’s okay to feel a little lost along the way.

I guess my question for you is, what do you want to do with it? Are you just looking for more ways to gather information and learn about yourself? Looking for ways to meet people with similar interests? Looking for ideas on how to see if being little is right for you? Etc.

It mostly seems like you have the research one covered. Don’t feel like you have to learn everything all at once. With this community, there always seems to be new things to learn and explore. So take it slow and don’t put pressure on yourself to know everything.

As for meeting people with similar interests, the munches @dianaS mentioned are a great idea. I’ve also seen some chat groups on the internet that are specifically geared toward DD/lg. As always, be careful with those as it is the internet, but I have found some great friends through similar pathways that have helped me figure things out. Plus it’s great to have a support network.

Lastly, I would try either reading erotica or there are also some great erotic audios surrounding this topic. While you’re listening or reading, just assessing how you feel. Sometimes there are words or situations that just trigger something in you. That feel right. It might give you some confirmation that you’re on the right path or help you explore new avenues.

You’re doing fantastic. Just remember, there’s really no “right” way to explore these things. Have fun with it and be safe!

Jinx

P.S. Sometimes, especially initially starting out, it can be a challenge to find your little space. And some individuals struggle to find it without the right Daddy/Mommy. If this happens, don’t get discouraged. You’ll get there. 

Edited June 9, 2020 by Jinxy
Added post script

[Leisa]

While you mention being in a DD/lg dynamic you also say you aren’t sure if this is the only type of dynamic you belong in. My advice is to explore other dynamics. You can definitely have more than one dynamic that you could or would feel comfortable in. I have no experience in a DD/lg relationship and just know it’s not for me.
If you know for certain that’s exactly what you want then find a dominate who is also into that specific dynamic. They exist and are definitely on this site; it just takes awhile to find one. You have the research done for this type of relationship but if you’re unsure that this type of dynamic is the only one for maybe do some research on the others involved in the community.
Attend the munches put on in the site. Ask questions and contribute on the forum, go into the lobby and other chat rooms to get to know people within our community to make friends and get to know others who are in the same type of dynamic as well as in others. Most of all explore what you’re seeking and get to know yourself better and where you fit into the community as a whole. We never stop growing and the community changes and evolves constantly. Lastly, welcome to an incredible environment where people support and respect each other. Much love.

[Mo****]

A very good question girl.  There is some great advice above, but as you can see from the responses so far, not everyone is into it.  There are so many kinks/fetishes/dynamics that some will hit your on button straight up, and some won't, and some will come back to you at a later time.  Just explore what this life has to offer, and try things at least twice or three times, so that you gather the little things that trigger because there are things you miss the first time round.

I am ex-military and corrections, as well as security and Police, so I know how hard it is to fit and trust.  The military was the best place to learn people, in that when you were on operations, you knew your life depended upon them doing their jobs.  Being on a 2 way rifle range was never fun.  But take those methods of building trust and safety and reliance into your search, both for a dominant and the specific dynamic. 

Like anything, research, and you have checked that box already.  Now search for that dominant who will guide you, but like any other time, build that trust and respect.  A lot of what you find is an ongoing exploration much like the search for easter eggs.